I was driving.
It was a beautiful day. I remarked upon it. He countered with a reading of the weather report which promised rainfall in the night.
"But its beautiful now"
"Okaaaaaaaayyyyyyy"
He started to fiddle around the glove compartment.
"Can you please stop filling it up with your crap?" he said, while taking out a sheaf of tissues, hair clips and other things that tended to accumulate when I was around.
It was my fault. I live like a wanderer. But as I listened to the high pitched note of complaint from him, I knew I couldn't take it anymore. There was no silver lining this man could find. A litany of complaints, easily so.
I sighed, and decided to ignore him. It was such a beautiful day.
"Are you ignoring me?"
"Yep" I said, smiling.
"Its not something to be smiling about"
"Please, Suri, stop it"
"Stop what?"
"The incessant whining"
"Is that how you think of me?" he said, and launched into another session which I ignored.
"Suri, for the last time, shut up"
"Or else what?"
I am usually a sane and rational, un-flappable kinda person. But I couldn't take it anymore. Rage bubbled over.
I looked at the trailer looming up ahead, and hit the accelerator, and looked left. It was clear. I hit the indicator. And sped up.
"What are you doing?" he screamed as we came too close. I looked at his scared face.
At the last minute, I pulled left.
Oh, so precisely the car jammed into the left rear end of the trailer.
That was all I remembered.
I had a few broken ribs. The cops gave me the 'bad' news.
The right side of the car was beyond recognition.
Just as I intended.
September 16, 2009
April 09, 2009
Escape
She stood in her own kitchen, feeling like a stranger. A stranger would have the benefit of a fresh perspective. She closed her eyes, trying to guard against what she knew must eventually come next. It had always been so.
Why did I think this would be any different?
She shook her head, and opened her eyes. She looked around. Her eldest, four years old, was spilling milk while he tried to drink it. The twins were two years old. God knew she loved them, but these days, she simply didn't have the energy.
She looked at her husband as he came down the stairs. He jumped to attend to the spilled milk. No 'Good morning' as there once was.
She sighed, knowing a husband who tried to help was probably better than one that didn't.
She didn't know if she loved him anymore. She thought back to her previous failed relationships, be they of friendship or love, and the turning point in each one of them. Almost every single one did have a turning point. After which the love would start to fade, to be surreptitiously replaced by a seed of dislike. Which invariably grew into something that simply couldn't be uprooted. She had always supposed that it had been for the best. She tried to ignore the gnawing sensation that she had reached a similar turning point here.
This was different! She was married and had kids too!
She pasted a smile on her face, hoped no one would realize something was amiss, and tried to get past it.
Maybe you should talk about it. Before things became worse. Before you start to mean what you say under the subterfuge of sarcasm and the little jokes turn into insults.
She ignored the voice, and tried moving on. She had never been good at communication when it was most important, scared that the intensity of feeling would reveal too much.
A month later, she sat in her driveway, looking at her family from outside, unwilling to go in and be a part of the picture. She drove out, silently.
"Putti, I can't get hold of Chinnu". His voice sounded frantic.
Her best friend of the better part of two decades quieted down the first rush of panic, and asked 'Since when?', and listened to the details. She cursed herself for not following up on the glimmer of worry she felt when they spoke last. Chinnu was always full of news about herself, but recently she had started to deflect her questions and had tried to get her to talk instead. I should have known something was wrong! She cursed herself silently for ignoring the signs, although Chinnu had never gone missing before. The fact that Chinnu talked called in a leave of absence at work meant that she was safe. Where could she be?
"I am going to come over and pick up the kids so you can look for her" She said.
He hesitated, and finally gave in. "Do you have any idea where she might be?"
"I wish I did" she said, although he must know that her loyalties lay firmly with her friend, and if for whatever reason Chinnu didn't want to be reached, she would still support her. Even if that meant taking care of her kids, she thought to herself, with a small smile.
A day later, she pulled out her address book from a long time ago, and convinced her husband to take a few days off from work to take care of Chinnu's kids. As she put her car into gear, she thought back to a conversation, that for some reason popped into her head today and refused to let go.
"Putti, do you remember Parvathi aunty?" Chinnu had asked a few phone calls ago.
"The one who still lives in your ancestral village? Oh my god, that was such a long time ago!"
"I know. I used to love how we could step into the clear water of the tiny irrigation canals in the fields and instantly feel peaceful and content. Something about being so close to nature, I guess" she had said and changed the topic.
I hope I am not on a wild goose chase.
She didn't go to Parvathi aunty's house when she entered the village. She remembered that behind the village were the fields and drove directly to them. Her memory was faint, but she found a helpful village boy, who gave her the directions to Parvathi amma's field while smiling the whole time. She found a Cadburys bar in her bag and handed it over. She hadn't thought it was possible, but the boy's smile became even wider.
Simple pleasures, she mused, as she followed the directions.
She couldn't spot her in the fields. Sighing, she stopped her car and leaned back into the April sun. The ragi crop would be ready and brown in about a month. She remembered the taste of the young, green ragi millet, fried with spices.
'What the heck' she said aloud, and got out of her car. She pulled out a few ragi corns and looked around. There was no one to scream 'thief'. The scarecrow looked on morosely.
She stepped out of her sandals and put her toe into the water in the canal nearby. It was deliciously cold. She thought back to her childhood memory, and chastened by the fact that she still hadn't found Chinnu, looked around guiltily.
She saw a mound of brown earth, with small stones bordering it, in one corner of the field, and remembered Chinnu mentioning that her grandparents were buried there. Next to it, under stone slabs, was a small idol of Ganesha, where the family always offered prayers on important occasions.
On a whim, she walked towards it. And finally saw that Chinnu sat beside the idol, under the shade, with her head resting on her hands. She sat beside her. Chinnu didn't look up.
"I thought you might find me"
"Are you mad I did?"
"No" she said, looking up finally, "I tried, Putti, but I couldn't stay anymore."
Why did I think this would be any different?
She shook her head, and opened her eyes. She looked around. Her eldest, four years old, was spilling milk while he tried to drink it. The twins were two years old. God knew she loved them, but these days, she simply didn't have the energy.
She looked at her husband as he came down the stairs. He jumped to attend to the spilled milk. No 'Good morning' as there once was.
She sighed, knowing a husband who tried to help was probably better than one that didn't.
She didn't know if she loved him anymore. She thought back to her previous failed relationships, be they of friendship or love, and the turning point in each one of them. Almost every single one did have a turning point. After which the love would start to fade, to be surreptitiously replaced by a seed of dislike. Which invariably grew into something that simply couldn't be uprooted. She had always supposed that it had been for the best. She tried to ignore the gnawing sensation that she had reached a similar turning point here.
This was different! She was married and had kids too!
She pasted a smile on her face, hoped no one would realize something was amiss, and tried to get past it.
Maybe you should talk about it. Before things became worse. Before you start to mean what you say under the subterfuge of sarcasm and the little jokes turn into insults.
She ignored the voice, and tried moving on. She had never been good at communication when it was most important, scared that the intensity of feeling would reveal too much.
A month later, she sat in her driveway, looking at her family from outside, unwilling to go in and be a part of the picture. She drove out, silently.
"Putti, I can't get hold of Chinnu". His voice sounded frantic.
Her best friend of the better part of two decades quieted down the first rush of panic, and asked 'Since when?', and listened to the details. She cursed herself for not following up on the glimmer of worry she felt when they spoke last. Chinnu was always full of news about herself, but recently she had started to deflect her questions and had tried to get her to talk instead. I should have known something was wrong! She cursed herself silently for ignoring the signs, although Chinnu had never gone missing before. The fact that Chinnu talked called in a leave of absence at work meant that she was safe. Where could she be?
"I am going to come over and pick up the kids so you can look for her" She said.
He hesitated, and finally gave in. "Do you have any idea where she might be?"
"I wish I did" she said, although he must know that her loyalties lay firmly with her friend, and if for whatever reason Chinnu didn't want to be reached, she would still support her. Even if that meant taking care of her kids, she thought to herself, with a small smile.
A day later, she pulled out her address book from a long time ago, and convinced her husband to take a few days off from work to take care of Chinnu's kids. As she put her car into gear, she thought back to a conversation, that for some reason popped into her head today and refused to let go.
"Putti, do you remember Parvathi aunty?" Chinnu had asked a few phone calls ago.
"The one who still lives in your ancestral village? Oh my god, that was such a long time ago!"
"I know. I used to love how we could step into the clear water of the tiny irrigation canals in the fields and instantly feel peaceful and content. Something about being so close to nature, I guess" she had said and changed the topic.
I hope I am not on a wild goose chase.
She didn't go to Parvathi aunty's house when she entered the village. She remembered that behind the village were the fields and drove directly to them. Her memory was faint, but she found a helpful village boy, who gave her the directions to Parvathi amma's field while smiling the whole time. She found a Cadburys bar in her bag and handed it over. She hadn't thought it was possible, but the boy's smile became even wider.
Simple pleasures, she mused, as she followed the directions.
She couldn't spot her in the fields. Sighing, she stopped her car and leaned back into the April sun. The ragi crop would be ready and brown in about a month. She remembered the taste of the young, green ragi millet, fried with spices.
'What the heck' she said aloud, and got out of her car. She pulled out a few ragi corns and looked around. There was no one to scream 'thief'. The scarecrow looked on morosely.
She stepped out of her sandals and put her toe into the water in the canal nearby. It was deliciously cold. She thought back to her childhood memory, and chastened by the fact that she still hadn't found Chinnu, looked around guiltily.
She saw a mound of brown earth, with small stones bordering it, in one corner of the field, and remembered Chinnu mentioning that her grandparents were buried there. Next to it, under stone slabs, was a small idol of Ganesha, where the family always offered prayers on important occasions.
On a whim, she walked towards it. And finally saw that Chinnu sat beside the idol, under the shade, with her head resting on her hands. She sat beside her. Chinnu didn't look up.
"I thought you might find me"
"Are you mad I did?"
"No" she said, looking up finally, "I tried, Putti, but I couldn't stay anymore."
March 23, 2009
Fame
Olga was excited. She would finally get to see Kirk on stage. She had come to Vegas hoping to forget her past. She met Kirk, quite by accident, and was hoping she was onto something good, at last. He had his own show! She couldn't wait for it to start.
Kirk had made sure she got a good seat. She had thought about bringing a few friends, just to show off, but a niggling feeling had told her not to. Not yet, anyway.
The show started, with a dance/ acrobatic performance by four dancers. And then Kirk came onstage. She couldn't wipe her smile off her face. She wondered why the auditorium seemed less full than the other shows she had been to, but she shrugged it off.
He began with a joke. She wasn't sure where she had heard it before, but she was pretty sure she had, somewhere.
And then the show began. First up was the trademark magic trick, of cutting an assistant to pieces and bringing her back to life. She had never seen it in person, from such a vantage point, and quite enjoyed it.
Next, Kirk made a tiger appear on stage. And then it was a leopard, a white tiger..until she got tired of seeing various beasts make an appearance. Kirk tried hard to drum up interest in the acts, but he lacked the charisma showmen need, and his acts, like his jokes, were stale. Her smile began to fade.
Olga felt guilty for thinking those thoughts, but she saw that the rest of the audience was as unenthusiastic about his performance as she. So much so that Kirk had to get the audience to laugh politely, even if unwillingly, at his jokes by a cue of his hands.
She realized that she was paying more attention to his assistants than to him. No wonder his show was in the afternoon, she thought, surprised at the touch of venom in her thoughts that had not been there before.
In the end, she was only filled with sadness for the man, to have come so far, yet to have not reached success. She knew she couldn't be with him anymore. Not when she could not look up to him with respect.
He was seated outside, with his assistants, trying to sell measly bits of promotion material. Stop being mean, she told herself, as she walked out. She debated feigning fake admiration, but she simply didn't have the energy.
'Kirk, it was lovely to meet you' she said simply.
And walked away before she could see the look of dawning comprehension in his eyes.
Kirk had made sure she got a good seat. She had thought about bringing a few friends, just to show off, but a niggling feeling had told her not to. Not yet, anyway.
The show started, with a dance/ acrobatic performance by four dancers. And then Kirk came onstage. She couldn't wipe her smile off her face. She wondered why the auditorium seemed less full than the other shows she had been to, but she shrugged it off.
He began with a joke. She wasn't sure where she had heard it before, but she was pretty sure she had, somewhere.
And then the show began. First up was the trademark magic trick, of cutting an assistant to pieces and bringing her back to life. She had never seen it in person, from such a vantage point, and quite enjoyed it.
Next, Kirk made a tiger appear on stage. And then it was a leopard, a white tiger..until she got tired of seeing various beasts make an appearance. Kirk tried hard to drum up interest in the acts, but he lacked the charisma showmen need, and his acts, like his jokes, were stale. Her smile began to fade.
Olga felt guilty for thinking those thoughts, but she saw that the rest of the audience was as unenthusiastic about his performance as she. So much so that Kirk had to get the audience to laugh politely, even if unwillingly, at his jokes by a cue of his hands.
She realized that she was paying more attention to his assistants than to him. No wonder his show was in the afternoon, she thought, surprised at the touch of venom in her thoughts that had not been there before.
In the end, she was only filled with sadness for the man, to have come so far, yet to have not reached success. She knew she couldn't be with him anymore. Not when she could not look up to him with respect.
He was seated outside, with his assistants, trying to sell measly bits of promotion material. Stop being mean, she told herself, as she walked out. She debated feigning fake admiration, but she simply didn't have the energy.
'Kirk, it was lovely to meet you' she said simply.
And walked away before she could see the look of dawning comprehension in his eyes.
January 25, 2009
Wishes
He headed back to his desk after lunch, troubled. A younger partner had a two year old and was regaling everyone with stories of the naughty child. If he had not had any children, he would not have been so upset. But to have and yet not, was the worst.
He had never wanted children. His wife and he had agreed many years ago that they didn't want to. A few years later, he had seen his first love with a child that looked remarkably like he had, as a young child. He dismissed the notion. But it took root, and he wanted to know... After all, they had had their indiscretions. For a brief while, they had rekindled their romance. Both of them were married, and did not want to change anything. The risks were too great. Harmless, it had seemed at the time. He would always love her. Above anyone else, he knew. And so he hadn't been able to resist. And then, just as suddenly, she had put a stop to it. With no explanations. He hadn't tried to reach her, to reason or to find out why. After all, it was his fault they were apart.
He had fallen in love with her a few months without realizing his parents had their hearts set on someone for him. It was a different time from now, where children rebelled and led lives of their own choosing. And so he had done the honorable thing.
If only.
Life was full of if only's, it seemed. He had broken it off and shattered her heart. And then he met her again, a few years later, a beautiful delight. She was married. She was content, if not completely happy. As was he. And so it had begun.
He thought back to the day he had walked into her child's school and asked to examine the student records on a pretext. Surprisingly, it worked, and he saw that the child was seven years old. When he confronted her, she didn't deny it. He begged, but she wouldn't leave her husband.
It just wasn't done. Imagine the shame..my parents would be devastated, she had cried. And the child would be scarred forever. He had never felt so helpless in his life as he had then.
The boy was almost a man now. He had been to his college graduation, and hidden in the back.
Sighing, he went back to the papers on his desk. A few days later, at the local library, he saw the boy. His heartbeat quickened, and he strained to get a closer look at his son. If only he knew.
As the boy approached the checkout, he quietly slid behind him in the line. 'Thats a great book', he remarked, trying his best to sound casual and friendly.
The boy turned and smiled at him. They were the same height, and looked so alike. His smile faltered into a curious gaze. 'Have I seen you somewhere?'
'I am not sure'
'I have a feeling I have seen you many times..somehow on the periphery of things'
He had not expected this. Cursing himself for trying to talk to him, he bent his head and walked forward and placed his books on the counter. 'Maybe. I used to be friends with your mother a long time ago.'
He looked puzzled. 'Do you know me? I didn't say who my mom was'
When he received no reply, the boy resumed, 'I am sorry if I seem rude, its just that she is terribly sick now, and I have been so tired lately..The book is for her to read. They give her comfort. If you are a friend, maybe it would be good for her to see you.'
He nodded, unable to speak for fear of revealing how much the information affected him.
'Who shall I say I ran into?'
He paused, unwilling to give his name. Then he cleared his throat and said 'Tumo'
His son frowned, and then his face cleared. 'She gave you a nickname too? She has always done that. How did you get yours' he asked, curious.
Lightness filled him as he thought back to how he got his name from her. 'Well, I was on the plump side when I was younger, and instead of calling me motu she reversed the syllables' he said, glad that he was no longer plump, and thankful the boy seemed not to have inherited that gene from him.
The younger smiled, and it was amazing how his face cleared from the anxiety. 'Well, it was nice meeting you, I hope I see you soon' he said as he bid adieu.
The man stood staring after him. Wishing that things were different. That there was certainty that he would see his son every day, whenever he wanted to. Wishing she was not ill. Wishing they had made different choices. Wishing his life was set in a more modern time, unconstrained by old notions of propriety.
Oh, how he wished.
He had never wanted children. His wife and he had agreed many years ago that they didn't want to. A few years later, he had seen his first love with a child that looked remarkably like he had, as a young child. He dismissed the notion. But it took root, and he wanted to know... After all, they had had their indiscretions. For a brief while, they had rekindled their romance. Both of them were married, and did not want to change anything. The risks were too great. Harmless, it had seemed at the time. He would always love her. Above anyone else, he knew. And so he hadn't been able to resist. And then, just as suddenly, she had put a stop to it. With no explanations. He hadn't tried to reach her, to reason or to find out why. After all, it was his fault they were apart.
He had fallen in love with her a few months without realizing his parents had their hearts set on someone for him. It was a different time from now, where children rebelled and led lives of their own choosing. And so he had done the honorable thing.
If only.
Life was full of if only's, it seemed. He had broken it off and shattered her heart. And then he met her again, a few years later, a beautiful delight. She was married. She was content, if not completely happy. As was he. And so it had begun.
He thought back to the day he had walked into her child's school and asked to examine the student records on a pretext. Surprisingly, it worked, and he saw that the child was seven years old. When he confronted her, she didn't deny it. He begged, but she wouldn't leave her husband.
It just wasn't done. Imagine the shame..my parents would be devastated, she had cried. And the child would be scarred forever. He had never felt so helpless in his life as he had then.
The boy was almost a man now. He had been to his college graduation, and hidden in the back.
Sighing, he went back to the papers on his desk. A few days later, at the local library, he saw the boy. His heartbeat quickened, and he strained to get a closer look at his son. If only he knew.
As the boy approached the checkout, he quietly slid behind him in the line. 'Thats a great book', he remarked, trying his best to sound casual and friendly.
The boy turned and smiled at him. They were the same height, and looked so alike. His smile faltered into a curious gaze. 'Have I seen you somewhere?'
'I am not sure'
'I have a feeling I have seen you many times..somehow on the periphery of things'
He had not expected this. Cursing himself for trying to talk to him, he bent his head and walked forward and placed his books on the counter. 'Maybe. I used to be friends with your mother a long time ago.'
He looked puzzled. 'Do you know me? I didn't say who my mom was'
When he received no reply, the boy resumed, 'I am sorry if I seem rude, its just that she is terribly sick now, and I have been so tired lately..The book is for her to read. They give her comfort. If you are a friend, maybe it would be good for her to see you.'
He nodded, unable to speak for fear of revealing how much the information affected him.
'Who shall I say I ran into?'
He paused, unwilling to give his name. Then he cleared his throat and said 'Tumo'
His son frowned, and then his face cleared. 'She gave you a nickname too? She has always done that. How did you get yours' he asked, curious.
Lightness filled him as he thought back to how he got his name from her. 'Well, I was on the plump side when I was younger, and instead of calling me motu she reversed the syllables' he said, glad that he was no longer plump, and thankful the boy seemed not to have inherited that gene from him.
The younger smiled, and it was amazing how his face cleared from the anxiety. 'Well, it was nice meeting you, I hope I see you soon' he said as he bid adieu.
The man stood staring after him. Wishing that things were different. That there was certainty that he would see his son every day, whenever he wanted to. Wishing she was not ill. Wishing they had made different choices. Wishing his life was set in a more modern time, unconstrained by old notions of propriety.
Oh, how he wished.
December 29, 2008
An Ordinary Life - Prologue
I always dreamt of being famous. But not even my wildest dreams had a billion people praying for me, with the whole world watching.
The TV set shows a news reporter, standing outside the hospital and giving a progress report on my 'condition'. The media here is fickle. A single story can be picked up by all the stations, and easily forgotten the next day. Which is why I am surprised they are still following my 'condition', even after two weeks of my first appearance in national media.
You see, I am in a hospital room. Its not bad at all, actually, if you compare it to the Government Hospital (also called GH) down the street. There are many SMS jokes that go around, about people never leaving a GH alive, but let's not dwell on that. Life is too depressing as it is, without us making it worse by talking about the obvious. Ignoring bad things becomes a way of life.
Well, I am sitting on the plastic chair in the corner of the room, but no one knows that. Thats because my body is on the hospital bed in the center, with all those scary looking machines hooked to it.
They say there is a white light that appears when you die, and you should walk to it or remain a ghost if you choose to be earth-bound. I can see something glowing in the distance, perhaps its the white light they speak of. I expect Yamraj, the Hindu God of Death, to come by, on his mount of choice, a buffalo, anytime soon. I don't think I would mind. It is said that the body is a temporary residence of the soul, and after death, the soul is reborn until it attains moksha or attains a balance of karma. Maybe my next life would be a better one.
But I can't leave just yet. Not when a billion people are praying that I come out of the coma. The prayers are like invisible threads, holding me in place in this in-between state. I have been in a coma for the past two weeks.
Ever since the latest terrorist attack.
The TV set shows a news reporter, standing outside the hospital and giving a progress report on my 'condition'. The media here is fickle. A single story can be picked up by all the stations, and easily forgotten the next day. Which is why I am surprised they are still following my 'condition', even after two weeks of my first appearance in national media.
You see, I am in a hospital room. Its not bad at all, actually, if you compare it to the Government Hospital (also called GH) down the street. There are many SMS jokes that go around, about people never leaving a GH alive, but let's not dwell on that. Life is too depressing as it is, without us making it worse by talking about the obvious. Ignoring bad things becomes a way of life.
Well, I am sitting on the plastic chair in the corner of the room, but no one knows that. Thats because my body is on the hospital bed in the center, with all those scary looking machines hooked to it.
They say there is a white light that appears when you die, and you should walk to it or remain a ghost if you choose to be earth-bound. I can see something glowing in the distance, perhaps its the white light they speak of. I expect Yamraj, the Hindu God of Death, to come by, on his mount of choice, a buffalo, anytime soon. I don't think I would mind. It is said that the body is a temporary residence of the soul, and after death, the soul is reborn until it attains moksha or attains a balance of karma. Maybe my next life would be a better one.
But I can't leave just yet. Not when a billion people are praying that I come out of the coma. The prayers are like invisible threads, holding me in place in this in-between state. I have been in a coma for the past two weeks.
Ever since the latest terrorist attack.
December 03, 2008
Journey
She looked out the window. It was raining. “Better than snow” she told herself. She didn’t mind traveling. It was good to travel once in a while. By road, when someone else was driving. Like now, on the bus back home. It gave you time to reflect, read a book and watch the world go by.
She did have a lot to reflect on. A new start, a new beginning awaited her. She was finally starting on her new career. She would have expected to be sad about what she left behind, but she really wasn’t. Besides, she hadn’t really loved the man. Not even when she tried convincing him that she did. It was the challenge of it, she realized now, with the benefit of hindsight. She thought of the bet she had won with him, when she first got to know him. The poor guy didn’t know she only made bets she knew she would win. He had to treat her to coffee as part of the bargain. She smiled when she thought of it. ST sat there, looking awkward as he tried to make small talk. He was smart, and easily one of the better looking guys in her class. But he didn’t make friends easily.
She tried to remember why she insisted on calling him ST, it didn’t matter. She always gave meaningless nicknames to her friends, and somehow the names stuck. She had intended to forget about ST after that coffee after having decided he wasn’t interesting enough. And then he surprised her. As he was bidding her adieu, he smiled and said ‘Happy New Year and good luck on your exams’ like he wouldn’t be seeing her in class the following Monday. She had smiled evenly and wished him back, and walked back to her apartment annoyed that ST thought he could dismiss her that way. She refused to be slotted, and almost always stung back with a surprise whenever someone tried to categorize her. Or dismiss her.
He didn’t see what was coming, of course. In just a matter of days, she had clawed her way into his life and become his friend. He was nice enough, and she enjoyed the challenge of making him trust her enough to let his guard down.
The rain was slowing down. There was no one sitting on the seat beside her, and she turned, leaning against the window and resting her legs on the other seat. She really did like traveling; she decided when one of her favorite songs started playing on her iPod. It never failed to surprise her that some songs had the ability to take you back to a specific time and place in memory, every single time. A beautiful movie, a carefree laugh with a friend or a first kiss.
Her smile faded as she thought of that first kiss. It was nothing like what she expected. She had expected all thought would cease and she would be sucked up into the moment. She wasn’t. She sighed as she remembered the disappointment. As she looked out the window, she wished the ride could go on for longer. The view of the countryside was beautiful, she was listening to music, and was comfortable. What more could she possibly want? Clichéd as it sounded, the journey was more enjoyable than the thought of the destination. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for what awaited yet. She was always the first to admit she never knew what it was that she wanted. But she always knew when she didn’t want something, right away. And she had known ST was not the one for her right then. It was only a matter of time before he had to be told. So she waited until she could get away. She didn’t like to stay behind and watch the mess.
It seems very selfish of me, she thought to herself, and possibly unfair to ST. But she liked to think she had helped him in her own way. He seemed to make friends a little more easily now. She shrugged away the guilt; ST was an adult and would just deal with it.
It felt so good not have invisible threads of expectations around her wrist. So this is what it feels like to be ‘unencumbered’. The word had always seemed dirty. But now she realized it simply meant she was free. Free, she said aloud as she enjoyed the taste of it. She looked out the window again. The rain drops were standing still on the window. It had stopped raining. She watched, as a drop started rolling down when the bus jerked to a stop. It joined another drop that was also making its way down slowly, and they combined forces as they picked up speed down the window. Beautiful. Life is full of simple pleasures, she told herself as she hauled her bag down. And she was having a fresh start.
She did have a lot to reflect on. A new start, a new beginning awaited her. She was finally starting on her new career. She would have expected to be sad about what she left behind, but she really wasn’t. Besides, she hadn’t really loved the man. Not even when she tried convincing him that she did. It was the challenge of it, she realized now, with the benefit of hindsight. She thought of the bet she had won with him, when she first got to know him. The poor guy didn’t know she only made bets she knew she would win. He had to treat her to coffee as part of the bargain. She smiled when she thought of it. ST sat there, looking awkward as he tried to make small talk. He was smart, and easily one of the better looking guys in her class. But he didn’t make friends easily.
She tried to remember why she insisted on calling him ST, it didn’t matter. She always gave meaningless nicknames to her friends, and somehow the names stuck. She had intended to forget about ST after that coffee after having decided he wasn’t interesting enough. And then he surprised her. As he was bidding her adieu, he smiled and said ‘Happy New Year and good luck on your exams’ like he wouldn’t be seeing her in class the following Monday. She had smiled evenly and wished him back, and walked back to her apartment annoyed that ST thought he could dismiss her that way. She refused to be slotted, and almost always stung back with a surprise whenever someone tried to categorize her. Or dismiss her.
He didn’t see what was coming, of course. In just a matter of days, she had clawed her way into his life and become his friend. He was nice enough, and she enjoyed the challenge of making him trust her enough to let his guard down.
The rain was slowing down. There was no one sitting on the seat beside her, and she turned, leaning against the window and resting her legs on the other seat. She really did like traveling; she decided when one of her favorite songs started playing on her iPod. It never failed to surprise her that some songs had the ability to take you back to a specific time and place in memory, every single time. A beautiful movie, a carefree laugh with a friend or a first kiss.
Her smile faded as she thought of that first kiss. It was nothing like what she expected. She had expected all thought would cease and she would be sucked up into the moment. She wasn’t. She sighed as she remembered the disappointment. As she looked out the window, she wished the ride could go on for longer. The view of the countryside was beautiful, she was listening to music, and was comfortable. What more could she possibly want? Clichéd as it sounded, the journey was more enjoyable than the thought of the destination. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for what awaited yet. She was always the first to admit she never knew what it was that she wanted. But she always knew when she didn’t want something, right away. And she had known ST was not the one for her right then. It was only a matter of time before he had to be told. So she waited until she could get away. She didn’t like to stay behind and watch the mess.
It seems very selfish of me, she thought to herself, and possibly unfair to ST. But she liked to think she had helped him in her own way. He seemed to make friends a little more easily now. She shrugged away the guilt; ST was an adult and would just deal with it.
It felt so good not have invisible threads of expectations around her wrist. So this is what it feels like to be ‘unencumbered’. The word had always seemed dirty. But now she realized it simply meant she was free. Free, she said aloud as she enjoyed the taste of it. She looked out the window again. The rain drops were standing still on the window. It had stopped raining. She watched, as a drop started rolling down when the bus jerked to a stop. It joined another drop that was also making its way down slowly, and they combined forces as they picked up speed down the window. Beautiful. Life is full of simple pleasures, she told herself as she hauled her bag down. And she was having a fresh start.
August 28, 2008
Finally Free
Adarsh walked down the pavement, filled with a sense of joy. He paused to think about it. He was skeptical when everyone said ‘Time heals’, but now, he actually believed it. Days would go by and he wouldn’t even have thought of his ex-wife. He could actually say ‘ex-wife’ now without getting that hollow feeling in his chest.
‘Yes, I decidedly feel much better’ he told himself as he resumed walking. Albeit, listening to music, feeling the warmth of the sun and looking at the spring flowers on the trees certainly helped. It hadn’t been easy. He thought back to that afternoon that he had spent at his friends’ place. Nikki had made a wonderful lunch for everyone, and he was taking a nap in the backyard. His friends’ kids were playing, and he had fallen to a blissful nap.
“Aw, he looks so peaceful” he heard Sheela say.
“He does, doesn’t he? It has been rough for him” Nitin said.
He knew they were talking about him, but he hadn’t fully woken up, and tried to go back to sleep, wishing his friends would walk away.
“Did you know he is going to dance classes?” Patil added. Adarsh sensed a hidden smirk. Clearly, Patil hadn’t approved. But Adarsh didn’t care.
They all burst out laughing. Adarsh was wide awake now, his heart pounding. He knew those who eavesdropped would never hear good about themselves. But he couldn’t bring himself to let his friends know he was awake. Things had been awkward since he and Varsha split. They had all been friends since school and now they had to make sure only one of them was invited to any gathering.
With a sinking heart, he listened.
“So she leaves him, and he turns gay?” asked Sheela.
“Don’t say that, you know better! And whoever said dance classes are not for straight folks” Nitin raised a murmur of protest. Nitin was Nikki’s husband.
“Hmm maybe you haven’t known him long enough” Patil added.
"You know, I do remember Varsha insinuating something a few years ago, but I had shrugged it off…and now, I cannot remember what she was talking about” Sheela said.
There was a pause.
“I never thought they would make it through high school” Patil said. “I didn’t think she would take you up on your bet with her” Patil said.
“What do you mean?” Nitin asked.
Adarsh strained to hear, and stayed as still as he could.
“Oh, we were supposed to never ever mention it..but I guess its ok now. So Sheela, Nikki and Varsha had been friends since they were little. In high school, when they found out Adarsh had a crush on Varsha, they made a stupid bet..the details aren’t important..Adarsh still doesn’t know that the only reason Varsha went out with him was because of that bet”
“That’s awful. I hope he wasn’t awake” he heard Nitin say as they moved away.
“Oh no, I am sure he was sleeping..Varsha said he snorts every time he wakes up. It used to annoy her quite a bit” Sheela laughingly added.
Adarsh opened his eyes slowly, with a pounding heart, feeling betrayed on all fronts. The very foundation of his life for the past decade was a false one, and his friends, the ones he thought he could turn to for comfort, were not really his own.
He had joined them later that afternoon and taken his leave. And he never went back.
He found that it wasn’t all that hard to make new friends. He didn’t stop going to his dance classes. He would probably never be good at it, but at the least, he was trying something new. He thought about moving to a new place altogether and then decided against it. He was not a coward.
And so there he was, a few months later, jogging around the park in the morning as he had begun to recently. From feeling nothing for a long time, to actually feeling happy, was nothing short of exhilarating. The world felt alive with possibilities. Anything could happen now. He finally felt free.
He did a quick dance move that he learnt the previous night. And found himself on the grass.
“Do you need help?” a concerned female voice hovered around him.
“I sure do!” he said, as he took the proffered arm.
July 27, 2008
Conversation
"You know, you shouldn't do that" said Adarsh.
"Do what?"
"Make me a wimp"
"You are not a wimp. You are simply someone who got screwed!"
"Are you trying for irony here or are you simply being mean?"
"A little bit of both, I guess."
"You name me Adarsh, and then you give me a crappy life!"
"I haven't written the ending yet, you know"
"Which is why we are having this conversation."
"Now don't you go around thinking you have any kind of say in what happens to the story. In this space, I rule."
"Its my life, won't you hear me out?"
"You are a figment of my imagination."
"So be it. Play out the conversation in your head."
"So what do you want?"
"To be happy" he said simply, a faraway look on his face.
"Don't we all?"
"Yes, but this isn't the real world. You just said so. Why won't you give me a happy ending?"
"But then you will go away, and I will have to think up one more person!"
"Having a crush, are we?" with a smirk.
"Nope. I can never have a crush on someone who eats french toast with mustard."
"Hey! That is normal. Besides, you decided that, not me. Remember??" and he gives a you-are-so-loony look.
"Whatever. So, what do you want?"
"For you to be like Jane Austen.. give your characters all that they desire"
"Are you speaking for yourself or are you a spokesman for the rest of 'em?"
"Well, I didn't think of that, but why not? Except for the dead girl, I am sure everyone else would love the idea."
"No."
"What, you raised my hopes for nothing? Lets back up to what I want."
"So what is it gonna be? Revenge? A second love?"
"Hmmm I want to be different. Those options are so...normal."
"Says the guy who only wanted to be 'happy'"
"Alright. How about an adventure? Somewhere in the rain forest. Or the Antarctic. Ooh I know, like that book by Matthew Reilly, "Ice station". That would be so cool."
"But that would be repeating something that has already been done, wouldn't it? Nothing new."
"There are very few things that haven't been done before..and I am just an ordinary guy..With extraordinary dreams." he added, with a self deprecating smile.
"You know, you are kinda cute. Don't worry, I know what to do."
"You mean, you knew what you were gonna do all this while, and just pretended like I had a chance?" Adarsh said, with more than a hint of annoyance.
"How do I put this. Ah I know: Yes."
"You are evil."
"Ha ha. You don't think so."
"Says who?"
"Me. Just you wait."
A few keystrokes later...
"You, my dear Rush, are an angel." said Adarsh.
"Thats more like it."
"Do what?"
"Make me a wimp"
"You are not a wimp. You are simply someone who got screwed!"
"Are you trying for irony here or are you simply being mean?"
"A little bit of both, I guess."
"You name me Adarsh, and then you give me a crappy life!"
"I haven't written the ending yet, you know"
"Which is why we are having this conversation."
"Now don't you go around thinking you have any kind of say in what happens to the story. In this space, I rule."
"
"You are a figment of my imagination."
"So be it. Play out the conversation in your head."
"So what do you want?"
"To be happy" he said simply, a faraway look on his face.
"Don't we all?"
"Yes, but this isn't the real world. You just said so. Why won't you give me a happy ending?"
"But then you will go away, and I will have to think up one more person!"
"Having a crush, are we?" with a smirk.
"Nope. I can never have a crush on someone who eats french toast with mustard."
"Hey! That is normal. Besides, you decided that, not me. Remember??" and he gives a you-are-so-loony look.
"Whatever. So, what do you want?"
"For you to be like Jane Austen.. give your characters all that they desire"
"Are you speaking for yourself or are you a spokesman for the rest of 'em?"
"Well, I didn't think of that, but why not? Except for the dead girl, I am sure everyone else would love the idea."
"No."
"What, you raised my hopes for nothing? Lets back up to what I want."
"So what is it gonna be? Revenge? A second love?"
"Hmmm I want to be different. Those options are so...normal."
"Says the guy who only wanted to be 'happy'"
"Alright. How about an adventure? Somewhere in the rain forest. Or the Antarctic. Ooh I know, like that book by Matthew Reilly, "Ice station". That would be so cool."
"But that would be repeating something that has already been done, wouldn't it? Nothing new."
"There are very few things that haven't been done before..and I am just an ordinary guy..With extraordinary dreams." he added, with a self deprecating smile.
"You know, you are kinda cute. Don't worry, I know what to do."
"You mean, you knew what you were gonna do all this while, and just pretended like I had a chance?" Adarsh said, with more than a hint of annoyance.
"How do I put this. Ah I know: Yes."
"You are evil."
"Ha ha. You don't think so."
"Says who?"
"Me. Just you wait."
A few keystrokes later...
"You, my dear Rush, are an angel." said Adarsh.
"Thats more like it."
July 16, 2008
The Aftermath
Adarsh sat at the table, reaching for the newspaper unconsciously, and stopped short. The other chair was empty, and Varsha was not sitting across him, trying to avoid giving him the paper. She would be at his table, he thought bitterly. Drinking her morning coffee with her usual assortment of fruits. She would have her face puckered in a frown, as she tried to concentrate on the sudoku puzzle in the paper.
She had moved out almost right after he found out about her affair.
How could she?
He felt like a fool. A cuckolded husband, is probably what everyone thinks of me now. He used to think he was immune to gossip. Immune to what others thought of him. And then this!
The silent questions, the disappointment, the worried glances, the shattering of what his friends thought was 'an ideal marriage'. The worst part of it all, was the pity he saw in his friends' faces.
He so wished he could take the coward's way out. Why am I stuck with the shards of glass when it was she who broke the mirror?
And then there were those that tried to help. By setting him up on blind dates. He hadn't been on a "date" in almost fifteen years. Except of course, with Varsha. What was he supposed to talk about? How his heart was wrenched apart?
How could she?
Was it so easy to throw away what seemed like almost a lifetime of togetherness? He wanted his questions answered. But he couldn't stand the thought of seeing her and not being with her. He couldn't understand how things could change so quickly; how she could be so happy while he missed her every second of everyday!
Some of his friends tried telling him that time heals. He didn't care. He only wanted the numbness in his chest to go away. So he could start living again.
He didn't know how, but he had to, of that he was sure.
How could she?
She had moved out almost right after he found out about her affair.
How could she?
He felt like a fool. A cuckolded husband, is probably what everyone thinks of me now. He used to think he was immune to gossip. Immune to what others thought of him. And then this!
The silent questions, the disappointment, the worried glances, the shattering of what his friends thought was 'an ideal marriage'. The worst part of it all, was the pity he saw in his friends' faces.
He so wished he could take the coward's way out. Why am I stuck with the shards of glass when it was she who broke the mirror?
And then there were those that tried to help. By setting him up on blind dates. He hadn't been on a "date" in almost fifteen years. Except of course, with Varsha. What was he supposed to talk about? How his heart was wrenched apart?
How could she?
Was it so easy to throw away what seemed like almost a lifetime of togetherness? He wanted his questions answered. But he couldn't stand the thought of seeing her and not being with her. He couldn't understand how things could change so quickly; how she could be so happy while he missed her every second of everyday!
Some of his friends tried telling him that time heals. He didn't care. He only wanted the numbness in his chest to go away. So he could start living again.
He didn't know how, but he had to, of that he was sure.
How could she?
June 18, 2008
Change
I walked slowly, unwillingly, up the stairs. We had bought the first floor apartment, telling each other we would always walk up the stairs. We never did. For some reason, I wanted to take the stairs today. Because you want to delay entering the house. I froze, with my hand on the door knob. I looked around slowly. There was no one. My mind was playing tricks on me.
'Varsha and Adarsh' the door proclaimed. I cringed.
Adarsh was my high school sweetheart. We grew up together, and stayed devoted to each other, the object of derision and envy of our friends. When they started dating someone new, they would laugh at us, call us 'boring' and when they broke up, they would come crying to us, jealous that we always had each other right from the start, and wishing they could find 'true love' sooner. We reacted appropriately, ignoring them and forgiving them by turns, confident in our love.
Until now.
We married a few years after college, settled into our home, and waited to start a family. We waited five years. We tried every test, and it just wasn't meant to be. Adarsh, undaunted, started talking about adoption. Our families were aghast at first, but came around quickly to the idea. I didn't care one way or the other. I was tired of waiting, wishing. Adarsh decided I needed something to distract me.
"Yoga!" he had announced one day, convinced the positive energy would lift my spirits. I looked at his hopeful face, laughed and agreed to go to the classes. I reassured him that I could go alone, knowing he could never make it to the class with his work schedule.
Putting down my bag on the floor, I sat heavily on the sofa, and thought back to that first day.
It was the first time in ages that I was starting something without Adarsh. I was so used to being with him that I hadn't realize that we acted like we were joined at the hip, understanding now why our friends poked fun at us.
I had felt free. I hadn't expected to.
I entered the class, feeling a mix of trepidation and exhilaration. I had learnt yoga while at school, but barely remembered anything. I didn't know anyone. There were little kids, there were retirees. I smiled at everyone, feeling a little foolish. I stayed in the back, hoping I wouldn't be too clumsy and that no one will notice.
"Today, we will start with the Surya Namaskar, as usual" a frail man announced. The instructor was not surprisingly, fit and could twist his body in every imaginable way. The Surya Namaskar wasn't too bad.
"Hmmm does anyone want to try the Astavakrasana?" he posed the question to the class.
"Let me show you" and he quickly twisted both his legs to one side, lifting them off the ground, and balancing himself on his forearms, with only his palms touching the floor.
Someone gasped.
I found the whole scene hilarious, and wanted to burst out laughing. I looked around the room, searching, as always, to share the laugh. And then I remembered he wasn't with me. Before my laugh died in disappointment, I found him smiling at me, inviting me to laugh along with him. I stared, transfixed, forgetting my disappointment, forgetting everything.
"Ah, the one laughing in the back, why don't you come and show us the asana?" a voice broke into my consciousness. He winked at me, then looked at the instructor and said "Sure" and to everyone's surprise, he did.
After the class, he came over and introduced himself. His name was Vrishab. For some reason, I had failed to mention that I was married.
I just have a little crush, I will get over it. It has been a long time since I had a crush, I told myself.
I started going out for coffee or dinner right after the class, with him. Adarsh always worked late nights, and I never told him.
Three months later, I finally told Vrishab that I was married. "Married, beautiful, and she likes me. Any single man's dream" he said, sadly. I hadn't known what to say, except I couldn't let go of him.
Little things about Adarsh that I had found cute before, annoyed me now. I frowned if he plucked the morning paper out of my hand, as he always did.
"You are on a short leash these days" he had said..."Something bothering you?" he said with a concerned look.
"No, nothing. I have a headache" I said.
"You seem to be having a lot of headaches these days" he muttered under his breath. I pretended I didn't notice.
I was tired of pretending. I should decide soon. I wasn't being fair to either. I hadn't expected to fall in love again, and this was so different from the high school love Adarsh and I hadn't outgrown. I had never felt anything to be missing in our relationship before, now, I couldn't stop myself from finding holes.
The kitchen door opened. "I am making you dinner!" Adarsh poked his head out..and he looked so endearing, I pasted a smile on my face and walked to him.
"What are you making?"
"That, my dear, is a surprise" he said mysteriously and went back into the kitchen.
"Close your eyes" he ordered. "Open your mouth"
I did as he bid.
When he used his hand to put a morsel of the tempting food, I unthinkingly bit his finger.
"Hey" he shot back.
"What, don't you know I always bite your hand when you try to feed me?" I said, laughing, with a naughty inflection in my voice.
There was silence.
My eyes shot open. I found Adarsh staring at me. I knew I was wearing an expression of horror, and fear. His eyes were filled with sadness, comprehension dawning on him, of an intimate moment, not shared with him. I had never loved him more than at this moment, seeing him blamelessly looking at me, trying to understand what went wrong.. But it wouldn't be enough.
Everything would have to change. My friends, my life, everything.
"Vrishab" I said into the phone two days later, "I am free".
'Varsha and Adarsh' the door proclaimed. I cringed.
Adarsh was my high school sweetheart. We grew up together, and stayed devoted to each other, the object of derision and envy of our friends. When they started dating someone new, they would laugh at us, call us 'boring' and when they broke up, they would come crying to us, jealous that we always had each other right from the start, and wishing they could find 'true love' sooner. We reacted appropriately, ignoring them and forgiving them by turns, confident in our love.
Until now.
We married a few years after college, settled into our home, and waited to start a family. We waited five years. We tried every test, and it just wasn't meant to be. Adarsh, undaunted, started talking about adoption. Our families were aghast at first, but came around quickly to the idea. I didn't care one way or the other. I was tired of waiting, wishing. Adarsh decided I needed something to distract me.
"Yoga!" he had announced one day, convinced the positive energy would lift my spirits. I looked at his hopeful face, laughed and agreed to go to the classes. I reassured him that I could go alone, knowing he could never make it to the class with his work schedule.
Putting down my bag on the floor, I sat heavily on the sofa, and thought back to that first day.
It was the first time in ages that I was starting something without Adarsh. I was so used to being with him that I hadn't realize that we acted like we were joined at the hip, understanding now why our friends poked fun at us.
I had felt free. I hadn't expected to.
I entered the class, feeling a mix of trepidation and exhilaration. I had learnt yoga while at school, but barely remembered anything. I didn't know anyone. There were little kids, there were retirees. I smiled at everyone, feeling a little foolish. I stayed in the back, hoping I wouldn't be too clumsy and that no one will notice.
"Today, we will start with the Surya Namaskar, as usual" a frail man announced. The instructor was not surprisingly, fit and could twist his body in every imaginable way. The Surya Namaskar wasn't too bad.
"Hmmm does anyone want to try the Astavakrasana?" he posed the question to the class.
"Let me show you" and he quickly twisted both his legs to one side, lifting them off the ground, and balancing himself on his forearms, with only his palms touching the floor.
Someone gasped.
I found the whole scene hilarious, and wanted to burst out laughing. I looked around the room, searching, as always, to share the laugh. And then I remembered he wasn't with me. Before my laugh died in disappointment, I found him smiling at me, inviting me to laugh along with him. I stared, transfixed, forgetting my disappointment, forgetting everything.
"Ah, the one laughing in the back, why don't you come and show us the asana?" a voice broke into my consciousness. He winked at me, then looked at the instructor and said "Sure" and to everyone's surprise, he did.
After the class, he came over and introduced himself. His name was Vrishab. For some reason, I had failed to mention that I was married.
I just have a little crush, I will get over it. It has been a long time since I had a crush, I told myself.
I started going out for coffee or dinner right after the class, with him. Adarsh always worked late nights, and I never told him.
Three months later, I finally told Vrishab that I was married. "Married, beautiful, and she likes me. Any single man's dream" he said, sadly. I hadn't known what to say, except I couldn't let go of him.
Little things about Adarsh that I had found cute before, annoyed me now. I frowned if he plucked the morning paper out of my hand, as he always did.
"You are on a short leash these days" he had said..."Something bothering you?" he said with a concerned look.
"No, nothing. I have a headache" I said.
"You seem to be having a lot of headaches these days" he muttered under his breath. I pretended I didn't notice.
I was tired of pretending. I should decide soon. I wasn't being fair to either. I hadn't expected to fall in love again, and this was so different from the high school love Adarsh and I hadn't outgrown. I had never felt anything to be missing in our relationship before, now, I couldn't stop myself from finding holes.
The kitchen door opened. "I am making you dinner!" Adarsh poked his head out..and he looked so endearing, I pasted a smile on my face and walked to him.
"What are you making?"
"That, my dear, is a surprise" he said mysteriously and went back into the kitchen.
"Close your eyes" he ordered. "Open your mouth"
I did as he bid.
When he used his hand to put a morsel of the tempting food, I unthinkingly bit his finger.
"Hey" he shot back.
"What, don't you know I always bite your hand when you try to feed me?" I said, laughing, with a naughty inflection in my voice.
There was silence.
My eyes shot open. I found Adarsh staring at me. I knew I was wearing an expression of horror, and fear. His eyes were filled with sadness, comprehension dawning on him, of an intimate moment, not shared with him. I had never loved him more than at this moment, seeing him blamelessly looking at me, trying to understand what went wrong.. But it wouldn't be enough.
Everything would have to change. My friends, my life, everything.
"Vrishab" I said into the phone two days later, "I am free".
June 14, 2008
Hope
Her eyes blinked open. Resolutely, she shut them closed. Intuitively, even before her mind began thinking, she knew that she did not want to wake up. And then her brain caught up with her body's reflexes and she opened her eyes in horror. The stark reality of her sister's illness weighed on her, tying her to her bed. She had to make a super human effort to throw away the shroud of darkness and lift herself from bed. The want in her, to go back to bed, avoid reality, was so tempting. If only she could.
She went into Shloka's room. Her sister was sleeping on the bed, peacefully. Or so it seemed. The cancerous cells in her bones were furiously at work, chipping away. Arthi leaned against the door frame, and thought back to three days ago, when Shloka had called her at work.
"Will you go to the doctor's with me?" she had asked.
"Of course I will. Is it the dietitian again? How is your new diet working out for you?"
"I have lost a lot of weight akka" she said, in a quivering voice.
Arthi was surprised. Shloka hadn't called her 'akka' in years. Something was wrong, she was sure of that.
"What is it, Shloka? What aren't you telling me?" she said, her voice rising in fear. She saw Tina, her colleague making a shushing motion and lowered her voice. "What is wrong?" she whispered.
"Please come to Manipal Hospital at 1. Dr Rao's office" Shloka answered and hung up.
Arthi felt bewildered as she cradled the receiver back in its place. I should have visited her more often, she silently berated herself. Ever since she had gotten married, her life became a whirlwind of activity, revolving around Akash. She thought back to her single life, the way she cursed her friends for not being in touch after they had gotten married. And then she ended up doing the same thing!
Of course, she tried to meet Shloka at least once a week. But it was not the same as living in the same house with her little sister. She smiled at the thought of the monkeying around that Shloka was always upto, her raucous laughter, and the constant joy she was to be with. She could light up a room the instant she waltzed in. And now this, Arthi thought back to the visit to the doctor.
"We had a biopsy done on Shloka's thigh bone" Dr Rao had tried to bring her up to speed after she got over the shock of seeing Shloka. She, who always had had difficulty controlling her chubbiness, was looking so skinny she could have walked the ramp wearing a Parisian dress.
"When?" Arthi managed to blurt out. How long had it been since she last saw her sister, her mind counted back, furiously. It had been a month. How could so much have changed since then?
"Last week" Dr Rao replied. He was an oncologist, and a family friend. He had met Shloka at a party three weeks back and saw the tell tale signs and asked her to come in to his office. She had taken a week to muster up the courage while she saw her body fail her. And she had told no one.
Arthi was hurt by that. They were always so close, and could complete each other's sentences. And she hadn't told her!
She waited for Dr Rao to continue, waited for the walls to fall in on her, knowing she couldn't possibly do anything to change things.
"I am sorry princesses" he said, going back to their childhood nicknames. "Its malignant. We should start treatment right away...Do you want me to tell your parents?" he asked, beseechingly, asking them without saying so, to understand that this pained him too, and he was only the messenger.
"Thanks Uncle, please, will you tell them?" Arthi said, taking charge of the situation. She always did. Their parents were away, in Europe, visiting friends. She thought back to her parents, and how long it had been since they had taken time off, what was waiting for them when they returned, and changed her mind.
"No uncle, lets not tell them now. We will wait until they return. They are coming back next week, anyway."
She turned to look at Shloka. She looked so detached, and so alone, the disease already bringing up walls between her and the world, and she fought back a sob. She crushed her in a hug, letting her know that she was there. Shloka started crying "Why me?"
Why, indeed. You always think that bad things happen to other people. You read about them in newspapers, with mild disinterest, confident that it would never happen to you. Until lightning struck you instead.
Slowly, in just a few days, the hospital became the center of their life. Akash and Arthi took Shloka into their home. When she went out of her house, Arthi stared at everyone, envious of their normal lives, and their little worries. How could life go on? she wondered, as she grappled with the monumental axe dangling over their happiness, threatening to fall down any minute.
And they hoped, constantly, that Shloka would get better. Hoped everything would go back to being normal, Arthi thought, as she looked at her little sister.
"Are you hoping if you stare at me long enough, the cancer will go away?" Shloka muttered, from the bed.
Arthi laughed. And felt guilty for doing so. Every laugh, every smile was cut short by remembrance of the situation.
And they resumed their constant stance, of hoping.
She went into Shloka's room. Her sister was sleeping on the bed, peacefully. Or so it seemed. The cancerous cells in her bones were furiously at work, chipping away. Arthi leaned against the door frame, and thought back to three days ago, when Shloka had called her at work.
"Will you go to the doctor's with me?" she had asked.
"Of course I will. Is it the dietitian again? How is your new diet working out for you?"
"I have lost a lot of weight akka" she said, in a quivering voice.
Arthi was surprised. Shloka hadn't called her 'akka' in years. Something was wrong, she was sure of that.
"What is it, Shloka? What aren't you telling me?" she said, her voice rising in fear. She saw Tina, her colleague making a shushing motion and lowered her voice. "What is wrong?" she whispered.
"Please come to Manipal Hospital at 1. Dr Rao's office" Shloka answered and hung up.
Arthi felt bewildered as she cradled the receiver back in its place. I should have visited her more often, she silently berated herself. Ever since she had gotten married, her life became a whirlwind of activity, revolving around Akash. She thought back to her single life, the way she cursed her friends for not being in touch after they had gotten married. And then she ended up doing the same thing!
Of course, she tried to meet Shloka at least once a week. But it was not the same as living in the same house with her little sister. She smiled at the thought of the monkeying around that Shloka was always upto, her raucous laughter, and the constant joy she was to be with. She could light up a room the instant she waltzed in. And now this, Arthi thought back to the visit to the doctor.
"We had a biopsy done on Shloka's thigh bone" Dr Rao had tried to bring her up to speed after she got over the shock of seeing Shloka. She, who always had had difficulty controlling her chubbiness, was looking so skinny she could have walked the ramp wearing a Parisian dress.
"When?" Arthi managed to blurt out. How long had it been since she last saw her sister, her mind counted back, furiously. It had been a month. How could so much have changed since then?
"Last week" Dr Rao replied. He was an oncologist, and a family friend. He had met Shloka at a party three weeks back and saw the tell tale signs and asked her to come in to his office. She had taken a week to muster up the courage while she saw her body fail her. And she had told no one.
Arthi was hurt by that. They were always so close, and could complete each other's sentences. And she hadn't told her!
She waited for Dr Rao to continue, waited for the walls to fall in on her, knowing she couldn't possibly do anything to change things.
"I am sorry princesses" he said, going back to their childhood nicknames. "Its malignant. We should start treatment right away...Do you want me to tell your parents?" he asked, beseechingly, asking them without saying so, to understand that this pained him too, and he was only the messenger.
"Thanks Uncle, please, will you tell them?" Arthi said, taking charge of the situation. She always did. Their parents were away, in Europe, visiting friends. She thought back to her parents, and how long it had been since they had taken time off, what was waiting for them when they returned, and changed her mind.
"No uncle, lets not tell them now. We will wait until they return. They are coming back next week, anyway."
She turned to look at Shloka. She looked so detached, and so alone, the disease already bringing up walls between her and the world, and she fought back a sob. She crushed her in a hug, letting her know that she was there. Shloka started crying "Why me?"
Why, indeed. You always think that bad things happen to other people. You read about them in newspapers, with mild disinterest, confident that it would never happen to you. Until lightning struck you instead.
Slowly, in just a few days, the hospital became the center of their life. Akash and Arthi took Shloka into their home. When she went out of her house, Arthi stared at everyone, envious of their normal lives, and their little worries. How could life go on? she wondered, as she grappled with the monumental axe dangling over their happiness, threatening to fall down any minute.
And they hoped, constantly, that Shloka would get better. Hoped everything would go back to being normal, Arthi thought, as she looked at her little sister.
"Are you hoping if you stare at me long enough, the cancer will go away?" Shloka muttered, from the bed.
Arthi laughed. And felt guilty for doing so. Every laugh, every smile was cut short by remembrance of the situation.
And they resumed their constant stance, of hoping.
May 29, 2008
Fury
I looked at the sky. It was sunny, perfect after a long bout of rain. It was one of those days when you know nothing could possibly go wrong. One of those days when you have a spring in your step, and a song on your lips..even if you are not in love. I looked at my phone. It beeped. ‘I am ready’, said my friend. ‘Finally’, I SMSed back. Suraj was my best friend. And he was always late. We wanted to go eat the Chicken Kebabs at this roadside shop in Sheshadripuram.
‘Rupa, come and eat dinner’ mom called out.
‘Ma, I told you, I am going out with Suraj’
‘Not to that chicken kebab place again!’ Mom always knew what I was up to.
‘Of course not, we are going to that new vegetarian restaurant on Church Street’ I tossed back.
‘Alright, stop lying, go get your chicken kebab’ she said as she shut the door behind me.
Suraj had his fancy bike with him. He would never listen to anyone who said that the cops always caught the fancy bikes as would the thugs on the streets. His girlfriend was the only one that didn’t complain about the bike, and only because she was jealous of it. I always did try to remember each one’s names, but the latest one was probably called Nikita. Or was it Swati? I forget which.
‘Hey, what’s the name of your latest?’ I asked him.
‘Ouch, that hurt! She has lasted two months you know; it’s time for you to remember the name!’
‘I am proud of you. So what was the name again?’ I asked, as we sped away.
The chicken kebabs, as usual, were delicious. But there was something in the air that I couldn’t place. ‘Not rain again’ I groaned, as Suraj started sniffing the air too.
‘Its not rain memsaab’, the kebab guy screamed as he stood still. ‘Its them! They are coming after us! Run’ he said, as he took off into the crowd. His cart stayed the way he left it, with bits of half cooked chicken floating in the oil. The chutney he used had spilled a little into the oil, and went out in a blue flame as it died away in the oil. I noticed a yellow leaf dance from above the tree onto the cart. Everything seemed to happen so slowly. Oh, so slowly. That nanosecond between the kebab guy running away and realization stretched forever. Suraj made a painful grab at my wrist, and yanked me, as I stood, trying to comprehend.
I saw a woman in a pink sari run across the road, screaming madly. She had tiny flowers pitifully embroidered in what she probably hoped was the latest fashion. And now she was running away. Away from what, I wondered, as my brain told me I had to run, and Suraj tried to make me.
And then I saw them. With flaming torches, screaming inaudible phrases, they ran, with a purpose. I do not know who they were, nor do I know their cause. The animal fury on their faces was enough to have me paralyzed on the ground. To see so much anger, to smell the hatred, even from a hundred yards away, was terrifying. Contrast that with the fear on Suraj’s face, and you could see the entire breadth of the human experience.
‘Rupa!’ Suraj screamed into my ear as he revved up the bike. ‘Lets GO!’
I climbed onto his bike, scared for my life, shattered that our innocence was so visibly tainted, as I saw the mob attack a hapless passerby. They knew not his name, being murdered mercilessly by strangers would be his only claim to fame. I was shocked at myself, that I could think these thoughts as everyone’s lives lay in jeopardy. That is the curse of the brain, that it never stops thinking.
I did not read the newspapers the next morning. I forbid anyone from talking to me about it. Yes, we did manage to get to safety, thanks to Suraj’s fancy bike. What I cannot believe is the injustice that man is capable of, what we can do to each other, more harmful than a vengeful God.
Surely He did not intend it this way.
‘Rupa, come and eat dinner’ mom called out.
‘Ma, I told you, I am going out with Suraj’
‘Not to that chicken kebab place again!’ Mom always knew what I was up to.
‘Of course not, we are going to that new vegetarian restaurant on Church Street’ I tossed back.
‘Alright, stop lying, go get your chicken kebab’ she said as she shut the door behind me.
Suraj had his fancy bike with him. He would never listen to anyone who said that the cops always caught the fancy bikes as would the thugs on the streets. His girlfriend was the only one that didn’t complain about the bike, and only because she was jealous of it. I always did try to remember each one’s names, but the latest one was probably called Nikita. Or was it Swati? I forget which.
‘Hey, what’s the name of your latest?’ I asked him.
‘Ouch, that hurt! She has lasted two months you know; it’s time for you to remember the name!’
‘I am proud of you. So what was the name again?’ I asked, as we sped away.
The chicken kebabs, as usual, were delicious. But there was something in the air that I couldn’t place. ‘Not rain again’ I groaned, as Suraj started sniffing the air too.
‘Its not rain memsaab’, the kebab guy screamed as he stood still. ‘Its them! They are coming after us! Run’ he said, as he took off into the crowd. His cart stayed the way he left it, with bits of half cooked chicken floating in the oil. The chutney he used had spilled a little into the oil, and went out in a blue flame as it died away in the oil. I noticed a yellow leaf dance from above the tree onto the cart. Everything seemed to happen so slowly. Oh, so slowly. That nanosecond between the kebab guy running away and realization stretched forever. Suraj made a painful grab at my wrist, and yanked me, as I stood, trying to comprehend.
I saw a woman in a pink sari run across the road, screaming madly. She had tiny flowers pitifully embroidered in what she probably hoped was the latest fashion. And now she was running away. Away from what, I wondered, as my brain told me I had to run, and Suraj tried to make me.
And then I saw them. With flaming torches, screaming inaudible phrases, they ran, with a purpose. I do not know who they were, nor do I know their cause. The animal fury on their faces was enough to have me paralyzed on the ground. To see so much anger, to smell the hatred, even from a hundred yards away, was terrifying. Contrast that with the fear on Suraj’s face, and you could see the entire breadth of the human experience.
‘Rupa!’ Suraj screamed into my ear as he revved up the bike. ‘Lets GO!’
I climbed onto his bike, scared for my life, shattered that our innocence was so visibly tainted, as I saw the mob attack a hapless passerby. They knew not his name, being murdered mercilessly by strangers would be his only claim to fame. I was shocked at myself, that I could think these thoughts as everyone’s lives lay in jeopardy. That is the curse of the brain, that it never stops thinking.
I did not read the newspapers the next morning. I forbid anyone from talking to me about it. Yes, we did manage to get to safety, thanks to Suraj’s fancy bike. What I cannot believe is the injustice that man is capable of, what we can do to each other, more harmful than a vengeful God.
Surely He did not intend it this way.
May 13, 2008
Closure
She was bored. She picked a nondescript bar, she didn't want to run into anyone.
"Its you", a surprised voice said beside her. It was him. She hadn't seen him in many years.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Work. You?"
"The same."
And they drank. It was almost as before.
The next morning, she woke up with a smile on her face. She hadn't done so in a really long while. It was just like it was before.
"So what now?" he asked.
"Nothing. I love my husband, and I am sure you love your wife. In a few years you will have kids, and you will name your first born after me" She smiled. "I can't do that. The doctor said we will never have kids."
"You can go back to pretending like this never happened?"he asked. "I thought only men could do that!"
"Thats where you are wrong love, don't ever underestimate me"
"I have never done that, you know"
"I know." She said, packing up her purse. "Think of this as closure" and she shut the door behind her.
***
Two months later his friend called him up. "She asked for your number"
He got a call the next day.
"I'm pregnant"
"Its you", a surprised voice said beside her. It was him. She hadn't seen him in many years.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Work. You?"
"The same."
And they drank. It was almost as before.
The next morning, she woke up with a smile on her face. She hadn't done so in a really long while. It was just like it was before.
"So what now?" he asked.
"Nothing. I love my husband, and I am sure you love your wife. In a few years you will have kids, and you will name your first born after me" She smiled. "I can't do that. The doctor said we will never have kids."
"You can go back to pretending like this never happened?"he asked. "I thought only men could do that!"
"Thats where you are wrong love, don't ever underestimate me"
"I have never done that, you know"
"I know." She said, packing up her purse. "Think of this as closure" and she shut the door behind her.
***
Two months later his friend called him up. "She asked for your number"
He got a call the next day.
"I'm pregnant"
May 10, 2008
30 Questions
Looks like the only way I write for my blog is when I am tagged :(
Well, I do write still, but its for my school's magazine and that stuff really cannot be online.
1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER:
The Forbidden Kingdom
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
The House on Mango Street. Would like to read 'Persuasion'
3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Used to be Chess. Now, nothing, really.
4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Well, the Robber Barons. Thats my school's student publication, and the only one I read regularly.
5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
A newly painted house, the grass after the first rains, the smell of newly cooked food.
6. FAVORITE SOUND?
Laughter. And beats/rhythms in songs that you can dance to.
7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Missing something, anything.
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?
Usually it is "I am hungy", and goes on to the things I have to do that day. Last week, it was 8.15, and I woke up thinking "Shit, I have an exam at 8.30". I went half hour late, but managed to do just fine.
9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
KFC's Zinger Burger
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
I would like to grow up first.
11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D...?
Retire and write.
12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
How fast is fast really?
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No. But you are welcome to give me one. I left mine at home.
14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
What? Really, who made these questions? I don't mind storms as long as I am comfortably warm somewhere.
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
I don't have my own 'car' yet. But I do prefer my dad's second car over his first.
16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Mango Lassi. Cold Chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate chips on top. Tough choice.
17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD .....
clean my room and do all the things I have been putting off for so long.
Actually I would like to write for my blog too if I had the time!
18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
Yes. As long as it is cooked with spices.
19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
I have had my hair dyed Burgundy. Any color is so tempting, I would love to say Blue, not that I ever will get that color ;)
20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.
Bangalore, Salem, Pittsburgh, Coimbatore
21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Tennis. Soccer during the FIFA cup. and Cricket, the last few overs, usually. My classmates will be upset if I don't mention the Steelers and Penguins. (Haven't really watched em tho)
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
She's the best!
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Seriously, why do you want to know?
24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Sure. A thinner nose and straight hair please. :)
25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Night owl, no doubt.
26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Over easy, with salt and pepper sprinkled please.
27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
My bed :) Ideally, it would be any place near the sea!
28. FAVORITE PIE?
Pineapple pie. Apple pie will do just fine. Vegetable pie without the brinjal(eggplant).
29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Butterscotch.
30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
Can't think of anyone who would.
Well, I do write still, but its for my school's magazine and that stuff really cannot be online.
1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER:
The Forbidden Kingdom
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
The House on Mango Street. Would like to read 'Persuasion'
3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Used to be Chess. Now, nothing, really.
4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Well, the Robber Barons. Thats my school's student publication, and the only one I read regularly.
5. FAVORITE SMELLS?
A newly painted house, the grass after the first rains, the smell of newly cooked food.
6. FAVORITE SOUND?
Laughter. And beats/rhythms in songs that you can dance to.
7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Missing something, anything.
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?
Usually it is "I am hungy", and goes on to the things I have to do that day. Last week, it was 8.15, and I woke up thinking "Shit, I have an exam at 8.30". I went half hour late, but managed to do just fine.
9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
KFC's Zinger Burger
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
I would like to grow up first.
11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I'D...?
Retire and write.
12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST?
How fast is fast really?
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No. But you are welcome to give me one. I left mine at home.
14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY?
What? Really, who made these questions? I don't mind storms as long as I am comfortably warm somewhere.
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
I don't have my own 'car' yet. But I do prefer my dad's second car over his first.
16. FAVORITE DRINK?
Mango Lassi. Cold Chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate chips on top. Tough choice.
17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD .....
clean my room and do all the things I have been putting off for so long.
Actually I would like to write for my blog too if I had the time!
18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
Yes. As long as it is cooked with spices.
19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
I have had my hair dyed Burgundy. Any color is so tempting, I would love to say Blue, not that I ever will get that color ;)
20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.
Bangalore, Salem, Pittsburgh, Coimbatore
21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Tennis. Soccer during the FIFA cup. and Cricket, the last few overs, usually. My classmates will be upset if I don't mention the Steelers and Penguins. (Haven't really watched em tho)
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
She's the best!
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Seriously, why do you want to know?
24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Sure. A thinner nose and straight hair please. :)
25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL?
Night owl, no doubt.
26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Over easy, with salt and pepper sprinkled please.
27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
My bed :) Ideally, it would be any place near the sea!
28. FAVORITE PIE?
Pineapple pie. Apple pie will do just fine. Vegetable pie without the brinjal(eggplant).
29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Butterscotch.
30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
Can't think of anyone who would.
January 18, 2008
Ten things I'd like to do before I turn 35 & Ten things I miss about my life right now.
Dodo tagged me.. Btw Dodo, I am confused too, so you are not alone!
Before I turn 35, I want to
1) Make lots of money
2) If 1) then plan to retire immediately
3) Have learnt Ballroom dancing... the foxtrot, the waltz et al
4) Eat in a bistro in Paris, see the inside of a Pyramid
5) Still be dancing
6) Write a book
7) Rung in New Year's at Times Square.. but does anyone really go out in the crowd? ;)
8) Take part in a marathon (not that, you ditty mind).. a biking race or even a protest walk (or maybe not)
9) Have had an extra marital affair. Apparently, its all the rage
10) Grow up. Naah, Not really
So what do I miss?
1) Income
2) My family and friends from back home..
3) A life which did not have schedules penciled into calendars
4) A car
5) Coconut chutney
6) Warm weather (Its snowing here)
That is all I can think of.. Must I tag someone? Ah, Rahul and Anu.
Before I turn 35, I want to
1) Make lots of money
2) If 1) then plan to retire immediately
3) Have learnt Ballroom dancing... the foxtrot, the waltz et al
4) Eat in a bistro in Paris, see the inside of a Pyramid
5) Still be dancing
6) Write a book
7) Rung in New Year's at Times Square.. but does anyone really go out in the crowd? ;)
8) Take part in a marathon (not that, you ditty mind).. a biking race or even a protest walk (or maybe not)
9) Have had an extra marital affair. Apparently, its all the rage
10) Grow up. Naah, Not really
So what do I miss?
1) Income
2) My family and friends from back home..
3) A life which did not have schedules penciled into calendars
4) A car
5) Coconut chutney
6) Warm weather (Its snowing here)
That is all I can think of.. Must I tag someone? Ah, Rahul and Anu.
November 16, 2007
The AIA Syndrome
I have Acquired Immunity to Alarms (AIA). To be more specific, I do not hear the alarm on my phone anymore, when it buzzes off at 7 in the morning (maybe it has something to do with the fact that it’s dark outside). Apparently, I am not the only one suffering from AIA. I have decided that I will fight the disease. For what joy, I do not know.
First, I should assess the motivation to get up at that unearthly hour. The fact that I have paid through my nose (and possibly those of my grandchildren) in lieu of tuition fees should be motivation enough. But from Managerial Economics, I have learnt that the tuition fees should be treated as sunk costs and so should not affect my decision (to get up early in the morning).
So motivation goes flying out of the window. Don’t you think Student Services should start a Wake-Up alarm service? But that probably wouldn’t work. If you have AIA, you probably have AIC (Acquired Immunity to Calls) as well.
Am sure each of you finds at least ONE person in class really, really, annoying. What has that got to do with AIA, you ask. I will get to it in a minute. Imagine that the Student Services sends out your annoying person to wake you up. Am sure this person is definitely not the one you want to see first thing in the morning. You can rest assured your day will spiral downhill after that.
The threat of seeing this person so early in the morning would probably tune your biological clock into waking you up right on the dot at 7. And you don’t need alarms anymore!
I will let you know how that plan works out.October 29, 2007
October 13, 2007
The Things We Do
- You talk to someone in the hallway and all you can think of during the conversation is ‘hell, I don’t know his name!’, and the minute you are done, you pull up the photo roster and look for the name.
- You see people sleeping in class/ presentation, you take pictures of them (Suraj has been taking pics, be warned!) or you elbow them awake. Erfan found that I have a pretty strong elbow. Sending mails to the person saying ‘Wake up!’ works too. You would think that a person who is dozing wouldn’t check their mail, but Tuesday did – and it kept her awake!
- You find that you are spending so much time in the study rooms that it feels like home – and your housemates don’t recognize you anymore.
- After taking the probability quiz, you go around telling people who are studying, “It doesn’t matter, don’t even bother”. Someone was trying to calculate the probability of getting an average score without doing any studying and marking the answers randomly.
- MD found people pointing and laughing at him after Neha used his pics in her Communication class discussion on Bad First Impressions.
- You like the EIS simulation from Managing Organizations so much that you get addicted to it and treat it like a video game.
- Whenever you are hungry, you go check out the free food at the Masters Lounge before you go anywhere else and are disappointed when you don’t find any.
- You check Blackboard every five minutes after a quiz to check out the average scores go up or down as more people take it. You may hear cheers if a crowd collects.
- You have a stack of the Wall Street Journal in your room.
- You feel like you are in a time warp, and it seems like the mini is stretching forever. And you don’t believe its only been 6 weeks.
- You are tired of eating the corporate presentation sandwiches.
- You are growing very fond of excel. You draw beautiful tables calculating all kinds of distributions to use in the quiz, and you find that they never are.
- You are surprised to find that you still haven’t met everyone in your year.
- You feel left out that you are the only one who hasn’t spammed the tepper09 mailing group yet.
- You go to a party after doing the case competition and you fall asleep on their floor.
- You never thought it could be so difficult to coordinate schedules with your group.
- You think of writing articles for RB in bullet points coz otherwise no one will read it.
September 14, 2007
What was I thinking?
When my friend and I started orientation, her uncle, a tepper alum, told us that we will have a ‘What was I thinking?’ moment sometime during the first year of the MBA.
We laughed.
“Yeah, I have experienced that already, when I was washing the dustbin yesterday after we moved into the house”, said moi. As you can tell, I have never done any chore at home. Let us not talk about my cooking skills either.
“Oh no, you will have an academic ‘What was I thinking?’ moment” said uncle.
Into the first week, I looked at the required reading for communication, and wondered if I had reached that moment yet (take your minds out of the gutter, please). We *only* had 8 chapters to read from the text book and seven from the course packet.
And the profs kept saying ‘It will get worse’.
I decided to take part in the case competition (5 Guys). Got back home very late on Thursday, and realized that I had to be there at school by 8 the next morning. The next morning, bleary eyed, I walked to the bus stop, remembering my dad’s question, “Will you be able to give up on your nine-hour sleep time?”
Apparently I can. Am not saying I am pleased to discover that!
Next task on the list was the probability quiz. About half hour into the test, I had given up on about 7 of the 10 questions. I looked around and saw my friend wearing an “I am so screwed” expression on his face. Yeah, he was taking the test as well. No collaboration, mind you (I feel compelled to add that!)
Had I reached my ‘what was I thinking?’ moment yet? Well, I tried all the questions again, and I survived to tell the tale. So maybe not.
Am sure all of you have had ‘What was I thinking?’ moments in your lives (Waking up next to someone you won’t be caught dead with, a huge hangover, bungee jumping, maybe? Disclaimer: Examples are not personal experiences :))
My question to you is, have you had your MBA ‘What was I thinking?’ moment yet?
*************
Just got this one published in the school magazine :)
We laughed.
“Yeah, I have experienced that already, when I was washing the dustbin yesterday after we moved into the house”, said moi. As you can tell, I have never done any chore at home. Let us not talk about my cooking skills either.
“Oh no, you will have an academic ‘What was I thinking?’ moment” said uncle.
Into the first week, I looked at the required reading for communication, and wondered if I had reached that moment yet (take your minds out of the gutter, please). We *only* had 8 chapters to read from the text book and seven from the course packet.
And the profs kept saying ‘It will get worse’.
I decided to take part in the case competition (5 Guys). Got back home very late on Thursday, and realized that I had to be there at school by 8 the next morning. The next morning, bleary eyed, I walked to the bus stop, remembering my dad’s question, “Will you be able to give up on your nine-hour sleep time?”
Apparently I can. Am not saying I am pleased to discover that!
Next task on the list was the probability quiz. About half hour into the test, I had given up on about 7 of the 10 questions. I looked around and saw my friend wearing an “I am so screwed” expression on his face. Yeah, he was taking the test as well. No collaboration, mind you (I feel compelled to add that!)
Had I reached my ‘what was I thinking?’ moment yet? Well, I tried all the questions again, and I survived to tell the tale. So maybe not.
Am sure all of you have had ‘What was I thinking?’ moments in your lives (Waking up next to someone you won’t be caught dead with, a huge hangover, bungee jumping, maybe? Disclaimer: Examples are not personal experiences :))
My question to you is, have you had your MBA ‘What was I thinking?’ moment yet?
*************
Just got this one published in the school magazine :)
July 16, 2007
From Tipu's Time....
Tipu's fort in Devanahalli..
This obviously was taken from the back seat of a car :)
There is a temple the whole family (all relatives) go to, of Lord Venugopalaswamy(mane-devru, family-god, kula-daivam as u call it). My grandfather was a patron of this temple (and some others too). This stone temple is 500 years old, and is govt property..
The Entrance..
The Entrance..
There is some restoration work awaiting govt approval that will begin shortly. The richest man in Devanahalli is spending 50 lakhs on each temple in devanahalli (there are lots).. Do you have that kinda money :) ?
View inside the temple.. The marble that was put in by my uncle will be removed and replaced with granite now(acc to d pujari).. I am not uploading the pictures of the diety coz I suspect thats illegal :D Therez Venugopalaswamy with his two consorts, and a Lakshmi idol and a Narasimha idol in separate chambers. There is a procession every year, sponsored by my grandparents children (hehe my uncle and aunts), and the temple's ornaments and jewels are brought from the govt registry(or watever) along with police escort and used for decoration. Sounds cool eh! So much history..
June 07, 2007
How do you say GoodBye?
Nisha sat staring out of a window.
"I feel so numb', she thought, rubbing her hands on her arms, in an effort to keep warm. She didn't know how she managed to get through the funeral. There were people around her, friends and family, but she couldn't remember who was there with her. All she knew was that her sister was dead. Not coming back.
She still felt detached, unable to believe it. Whenever the door opened, she turned eagerly, half expecting Tania to walk in. And then there would be the gut-wrenching realization that that would never happen. She didn't know if she had come to terms with Tania's death. It felt so unreal. She had watched, as everyone cried around her, as though caught in a limbo, and seeing things in slow motion.
"This can't be happening", she kept telling herself. She tried to remember her last conversation with Tania. Nothing came to mind.
"I could'nt even say Good-Bye"
She stopped believing in God. And yet, only visiting the temple everyday brought her some solace. She had returned to her flat.
Vishal visited everyday, bringing her food. If he hadn't forced her to eat, she wouldn't have survived for so long, she thought furiously. She didn't know who had called him, maybe it was Tina. She hadn't bothered to ask.
Nothing mattered anymore. Her sister was no more.
Nothing mattered anymore.
"I feel so numb', she thought, rubbing her hands on her arms, in an effort to keep warm. She didn't know how she managed to get through the funeral. There were people around her, friends and family, but she couldn't remember who was there with her. All she knew was that her sister was dead. Not coming back.
She still felt detached, unable to believe it. Whenever the door opened, she turned eagerly, half expecting Tania to walk in. And then there would be the gut-wrenching realization that that would never happen. She didn't know if she had come to terms with Tania's death. It felt so unreal. She had watched, as everyone cried around her, as though caught in a limbo, and seeing things in slow motion.
"This can't be happening", she kept telling herself. She tried to remember her last conversation with Tania. Nothing came to mind.
"I could'nt even say Good-Bye"
She stopped believing in God. And yet, only visiting the temple everyday brought her some solace. She had returned to her flat.
Vishal visited everyday, bringing her food. If he hadn't forced her to eat, she wouldn't have survived for so long, she thought furiously. She didn't know who had called him, maybe it was Tina. She hadn't bothered to ask.
Nothing mattered anymore. Her sister was no more.
Nothing mattered anymore.
May 05, 2007
April 20, 2007
Dont want people sitting next to you on the bus? Read on!
i m gonna give you one very important insight today... most of you must b travelling in buses.. and these buses are meant for other s/w engrs like us, same company or different company (depending on company bus/ tech park bus ) .. and u may have discovered that you dont quite like it when ppl sit next to you.. especially since therez looooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddsssssss of empty seats somewher behind or in front ;)
so i m gonna give 'gyaan' on how to avoid ppl sittin next to ya..
whenever d bus stops, you can peer out of your window like you have discovered somethin really really interesting outside... and if d person stands next to your seat, pay no attention..
and make sure you carry atleast 2-3 bags (shoppers stop covers are good for this purpose ;) ) and place it on d next seat.. so if someone does hav patience and waits for you to turn away from d window, you can give an apologetic look and say, i ll carry two bags, can you please hav one wit you till we reach ?? chances are, they would move to a different seat..
another thing you can do.. sleep.. and sleep like u are gonna fall onto the second seat any minute.. nobody wants to sit next to someone who is gonna fall on them all d time.. hehe unless they want you to !!
final tip --> wash your hair frequently.. and when someone gets on d bus, make sure u start shaking ur hair vigorously , as if you are tryin to get all d drops of water out.. hehe no one will want to sit next to a fountain.. so you are definitely safe..
after all this if someone makes d mistake of sitting next to you, make sure u occupy as much space as possible or poke with ur elbow.. hehe they wil get away !! (these are restricted to two-seater seats..)
but if you spot someone u like and know hehe ..make sure u dont do any of d above, look up wit a smile on ur face so they don miss you.. and when they come near ur seat, move all d bags away so they are kinda forced to sit on d seat u emptied for them!!! let me know if this works for ya hehe!
*****
An extract from one of my CnH mails :)
so i m gonna give 'gyaan' on how to avoid ppl sittin next to ya..
whenever d bus stops, you can peer out of your window like you have discovered somethin really really interesting outside... and if d person stands next to your seat, pay no attention..
and make sure you carry atleast 2-3 bags (shoppers stop covers are good for this purpose ;) ) and place it on d next seat.. so if someone does hav patience and waits for you to turn away from d window, you can give an apologetic look and say, i ll carry two bags, can you please hav one wit you till we reach ?? chances are, they would move to a different seat..
another thing you can do.. sleep.. and sleep like u are gonna fall onto the second seat any minute.. nobody wants to sit next to someone who is gonna fall on them all d time.. hehe unless they want you to !!
final tip --> wash your hair frequently.. and when someone gets on d bus, make sure u start shaking ur hair vigorously , as if you are tryin to get all d drops of water out.. hehe no one will want to sit next to a fountain.. so you are definitely safe..
after all this if someone makes d mistake of sitting next to you, make sure u occupy as much space as possible or poke with ur elbow.. hehe they wil get away !! (these are restricted to two-seater seats..)
but if you spot someone u like and know hehe ..make sure u dont do any of d above, look up wit a smile on ur face so they don miss you.. and when they come near ur seat, move all d bags away so they are kinda forced to sit on d seat u emptied for them!!! let me know if this works for ya hehe!
*****
An extract from one of my CnH mails :)
April 17, 2007
April 12, 2007
Politically incorrect
We were going to a restaurant the other day, and D mentioned seeing a documentary on NatGeo about Akbar. He had a harem of 300 wives. Fool said that must be why Agra is full of Akbar's descendants.
D then said that she heard from someone that there is a 1000 year plan to convert India to Christianity/ Muslim faith. I was appalled, initially. But then I remembered that India's invaders have been trying for centuries now and have failed. Fool piped up with, true, but the backward sections of the Hindu society are systematically being converted by one religion, and the other, well, breeds.
And there is the little matter of no-conversion-to-hinduism-is-possible. Well, if our forefathers with all their foresight thought that wise, it must hold good!
The next day I read an article in The Week, which spoke about atrocities against Dalits in TN. It is inhuman, what people can do to each other. Within the same faith that too. The various castes in Hinduism, Shias Vs Sunnis, Protestants Vs Catholics. God didn't intend it that way, for sure.
I don't think we can make a major difference. But we could contribute to the NGOs that try to make a difference to the lives of the oppressed. You could look up 'Scum of the earth' in The Week dated April 8, 2007.
D then said that she heard from someone that there is a 1000 year plan to convert India to Christianity/ Muslim faith. I was appalled, initially. But then I remembered that India's invaders have been trying for centuries now and have failed. Fool piped up with, true, but the backward sections of the Hindu society are systematically being converted by one religion, and the other, well, breeds.
And there is the little matter of no-conversion-to-hinduism-is-possible. Well, if our forefathers with all their foresight thought that wise, it must hold good!
The next day I read an article in The Week, which spoke about atrocities against Dalits in TN. It is inhuman, what people can do to each other. Within the same faith that too. The various castes in Hinduism, Shias Vs Sunnis, Protestants Vs Catholics. God didn't intend it that way, for sure.
I don't think we can make a major difference. But we could contribute to the NGOs that try to make a difference to the lives of the oppressed. You could look up 'Scum of the earth' in The Week dated April 8, 2007.
April 03, 2007
By Your Side
It was an ordinary day. Vishal was getting ready to leave for work. His phone rang. It was Tina.
Nisha's world had just about fallen apart. Her sister was killed in an accident. While crossing the street.
She sat, numb, disbelieving, at the house she grew up in. Running around with her sister so many years ago. Her constant companion. Confidante. Friend. Mother. A sister can fill all those roles.
Thank god for Tina. She was a rock from the moment she found out. She never thought she would keep in touch with her college friends. But remain friends they did.
You expect the world to stop because something terrible happened to you. But it doesn't. You don't understand why. The earth doesn't come to a standstill. Time goes on. You have to go through the motions. You cannot curl up and expect things to go back to the way they were.
Hey Nuttie.
Nisha turned around at the familiar nickname. It was Vishal. She crumpled into his arms.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe she's gone. I expect her to walk through the door and say 'April Fool' anytime now.
I know, I know, says Vishal. What do I know? he thinks to himself. I don't have a brother or a sister. But he did have cousins. They weren't all that close though.
I feel so lonely! Its like losing a sister and a best friend and my whole world.
I am sorry Nisha. Sorry is so..inadequate. I will always be here for you. As will Tina. He added that so it didn't seem inappropriate. She knew it too.
From being the most important person in the world to the other, to go to a point where meaningless words must be said, felt like such a farce.
But now was not the time to think of all that. It was the time to be supportive. To be by her side.
Nisha's world had just about fallen apart. Her sister was killed in an accident. While crossing the street.
She sat, numb, disbelieving, at the house she grew up in. Running around with her sister so many years ago. Her constant companion. Confidante. Friend. Mother. A sister can fill all those roles.
Thank god for Tina. She was a rock from the moment she found out. She never thought she would keep in touch with her college friends. But remain friends they did.
You expect the world to stop because something terrible happened to you. But it doesn't. You don't understand why. The earth doesn't come to a standstill. Time goes on. You have to go through the motions. You cannot curl up and expect things to go back to the way they were.
Hey Nuttie.
Nisha turned around at the familiar nickname. It was Vishal. She crumpled into his arms.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe she's gone. I expect her to walk through the door and say 'April Fool' anytime now.
I know, I know, says Vishal. What do I know? he thinks to himself. I don't have a brother or a sister. But he did have cousins. They weren't all that close though.
I feel so lonely! Its like losing a sister and a best friend and my whole world.
I am sorry Nisha. Sorry is so..inadequate. I will always be here for you. As will Tina. He added that so it didn't seem inappropriate. She knew it too.
From being the most important person in the world to the other, to go to a point where meaningless words must be said, felt like such a farce.
But now was not the time to think of all that. It was the time to be supportive. To be by her side.
March 31, 2007
No Forever
I was watching 'Grey's Anatomy', and I heard Meredith say, "You think you have forever, but you don't"
How true! My uncle's Rottweiler, Bruno died today. He was actually taken to the family burial ground in the village and buried.
My aunt and uncle, last heard, are inconsolable. He was 9 years old, so his time was certain to come, very soon. Especially after he fell sick recently and one vet suspected cancer. Another one said not cancer, inflammation, and he responded well to the treatment. But he collapsed today at the hospital.
Now to all of us this doesn't seem like a great disaster. But my aunt and uncle are in their sixties, and their daughters are married and have moved out of the house. One of them is in NY.
She called us up today and told us to go visit her parents, saying they are acting like a person, not a dog, died.
Oh coming back to my point, there is nothing called forever!
And added to my list of friends moved out, one just flew the nest today. One thought never leaves me - If I do succeed in joining CMU, I might just never meet my friends again! Not as often as I do now, atleast. :'(
How true! My uncle's Rottweiler, Bruno died today. He was actually taken to the family burial ground in the village and buried.
My aunt and uncle, last heard, are inconsolable. He was 9 years old, so his time was certain to come, very soon. Especially after he fell sick recently and one vet suspected cancer. Another one said not cancer, inflammation, and he responded well to the treatment. But he collapsed today at the hospital.
Now to all of us this doesn't seem like a great disaster. But my aunt and uncle are in their sixties, and their daughters are married and have moved out of the house. One of them is in NY.
She called us up today and told us to go visit her parents, saying they are acting like a person, not a dog, died.
Oh coming back to my point, there is nothing called forever!
And added to my list of friends moved out, one just flew the nest today. One thought never leaves me - If I do succeed in joining CMU, I might just never meet my friends again! Not as often as I do now, atleast. :'(
March 29, 2007
My Next Boyfriend?!!
I was hurried through the lines, literally, at the eye hospital because my dad knew someone there. After the computer check-up, and the eye pressure was checked. The machine blows a puff of air into your eyes and the lady in charge has d audacity to suggest you shouldnt jump back!
Then the doc sees you. He asked me the mundane put-patient-at-ease 'Are you a student?' - I get that a lot. And he promptly forgot the answer. Then again, he was like, so which course are you doing? He had an amused expression on his face.
I told him again. Next question, Are you married?
I was thinking, er, no doc ever asked me that!
Said 'Nooooooo'.
Then he said, No wonder you get away with T shirts like that.
I looked down to see which one I was wearing. Oops!
"You remind me of my next boyfriend"
This T I had bought with the dance instructor in mind 6 months ago. The most gorgeous guy ever, let me tell you that. After the dance classes ended, I forgot what was written on the T shirt, didn't matter any more you see. Was wrong, wasn't I?
I just hope no one else took it seriously!
Then the doc sees you. He asked me the mundane put-patient-at-ease 'Are you a student?' - I get that a lot. And he promptly forgot the answer. Then again, he was like, so which course are you doing? He had an amused expression on his face.
I told him again. Next question, Are you married?
I was thinking, er, no doc ever asked me that!
Said 'Nooooooo'.
Then he said, No wonder you get away with T shirts like that.
I looked down to see which one I was wearing. Oops!
"You remind me of my next boyfriend"
This T I had bought with the dance instructor in mind 6 months ago. The most gorgeous guy ever, let me tell you that. After the dance classes ended, I forgot what was written on the T shirt, didn't matter any more you see. Was wrong, wasn't I?
I just hope no one else took it seriously!
March 17, 2007
Do your bit!
If you chance upon this blog by mistake, by chance, or intentionally, whatever be the case.. Just click on the link below and register.. This aint spam!! Its a UNICEF link, sign up for the newsletter(free) and someone donates $5 on behalf of you..
http://friends.unicefusa.org/r/a1930df425a1102aa29c
Cheers,
Rush
(PS: If you have reason to believe this IS spam, do let me know!)
http://friends.unicefusa.org/r/a1930df425a1102aa29c
Cheers,
Rush
(PS: If you have reason to believe this IS spam, do let me know!)
March 08, 2007
Picture this!
I am sitting in the plush volvo bus, with the AC hitting me full-blast, when the bus is stuck in a jam. I look out the large, clear windows. 
What a way to live. I cannot help but feel guilt. Which gets compounded when I remember that I haven't made my monthly payments to my sponsored child through worldvision.
That was because of a technical problem with their website and MasterCard, I tell myself.
The guilt doesn't go away.
Does it, ever? For you?
What a way to live. I cannot help but feel guilt. Which gets compounded when I remember that I haven't made my monthly payments to my sponsored child through worldvision.
That was because of a technical problem with their website and MasterCard, I tell myself.
The guilt doesn't go away.
Does it, ever? For you?
**
PS: A closer look, BB insisted!
(Original Image Courtesy: Yours Truly. Edited By: BB)
March 02, 2007
The Bulls Vs The Bears
The rival college from across town had come to play the Finals of the Grover Trophy, a soccer fest for the college goers.
The Bulls and The Bears, quite ironically, might not have foreseen that they would in fact meet at the final. Leading to one of the best puns at college. The college magazine staff were having a field day. Even the nerds were out to find out if the Bulls or the Bears would ultimately triumph. The Mumbai Stock Exchange folks would have probably come down for a laugh if they knew. Or not, if they took their work seriously enough.
Vishal looked to the supporters before getting on to the ground. He could spot her, trademark red scarf when she wanted to stand out, quite literally, in a crowd. He blew a kiss in her direction. The coach simply glared at him.
Nisha pretended to catch the kiss, Tina looked on, exasperated. Tina knew the game quite well, after years of watching matches with two brothers she couldn't overpower. While fighting for the remote, of course.
"So when does it start?"
"Nisha, hang on till they are on the ground"
"Ok." A pause. "So what are they doing now?"
"Did you turn into the donkey in Shrek?"
"Alright, I got the hint."
Most of the game seemed to pass by in a blur. At half time, Nisha looked at the scoreboard, it said 1-0, in the Bears favour. "So Vishal's team lost huh?"
"There's still time, don't worry" Tina said.
Vishal hit a goal and the whole stadium exploded with joy. Nisha ran towards him and gave him a huge hug.
"Nisha, Nisha" the crowd chanted. Wait a minute, why would the crowd chant my name, she thought. Tina was nudging her, "Nisha! Our team hit a goal!"
She was sitting in the same place, not in Vishal's arms. Obviously. "Who hit the goal?".
"Tony did."
"Hmmm. So its over?"
"Nope, not yet."
Vishal hit a goal in the penalty kicks for the Bulls.. The Bears didn't.
"So is the game over?" Nisha shouted as the crowd erupted, this time, for real.
"Yeah, he won the match for us" Tina shouted back.
No, Nisha didn't run across the stadium to him. No one would have been surprised though, if she had.
**********************************************************
Don't ask me what this is, i cant believe i actually wrote this :( feedback plz!!
The Bulls and The Bears, quite ironically, might not have foreseen that they would in fact meet at the final. Leading to one of the best puns at college. The college magazine staff were having a field day. Even the nerds were out to find out if the Bulls or the Bears would ultimately triumph. The Mumbai Stock Exchange folks would have probably come down for a laugh if they knew. Or not, if they took their work seriously enough.
Vishal looked to the supporters before getting on to the ground. He could spot her, trademark red scarf when she wanted to stand out, quite literally, in a crowd. He blew a kiss in her direction. The coach simply glared at him.
Nisha pretended to catch the kiss, Tina looked on, exasperated. Tina knew the game quite well, after years of watching matches with two brothers she couldn't overpower. While fighting for the remote, of course.
"So when does it start?"
"Nisha, hang on till they are on the ground"
"Ok." A pause. "So what are they doing now?"
"Did you turn into the donkey in Shrek?"
"Alright, I got the hint."
Most of the game seemed to pass by in a blur. At half time, Nisha looked at the scoreboard, it said 1-0, in the Bears favour. "So Vishal's team lost huh?"
"There's still time, don't worry" Tina said.
Vishal hit a goal and the whole stadium exploded with joy. Nisha ran towards him and gave him a huge hug.
"Nisha, Nisha" the crowd chanted. Wait a minute, why would the crowd chant my name, she thought. Tina was nudging her, "Nisha! Our team hit a goal!"
She was sitting in the same place, not in Vishal's arms. Obviously. "Who hit the goal?".
"Tony did."
"Hmmm. So its over?"
"Nope, not yet."
Vishal hit a goal in the penalty kicks for the Bulls.. The Bears didn't.
"So is the game over?" Nisha shouted as the crowd erupted, this time, for real.
"Yeah, he won the match for us" Tina shouted back.
No, Nisha didn't run across the stadium to him. No one would have been surprised though, if she had.
**********************************************************
Don't ask me what this is, i cant believe i actually wrote this :( feedback plz!!
February 14, 2007
And then one night....
She was speeding across the highway. There weren't as many cars as one would expect. But then, it was mid-week and most people used this road on the weekends. She had wanted to get away from it all, in the middle of the week.
She hadn't told anyone she was leaving. Sometime tomorrow her colleagues would realise Reema wasn't in. She lived alone, so if no one answered the landline, it wouldn't be surprising. She would switch off her mobile phone as soon as she arrived at her destination.
It was a pristine spot, where she was going. She could immerse herself and forget about everything else that had happened. She didn't want to think till then.
She skidded to a stop. There was a tree branch covering the entire breadth of the road. She couldn't see any other vehicles. She looked at her phone for the time.
2.30 A.M,it blinked.
No network.
She sighed. And she got out of the car. As she bent to drag the branch, she heard a rustle behind her.
***
The body of Reema Malhotra was found on Friday, two days after she was reported missing, 300 miles from the place she was last seen. This comes at a very sad time for the Malhotra family, as Reema's sister, Sheena passed away in an accident two weeks ago.
She hadn't told anyone she was leaving. Sometime tomorrow her colleagues would realise Reema wasn't in. She lived alone, so if no one answered the landline, it wouldn't be surprising. She would switch off her mobile phone as soon as she arrived at her destination.
It was a pristine spot, where she was going. She could immerse herself and forget about everything else that had happened. She didn't want to think till then.
She skidded to a stop. There was a tree branch covering the entire breadth of the road. She couldn't see any other vehicles. She looked at her phone for the time.
2.30 A.M,it blinked.
No network.
She sighed. And she got out of the car. As she bent to drag the branch, she heard a rustle behind her.
***
The body of Reema Malhotra was found on Friday, two days after she was reported missing, 300 miles from the place she was last seen. This comes at a very sad time for the Malhotra family, as Reema's sister, Sheena passed away in an accident two weeks ago.
February 07, 2007
Men GOSSIP!
If you have been reading TOI(Times of India, duffer) lately, you would have read the many articles on 'Do Men Gossip?'
The answer, let me tell you, is a resounding YES!
I have seen more enthusiasm for gossip from guys, that in most women. The latest example are the people in my office. The guys who joined later than I did, have become such a source of entertainment, with all the latest gossip. And, they have spread the cheer, if you will, to the seniors too - All Males, again. I must admit, my friends and I do get to hear the latest gossip, mostly because we are such observant people ;) , but not with as much enthusiasm as is displayed so unabashedly by all the guys!
The Girls/Ladies/Women, on the other hand, display a largely singular lack of enthusiasm. You try telling them the latest story, and you get a shocked 'Oh Really, I never knew!'. Who said that women gossip more? It must have been a rumour started by, well, men, of course!
So, the verdict is out, and I say it once again, Men GOSSIP!
The answer, let me tell you, is a resounding YES!
I have seen more enthusiasm for gossip from guys, that in most women. The latest example are the people in my office. The guys who joined later than I did, have become such a source of entertainment, with all the latest gossip. And, they have spread the cheer, if you will, to the seniors too - All Males, again. I must admit, my friends and I do get to hear the latest gossip, mostly because we are such observant people ;) , but not with as much enthusiasm as is displayed so unabashedly by all the guys!
The Girls/Ladies/Women, on the other hand, display a largely singular lack of enthusiasm. You try telling them the latest story, and you get a shocked 'Oh Really, I never knew!'. Who said that women gossip more? It must have been a rumour started by, well, men, of course!
So, the verdict is out, and I say it once again, Men GOSSIP!
February 05, 2007
Nisha
How do I explain the mystery that is me? Vishal cannot put it in words, however hard he may try. He probably doesn't know me at all. Come to think of it, perhaps no one really does. Except for my dog, Julie, who does not judge me.
Another 5 minutes and I am going away from here. Although being at a table by myself isn't as bad as I thought. Except for the sad, curious glances coming my way. They are probably thinking, 'Oh the poor thing doesn't have a date!'. Vishal won't if he is not here soon.
Tina told me not to leave so early. 'Make a man wait', she said. Ha! What does she know! The cell phone is such a blessing, you can always pretend to be busy and pre-occupied, even when you are just deleting your messages.
'Hi there!' a voice piped up near my ear. Right ear.
I smiled at him, 'What, no kiss?'
The scandalous look on his face should have been captured. 'Here? Out in the open?'
'Are you chicken?'
'Hell, ya!'
'You think I am with you because of your charm?'
'Now we are getting somewhere. Pray tell me more'
'Well, I only wanted to have my first kiss before I turned 18, whats your excuse?'
'You are crazy'
'Just honest!' And it definitely did pay to keep a man dangling. Sweet revenge for making me wait so long. But then, what if that was the truth.
Poor Vishal.
Another 5 minutes and I am going away from here. Although being at a table by myself isn't as bad as I thought. Except for the sad, curious glances coming my way. They are probably thinking, 'Oh the poor thing doesn't have a date!'. Vishal won't if he is not here soon.
Tina told me not to leave so early. 'Make a man wait', she said. Ha! What does she know! The cell phone is such a blessing, you can always pretend to be busy and pre-occupied, even when you are just deleting your messages.
'Hi there!' a voice piped up near my ear. Right ear.
I smiled at him, 'What, no kiss?'
The scandalous look on his face should have been captured. 'Here? Out in the open?'
'Are you chicken?'
'Hell, ya!'
'You think I am with you because of your charm?'
'Now we are getting somewhere. Pray tell me more'
'Well, I only wanted to have my first kiss before I turned 18, whats your excuse?'
'You are crazy'
'Just honest!' And it definitely did pay to keep a man dangling. Sweet revenge for making me wait so long. But then, what if that was the truth.
Poor Vishal.
February 03, 2007
When memories beckon...
A saturday, at the end of January, even with the end of season sales, finds me at home at noon. Immersed in a book. Until I hear faint strains of melodies from the school next door.
"Papa kehte hain bada naam karega
Beta hamara aisa kaam karega
Magar yeh to koi na jaane
Ki meri manzil hai kahan..."
Just the melody, no voices. Takes you back to that time when you believed in a fair world. A world filled with possibilities and hope.
Then the school voices break out in a rendition of KK's unforgettable number.
"Hum, rahen ya na rahen kal
Kal yaad aayenge ye pal
Pal, ye hain pyar ke pal
Chal, aa mere sang chal
Chal, soche kya
Chhoti si, hai zindagi
Kal, mil jaaye to hogi khush-naseebi"
There isn't much of a crowd, unlike the usual celebrations put up by this school. It must be a farewell function, it feels like one. A school teacher talks after the song, wishing all the students the very best, asking them to remain focussed, bring glory, all of that. She also warns them that attendance is compulsory. For what, I do not know. Revision exams must be around the corner for these tenth grade kids.
They must be looking forward to going to college. They wouldn't have to wear school uniforms anymore. Perhaps a little apprehensive about making new friends. Probably a little devastated about having to leave school friends behind. Maybe, they just can't wait for their new lives to begin. Don't grow up too soon, I say to the wind. The wind may choose not to pass the message along. All I know for certain, is that they will revisit their school memories and wish they could have that simple life back again. The band, strikes up a final number.
"Tum ko bhi hai khabar
Mujhko bhi hai pata
Ho raha hai judaa
Dono ka raasta
Dur jaake bhi mujhse
tum meri yaadon main rehna
Kabhi alvida na kehna
Kabhi alvida na kehna..........."
Fitting, don't you think?
"Papa kehte hain bada naam karega
Beta hamara aisa kaam karega
Magar yeh to koi na jaane
Ki meri manzil hai kahan..."
Just the melody, no voices. Takes you back to that time when you believed in a fair world. A world filled with possibilities and hope.
Then the school voices break out in a rendition of KK's unforgettable number.
"Hum, rahen ya na rahen kal
Kal yaad aayenge ye pal
Pal, ye hain pyar ke pal
Chal, aa mere sang chal
Chal, soche kya
Chhoti si, hai zindagi
Kal, mil jaaye to hogi khush-naseebi"
There isn't much of a crowd, unlike the usual celebrations put up by this school. It must be a farewell function, it feels like one. A school teacher talks after the song, wishing all the students the very best, asking them to remain focussed, bring glory, all of that. She also warns them that attendance is compulsory. For what, I do not know. Revision exams must be around the corner for these tenth grade kids.
They must be looking forward to going to college. They wouldn't have to wear school uniforms anymore. Perhaps a little apprehensive about making new friends. Probably a little devastated about having to leave school friends behind. Maybe, they just can't wait for their new lives to begin. Don't grow up too soon, I say to the wind. The wind may choose not to pass the message along. All I know for certain, is that they will revisit their school memories and wish they could have that simple life back again. The band, strikes up a final number.
"Tum ko bhi hai khabar
Mujhko bhi hai pata
Ho raha hai judaa
Dono ka raasta
Dur jaake bhi mujhse
tum meri yaadon main rehna
Kabhi alvida na kehna
Kabhi alvida na kehna..........."
Fitting, don't you think?
January 21, 2007
Rush Hour 2
Welcome to Rush Hour. This is your host Rush, as you know by now.
Today, I am in the beautiful environs of the Himalayas.. freakin cold out here.. ('Mind your language', warns a voice on my earphone)
Meet Mr. Earth. And no, he is not a winner of a beauty pageant, he is for real.
'So Mr Earth, ..'
'Call me Mud' a booming voice interrupts.
'Would Mud be your first name?' I don't want to laugh out loud.
'Its a long story' sighs Mr Earth.. er Mud.
'So tell me, what's with the hot geysers ? I have always wanted to know' I say brightly. I can hear my producer groan.
'Well... Keep this off the record..You know when you are surrounded by water, and you get this uncontrollable urge to pee?'
Uh Oh.. I didn't bargain for this. 70% water on the planet, and so he shoots off hot geysers!
I am not even gonna ask him about volcanoes and lava. Eugh.
'Please clarify once and for all. Is there such a thing as Global Warming?'On to more weighty issues.
'Are you guys blind, is all I ask. Aren't there enough signs already? If you are waiting for a sign that says "Global Warming is real" like the "Hollywood" sign, you are in deep trouble my friend.'
'Right. Er.. What do you think about the Population growth?'
'I am reaching B.P.'
'Boiling Point?' I ask.
'Bursting Point.'
'Ha ha.. ' The interview could be going better. You have a minute left, this is prime time, remember? The voice in my ear whispers.
'Nice talking to you, Mud. I am afraid that is all we have time for.'
'I suppose the future of the planet is not as important as the Cameron Diaz-Justin Timberlake break-up.' Deep Sigh. 'All I can say is, Be Very Careful, children.'
'Thanks Mr Earth.' my voice comes out as a squeak.
'Thats it folks, catch you on Rush Hour, at the same time, next week. Ciao!'
Today, I am in the beautiful environs of the Himalayas.. freakin cold out here.. ('Mind your language', warns a voice on my earphone)
Meet Mr. Earth. And no, he is not a winner of a beauty pageant, he is for real.
'So Mr Earth, ..'
'Call me Mud' a booming voice interrupts.
'Would Mud be your first name?' I don't want to laugh out loud.
'Its a long story' sighs Mr Earth.. er Mud.
'So tell me, what's with the hot geysers ? I have always wanted to know' I say brightly. I can hear my producer groan.
'Well... Keep this off the record..You know when you are surrounded by water, and you get this uncontrollable urge to pee?'
Uh Oh.. I didn't bargain for this. 70% water on the planet, and so he shoots off hot geysers!
I am not even gonna ask him about volcanoes and lava. Eugh.
'Please clarify once and for all. Is there such a thing as Global Warming?'On to more weighty issues.
'Are you guys blind, is all I ask. Aren't there enough signs already? If you are waiting for a sign that says "Global Warming is real" like the "Hollywood" sign, you are in deep trouble my friend.'
'Right. Er.. What do you think about the Population growth?'
'I am reaching B.P.'
'Boiling Point?' I ask.
'Bursting Point.'
'Ha ha..
'Nice talking to you, Mud. I am afraid that is all we have time for.'
'I suppose the future of the planet is not as important as the Cameron Diaz-Justin Timberlake break-up.' Deep Sigh. 'All I can say is, Be Very Careful, children.'
'Thanks Mr Earth.' my voice comes out as a squeak.
'Thats it folks, catch you on Rush Hour, at the same time, next week. Ciao!'
January 20, 2007
The Aftermath
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that? .
I watched her walk away. Away from me. I fingered my pocket, and pulled out the little box. A diamond ring, set in platinum. Exactly the way she would have wanted it. I thought I always would know what she wanted. She proved me wrong. I put the ring back. Its time would never come.
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that? .
I watched her walk away. Away from me. I fingered my pocket, and pulled out the little box. A diamond ring, set in platinum. Exactly the way she would have wanted it. I thought I always would know what she wanted. She proved me wrong. I put the ring back. Its time would never come.
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
*****
Exactly a month since she went out of my life.
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I have been staring at her flat phone number for an hour. Not that I don't know it by heart.
"Hello?" Tina, her roommate answered.
'Hey Tina. Its me, Vishal.'
Awkward pause.
"Hey Vishal! How are you?"
'I am doing good. I just called to let you know that I am going to Canada for a year. Maybe more.'
"That's wonderful for you... She's not here though Vishal."
'Oh... That's ok.. You take care. Bye'
"Bye"
Tina kept the phone down slowly, and looked at a corner of the room.
I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense
Nisha's eyes were closed, and it was too dark to see if there wre any tears.
'Thanks Tina.'
###########################################
Song has been Edited, found a better one to match the story.
January 02, 2007
New Year Revelations
Happy New Year everybody!
I hope you had great fun on New Year's Eve. It has become so important that we do. Not so much because you want to have fun, but to have a 'cool' answer to 'So what did you do for New Year's?' questions.
Well my cousins and I had organised games..for our parents and their friends! It was a lot of fun, truth be told, to watch all uncles and aunties acting like kids ;)
And one of them had organised a quiz for us so we didn't feel too left out.
One game my cousin came up with, I must talk about. It had each couple tied to each other. The uncle(we call them all uncles u see) had to pick up a candystick from one plate, with his mouth, pass it to his wife (yep you guessed it, no hands involved) and the aunty had to put it on the empty place beside her! It was hilarious!
Another game was the 'compatibility test', which was quite a revelation.. Atleast to my bro! My mom and dad were asked 'Did you have a love marriage or an arranged one?' and both of them put down 'Love marriage'. Well, I was told this some years back by my cousins (as some kinda ammunition ;) ) but my bro had absolutely no inkling. Well, actually he didn't know that sush's parents was a love marriage, and EVERYBODY knows that (as do my friends) although how he managed to remain ignorant of this tidbit is beyond my understanding!
Anyways, thats about it for now.. Have a great year ahead of ya :)
Cheers,
Rush
I hope you had great fun on New Year's Eve. It has become so important that we do. Not so much because you want to have fun, but to have a 'cool' answer to 'So what did you do for New Year's?' questions.
Well my cousins and I had organised games..for our parents and their friends! It was a lot of fun, truth be told, to watch all uncles and aunties acting like kids ;)
And one of them had organised a quiz for us so we didn't feel too left out.
One game my cousin came up with, I must talk about. It had each couple tied to each other. The uncle(we call them all uncles u see) had to pick up a candystick from one plate, with his mouth, pass it to his wife (yep you guessed it, no hands involved) and the aunty had to put it on the empty place beside her! It was hilarious!
Another game was the 'compatibility test', which was quite a revelation.. Atleast to my bro! My mom and dad were asked 'Did you have a love marriage or an arranged one?' and both of them put down 'Love marriage'. Well, I was told this some years back by my cousins (as some kinda ammunition ;) ) but my bro had absolutely no inkling. Well, actually he didn't know that sush's parents was a love marriage, and EVERYBODY knows that (as do my friends) although how he managed to remain ignorant of this tidbit is beyond my understanding!
Anyways, thats about it for now.. Have a great year ahead of ya :)
Cheers,
Rush
December 26, 2006
CMU !!
It was an ordinary saturday. I must amend that coz saturdays bring the bliss of the weekend, and a prayer that it will last forever. Its only on Sunday evenings and Monday mornings that reality hits you on your forehead.
I had not checked the status of my application to the Tepper Business School of Carnegie Mellon University, so I checked that first. The status said "Under Review by the Admissions Committee". But an update below said "To view your Admission Decision click link below"
"Uh oh" I thought. I had seen a similar letter 3 days back.. And that said even though you have many strong qualities blah blah we have to deny admission blah blah. You get the picture.
With a foreboding of dread I opened the link..
"Dear Rashmi,
Congratulations!..."
Now wait a minute, I thought. Reject letters don't begin with 'Congrats!'. With my mouth agape (like that of a Miss Universe winner) I read the rest of the letter. I was actually offered admission!!
Well, it was kinda like my dream school, and to know they think you worthy of being in their midst.. phew! ;)
Check out the flash presentation they sent to my mail inbox:
http://business.tepper.cmu.edu/bschoolnews2007/
Whether I will join or not is another story, the damn course(all expenses) costs 60 lakhs and that is a MAJOR cause for worry.. Not to mention my mom's worries of my future.. Read my horrorscope post below for more on that..
I had not checked the status of my application to the Tepper Business School of Carnegie Mellon University, so I checked that first. The status said "Under Review by the Admissions Committee". But an update below said "To view your Admission Decision click link below"
"Uh oh" I thought. I had seen a similar letter 3 days back.. And that said even though you have many strong qualities blah blah we have to deny admission blah blah. You get the picture.
With a foreboding of dread I opened the link..
"Dear Rashmi,
Congratulations!..."
Now wait a minute, I thought. Reject letters don't begin with 'Congrats!'. With my mouth agape (like that of a Miss Universe winner) I read the rest of the letter. I was actually offered admission!!
Well, it was kinda like my dream school, and to know they think you worthy of being in their midst.. phew! ;)
Check out the flash presentation they sent to my mail inbox:
http://business.tepper.cmu.edu/bschoolnews2007/
Whether I will join or not is another story, the damn course(all expenses) costs 60 lakhs and that is a MAJOR cause for worry.. Not to mention my mom's worries of my future.. Read my horrorscope post below for more on that..
December 12, 2006
Horrorscope!!
An un-original title, I must admit. Yesterday, my mom and aunt - when I say 'aunt' its almost always Sush's mom - went to a pujari who also reads horoscopes. You guessed it, they were armed with all our horoscopes. Mine, ranju's, sush's, shru's, suri's and our parents'. So I am gonna give you a sneak preview into our future!!
Mom , since we started this story with her. Apparently my mom worries more than events warrant. hehe! She also will have arthritis problems, so she must exercise. Am I clairvoyant or what, I enrolled my mama (mom) in a gym last year itself!!
Aunt, no clue, must check with mom ;)
Suri.. Will have sanna-putta (small) health problems always. Now I know why the little chappie used to have such awful teeth.. and still looks like a skeleton.. well thats a family trait tho!
Speaking of which, my bro's weight is set to zoom.. Upwards!! Apparently he will get really fat and might have health problems coz of that!! Well, in my family (first cousins included) we have very few or no fat people, so thats worrying. But not altogether surprising coz he eats like a pig !
Coming to Sush. Well the darlin should get married next year it seems if she hopes to find a good laddie. And ranju, sush and me share one common characteristic - our moonsign is taurus aka d bull. And we are very difficult to handle when we want something, we just charge through, he said!! hehe But my mom was telling us that ranju and sush are easy to manage, its me and shru who will cause the problems ;)
Okie I gotta talk of myself, shouldnt I? Hmmm, I stand almost a sure-shot chance at higher study (Sigh of relief? I will wait until I get an admit) And I should be married off before I turn 25, or moi will have a love marriage!! Aint that interesting now?? And that has shocked my mom n aunt. Let me put a note here that will tell ya that my aunt RAN away and got married to my uncle (dad's bro). But now they want to try n get me to tie the dreaded knot so I wont bring scandal! Talk about irony!
Enough of this ram-kahani, will let ya know if any of this comes true.. One thing I am worried about, ranju turnin faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!! :D
Mom , since we started this story with her. Apparently my mom worries more than events warrant. hehe! She also will have arthritis problems, so she must exercise. Am I clairvoyant or what, I enrolled my mama (mom) in a gym last year itself!!
Aunt, no clue, must check with mom ;)
Suri.. Will have sanna-putta (small) health problems always. Now I know why the little chappie used to have such awful teeth.. and still looks like a skeleton.. well thats a family trait tho!
Speaking of which, my bro's weight is set to zoom.. Upwards!! Apparently he will get really fat and might have health problems coz of that!! Well, in my family (first cousins included) we have very few or no fat people, so thats worrying. But not altogether surprising coz he eats like a pig !
Coming to Sush. Well the darlin should get married next year it seems if she hopes to find a good laddie. And ranju, sush and me share one common characteristic - our moonsign is taurus aka d bull. And we are very difficult to handle when we want something, we just charge through, he said!! hehe But my mom was telling us that ranju and sush are easy to manage, its me and shru who will cause the problems ;)
Okie I gotta talk of myself, shouldnt I? Hmmm, I stand almost a sure-shot chance at higher study (Sigh of relief? I will wait until I get an admit) And I should be married off before I turn 25, or moi will have a love marriage!! Aint that interesting now?? And that has shocked my mom n aunt. Let me put a note here that will tell ya that my aunt RAN away and got married to my uncle (dad's bro). But now they want to try n get me to tie the dreaded knot so I wont bring scandal! Talk about irony!
Enough of this ram-kahani, will let ya know if any of this comes true.. One thing I am worried about, ranju turnin faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!! :D
October 28, 2006
Not so Funny!
Something interesting happened yesterday. I say interesting for lack of a better word.
The day being Friday, the 'Friday Fun At Work' games were held. Funny thing, Rajiv had told me around the same time last year, that all these HR 'Fun' Initiatives start around the time of the appraisals, and surprise surprise, appraisals are around the corner ;) After all, the HR folks must be getting appraised too!
Anyways, back to my story. One of the games was Virtual volleyball, with four teams, and one had to call out to another person in the other team, and that one would call to someone in the next team, and so on, till a person didn't know someone's name. Well, the team size is big, so that is bound to happen especially with atleast a coupla new folks every month. And the one who was caught without a name to call, would have to do anything the audience asked him/her to. Sounds like a recipe for trouble, aint it. Not there was trouble per se. But people behave more outrageously in groups than they would alone.
I had lots of work, so I tried sneaking up to my desk, after my name was called and I called out someone from the next team. My turn was done. I heard everyone laugh. There was a bakra caught, so I came back to investigate. Apparently the cue from the crowd was to imitate someone I will refer to as X (Not very inventive as far as aliases go, I know ;) )
Now, X is actually one of the PLs around, a good sport I suppose, because he didn't say anything as the bakra(for want of a better name, no offense :-P) even went up to his desk and shook hands with him. The team has a loooooot of people just under a year old, in terms of work ex. I doubt if most of the people stopped to think how they would feel if anyone if someone imitated him and he also happened to be quite senior. After all, any personal attack in front of a laughing crowd amounts to being vindictive, and is insulting.
No one stopped the 'imitation' from taking place. The folks conducting the game forgot to play their role of being an impartial conductor. I wish I could have stopped the thing, but it had started even before I found out what was happening. And maybe, even if I was there right at the very beginning, I still might have been a spectator. Most people in a crowd don't say anything even when they would like to, maybe because they don't want to play spoilsport, they just watch things happen. I maybe talking about riots, I don't know. I just know, that I didn't like what happened, even if X really didn't mind even a little bit, which I doubt.
The day being Friday, the 'Friday Fun At Work' games were held. Funny thing, Rajiv had told me around the same time last year, that all these HR 'Fun' Initiatives start around the time of the appraisals, and surprise surprise, appraisals are around the corner ;) After all, the HR folks must be getting appraised too!
Anyways, back to my story. One of the games was Virtual volleyball, with four teams, and one had to call out to another person in the other team, and that one would call to someone in the next team, and so on, till a person didn't know someone's name. Well, the team size is big, so that is bound to happen especially with atleast a coupla new folks every month. And the one who was caught without a name to call, would have to do anything the audience asked him/her to. Sounds like a recipe for trouble, aint it. Not there was trouble per se. But people behave more outrageously in groups than they would alone.
I had lots of work, so I tried sneaking up to my desk, after my name was called and I called out someone from the next team. My turn was done. I heard everyone laugh. There was a bakra caught, so I came back to investigate. Apparently the cue from the crowd was to imitate someone I will refer to as X (Not very inventive as far as aliases go, I know ;) )
Now, X is actually one of the PLs around, a good sport I suppose, because he didn't say anything as the bakra(for want of a better name, no offense :-P) even went up to his desk and shook hands with him. The team has a loooooot of people just under a year old, in terms of work ex. I doubt if most of the people stopped to think how they would feel if anyone if someone imitated him and he also happened to be quite senior. After all, any personal attack in front of a laughing crowd amounts to being vindictive, and is insulting.
No one stopped the 'imitation' from taking place. The folks conducting the game forgot to play their role of being an impartial conductor. I wish I could have stopped the thing, but it had started even before I found out what was happening. And maybe, even if I was there right at the very beginning, I still might have been a spectator. Most people in a crowd don't say anything even when they would like to, maybe because they don't want to play spoilsport, they just watch things happen. I maybe talking about riots, I don't know. I just know, that I didn't like what happened, even if X really didn't mind even a little bit, which I doubt.
September 13, 2006
CnH1
Hey folks!
I am terribly sorry for the delay in mailing most of you. That was coz of me having problems with Lotus Notes installation , then when that got done and I typed out my mail, I found I had a database issue.
And I am, right now, swamped with work.
Til later,
Rush
ps - cant access d 'words' rite now, problems with inbox.. ciao!
September 09, 2006
a brilliant notion ;)
well well well, i must have mailed most of you through orkut, but if I haven't, here goes -
I am considering putting up my CnH mail here on my blog, instead of sending a mail everyday. I got the idea coz I have a prob currently with my lotus notes and am unable to send any mails :( :(
since most of you seem ok with it, am gonna start posting soon!! Til then, goodnite. and good luck :D
luv
rush
I am considering putting up my CnH mail here on my blog, instead of sending a mail everyday. I got the idea coz I have a prob currently with my lotus notes and am unable to send any mails :( :(
since most of you seem ok with it, am gonna start posting soon!! Til then, goodnite. and good luck :D
luv
rush
September 05, 2006
Visions
I love my dreams. I am not talking of the ones I envision for myself - but of the dreams I see in my sleep. You would too, if you get wonderful ones like I do..
***
I am hiding behind a rock on the Siachen Glacier, watching the shooting (cinema) of SRK's newest movie - a thriller based in snow filled mountains, and bullets whizzing by.
***
I am on a space station with my classmates, on a field trip from school, looking at the nothingness outside - when a door opens.. and there is a manic rush to save people from flying out!
***
There is a riot. And a bullet lodges itself in my collar bone... just above my left shoulder. I am going to die.
I wake up
***
The bullet is lodged in my shoulder. I am soooo gonna die. Wait a minute, this is a dream.
My veins are almost on the verge of bursting open. I am gonna die. Oh this is a dream.
Trying hard to wake up.
I do get up! It was a dream that continued even after I woke up the first time and assured myself I was dreaming!!
***
I open my wardrobe and see a huge pile of new dresses
Why did that have to be just a dream?
***
There is a huge five headed snake coming out of the soil in my garden. Huge. Extending across the whole garden, in the house I stayed while I was in school.
***
This is just a sample ;)
***
I am hiding behind a rock on the Siachen Glacier, watching the shooting (cinema) of SRK's newest movie - a thriller based in snow filled mountains, and bullets whizzing by.
***
I am on a space station with my classmates, on a field trip from school, looking at the nothingness outside - when a door opens.. and there is a manic rush to save people from flying out!
***
There is a riot. And a bullet lodges itself in my collar bone... just above my left shoulder. I am going to die.
I wake up
***
The bullet is lodged in my shoulder. I am soooo gonna die. Wait a minute, this is a dream.
My veins are almost on the verge of bursting open. I am gonna die. Oh this is a dream.
Trying hard to wake up.
I do get up! It was a dream that continued even after I woke up the first time and assured myself I was dreaming!!
***
I open my wardrobe and see a huge pile of new dresses
Why did that have to be just a dream?
***
There is a huge five headed snake coming out of the soil in my garden. Huge. Extending across the whole garden, in the house I stayed while I was in school.
***
This is just a sample ;)
August 25, 2006
Point of No Return
James Blunt's cd was on in my player. I stared at the envelope. It was an invitation to her birthday party. My long lost sister's. I preferred the 'long lost' part of it.
It wasn't always like this. We were as close as sisters can be. Best friends, literally. And then she did something awful. There comes a time in any relationship that is beginning to go sour, when you know instinctively that it will never be as good as it was, ever again. It doesn't happen in every relationship.... and sometimes does when you least expect it. I opened the envelope.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to beI've seen you cry,
I've seen you smile.I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby,
I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Call me...
I stared at it for a while. What the heck. I lifted the phone off its cradle and dialled. I didn't have to look anywhere for the number.
'Sasha ?' The voice at the other end asked.
'Hey Nikki...' I swallowed the lump in my throat. 'I just got your card'
'And you were listening to the song, weren't you?'
'Yep dear twin.. yes i was'
'Happens every time... atleast it used to... Can you forgive me?'
'I dunno nikki... but i want to..'
'thanks... i hope its a start.. so can we celebrate our birthday's together?'
Tricky. I hope she wouldn't take it badly when I said no.
'Sure. Why not?' the words were out of my mouth before I could say No.
She giggled, tentatively. And we laughed.
It might never be the same again. But there wasn't any harm in trying...
It wasn't always like this. We were as close as sisters can be. Best friends, literally. And then she did something awful. There comes a time in any relationship that is beginning to go sour, when you know instinctively that it will never be as good as it was, ever again. It doesn't happen in every relationship.... and sometimes does when you least expect it. I opened the envelope.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to beI've seen you cry,
I've seen you smile.I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby,
I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Call me...
I stared at it for a while. What the heck. I lifted the phone off its cradle and dialled. I didn't have to look anywhere for the number.
'Sasha ?' The voice at the other end asked.
'Hey Nikki...' I swallowed the lump in my throat. 'I just got your card'
'And you were listening to the song, weren't you?'
'Yep dear twin.. yes i was'
'Happens every time... atleast it used to... Can you forgive me?'
'I dunno nikki... but i want to..'
'thanks... i hope its a start.. so can we celebrate our birthday's together?'
Tricky. I hope she wouldn't take it badly when I said no.
'Sure. Why not?' the words were out of my mouth before I could say No.
She giggled, tentatively. And we laughed.
It might never be the same again. But there wasn't any harm in trying...
August 17, 2006
An Observation...
Hmmm, I haven't much time, so I will make this short.
I was out on Independence day, and was pleasantly surprised to see so many flags displayed. I am used to just wearing the flag, you know, the kind you pin up in school. When I told my dad that, he said, try to see if any car displays the flag. Its always the poor who overtly display their patriotism. I hate to admit he was right, but I could not spot any car that sported the flag. Autos, aplenty, with atleast two flags on each. Vegetable hawkers. Those mini trucks that look like an auto. Vans. Taxis. No cars. A kid on his bicycle. No cars with flags. I don't know how much this has to do with displaying patriotism on your sleeve, and how much to do with the hip 'I don't really care', or with who would rather spend money on the flag, this is what I had started out saying... Its just, an observation!
I was out on Independence day, and was pleasantly surprised to see so many flags displayed. I am used to just wearing the flag, you know, the kind you pin up in school. When I told my dad that, he said, try to see if any car displays the flag. Its always the poor who overtly display their patriotism. I hate to admit he was right, but I could not spot any car that sported the flag. Autos, aplenty, with atleast two flags on each. Vegetable hawkers. Those mini trucks that look like an auto. Vans. Taxis. No cars. A kid on his bicycle. No cars with flags. I don't know how much this has to do with displaying patriotism on your sleeve, and how much to do with the hip 'I don't really care', or with who would rather spend money on the flag, this is what I had started out saying... Its just, an observation!
August 01, 2006
Check this out!
I had gone to a guesthouse near the airport.. and this is a sample of what i clicked :) :)
July 31, 2006
A Fork in the Road
There are times when you come to a fork in the road. In our roads, especially more so. But I was not talking about the ones we drive, rather try to drive on. When there are two paths you can walk down on, in your life. Neither is rosy, perhaps neither are filled with thorns. Just two very different things that you can do. How do you decide? Tossing a coin to decide which one to take, may seem the easiest thing that you can do. Leaving it up to providence. Leaving it to the hand of God to urge you down any one path.
Sometimes there aren't two roads. Just one. A small change in your personality, in your current circumstance that would result in a different avenue opening up right before you. And you have to decide, whether to take it or not. A different kind of a job that crops up. An old friend who you see in a different light. Just about everything would change, if you do act upon it.
Not acting upon something, wanting status-quo, because you are scared of the 'what-ifs' is what one might want to do. But you would forever live with that question. 'If only I had taken up that offer'. 'If only I had told him/her.' If only's..
When you are at a crossroads the next time, it probably is because you desperately want change in your life. Go down the fork, in any direction. Choose. In the hopes that if it doesn't work out, maybe you would come across the other path somewhere down the road. Or maybe a completely different one.
Sometimes there aren't two roads. Just one. A small change in your personality, in your current circumstance that would result in a different avenue opening up right before you. And you have to decide, whether to take it or not. A different kind of a job that crops up. An old friend who you see in a different light. Just about everything would change, if you do act upon it.
Not acting upon something, wanting status-quo, because you are scared of the 'what-ifs' is what one might want to do. But you would forever live with that question. 'If only I had taken up that offer'. 'If only I had told him/her.' If only's..
When you are at a crossroads the next time, it probably is because you desperately want change in your life. Go down the fork, in any direction. Choose. In the hopes that if it doesn't work out, maybe you would come across the other path somewhere down the road. Or maybe a completely different one.
July 08, 2006
Guts
You sometimes have to wonder at the sheer audacity or guts of someone. Like when LTTE offered an apology for the killing of Rajiv Gandhi, after fifteen years of the actual crime, expecting to be forgiven by a 'magnanimous' India who would then jump to the rescue of the LTTE, who have dipped in popularity charts recently. Not that they were ever top of the charts. An excerpt of some of the reactions to the 'apology'
I wish we had an agency like the Mossad who would go and wipe out the perpetrators of any crime against the nation.
Enough about them. Do let me know of instances in your life/ public personalities who surprise you, or shock you, simply by being incredibly stupid, or showing remarkable guts.
**Note: Do not mention France or Zidane, or your comment will be deleted :-P **
I wish we had an agency like the Mossad who would go and wipe out the perpetrators of any crime against the nation.
Enough about them. Do let me know of instances in your life/ public personalities who surprise you, or shock you, simply by being incredibly stupid, or showing remarkable guts.
**Note: Do not mention France or Zidane, or your comment will be deleted :-P **
June 24, 2006
Dida speaks !
Welcome to Rush Hour. This is your host Rush speaking. Today we interview Dida, the famed goalie of the favorites to win the World Cup, Brazil. (Samba music blares. And dims as Dida comes into view)
"Hi Dida! Say Hi to your fans in India"
"Namaste. Kaise ho aap"
I look at him, mouth agape. My director recovers quickly and says' close your mouth' in my earpiece.
"How...?" Deep breath. "How do you know Hindi?"
"Arre yaaar, we all watch Hindi movies!"
"You do?"
"Yeah. Parreira insisted. He wanted us to learn from the Hindi movie actors."
"Learn....?" 'You are doing a wonderful job Rush', the voice at my earpiece drips with sarcasm.
"Yep. You know, there are so many actors, and each one of us can derive inspiration from them. Like Ronaldo is scheduled to watch Dev Anand Saab's movies. The 'always young' factor. And also Rishi Kapoor's and Govinda's movies. He can still make his moves inspite of the belly shaking like a room full of jelly."
I watch closely. There is no smirk on his face.
"Hmmm who does Ronaldinho derive inspiration from?"
"Mithun da. 'I am a disco dancer' " Dida imitates the move. "And recently Shahid Kapoor too. This Shiamak's people do a pretty neat job. We are all waiting for him to open a centre in Brazil too."
"So thats how Ronaldinho learnt to dance with the ball!" I exclaim, like I discovered a gold mine.
He gives me a 'What was I talking about for so long' look. 'Rasssshhhhmmiiiiiiiiii' the voice in my ear. He's calling me by my full name. Its must be really bad then.
"So how different is it playing for the national team from AC Milan?"
"Playing for Brazil is amazing. You play for the country. The level of patriotism in the team and the adulation of our fans and supporters back home....it really is touching. And of course, we get to see your movies!"
Not again!
"Tell me about Kaka" The cutie pie. Did I say that aloud? I can't remember. No shocked voice at my ear, so I am safe. For the moment.
"Oh he's a lot like your Hrithik Roshan."
"He is? A heartthrob, you mean?"
"Yeah, and the movie Lakshya. The whole patriotism - team spirit - goal - maksad shindig"
"Oh. Wow. So how is your team preparting for the Group 2 matches?" Smart question, I tell myself.
"Krrish released today, so Kaka is treating us all to a dekko of the movie."
Dumbfounded again. So thats the secret of their success story? 'Wrap it up', says the voice.
"Dida. Before we wrap it up, who do you emulate?"
"Rajesh Khanna."
"Let me guess. His hand movements?"
"You guessed it babe!"
Wide smile from moi as I finally feel on top of this scenario. (Don't you think dirty!)
"Nice talking to you Dida. Very enlightening. All the best for the rest of the World Cup."
"Thanks Rush."
As the Samba music grows to a deafening level, I hear a "Psssst" from Dida.
"Dont be surprised if we do a Koi Mil Gaya or a Krrish and start jumping around the stadium using some Jadoo."
Was he smiling? Did I really hear that? I guess we will soon find out!
*****************************************************************
It didn't turn out as funny as when it was in my head :) perhaps writing after 1 in the nite, while chatting and orkutting and having had a gruelling dance class which included >100 stomach crunches is not the best time to write!! will edit this post soon...
"Hi Dida! Say Hi to your fans in India"
"Namaste. Kaise ho aap"
I look at him, mouth agape. My director recovers quickly and says' close your mouth' in my earpiece.
"How...?" Deep breath. "How do you know Hindi?"
"Arre yaaar, we all watch Hindi movies!"
"You do?"
"Yeah. Parreira insisted. He wanted us to learn from the Hindi movie actors."
"Learn....?" 'You are doing a wonderful job Rush', the voice at my earpiece drips with sarcasm.
"Yep. You know, there are so many actors, and each one of us can derive inspiration from them. Like Ronaldo is scheduled to watch Dev Anand Saab's movies. The 'always young' factor. And also Rishi Kapoor's and Govinda's movies. He can still make his moves inspite of the belly shaking like a room full of jelly."
I watch closely. There is no smirk on his face.
"Hmmm who does Ronaldinho derive inspiration from?"
"Mithun da. 'I am a disco dancer' " Dida imitates the move. "And recently Shahid Kapoor too. This Shiamak's people do a pretty neat job. We are all waiting for him to open a centre in Brazil too."
"So thats how Ronaldinho learnt to dance with the ball!" I exclaim, like I discovered a gold mine.
He gives me a 'What was I talking about for so long' look. 'Rasssshhhhmmiiiiiiiiii' the voice in my ear. He's calling me by my full name. Its must be really bad then.
"So how different is it playing for the national team from AC Milan?"
"Playing for Brazil is amazing. You play for the country. The level of patriotism in the team and the adulation of our fans and supporters back home....it really is touching. And of course, we get to see your movies!"
Not again!
"Tell me about Kaka" The cutie pie. Did I say that aloud? I can't remember. No shocked voice at my ear, so I am safe. For the moment.
"Oh he's a lot like your Hrithik Roshan."
"He is? A heartthrob, you mean?"
"Yeah, and the movie Lakshya. The whole patriotism - team spirit - goal - maksad shindig"
"Oh. Wow. So how is your team preparting for the Group 2 matches?" Smart question, I tell myself.
"Krrish released today, so Kaka is treating us all to a dekko of the movie."
Dumbfounded again. So thats the secret of their success story? 'Wrap it up', says the voice.
"Dida. Before we wrap it up, who do you emulate?"
"Rajesh Khanna."
"Let me guess. His hand movements?"
"You guessed it babe!"
Wide smile from moi as I finally feel on top of this scenario. (Don't you think dirty!)
"Nice talking to you Dida. Very enlightening. All the best for the rest of the World Cup."
"Thanks Rush."
As the Samba music grows to a deafening level, I hear a "Psssst" from Dida.
"Dont be surprised if we do a Koi Mil Gaya or a Krrish and start jumping around the stadium using some Jadoo."
Was he smiling? Did I really hear that? I guess we will soon find out!
*****************************************************************
It didn't turn out as funny as when it was in my head :) perhaps writing after 1 in the nite, while chatting and orkutting and having had a gruelling dance class which included >100 stomach crunches is not the best time to write!! will edit this post soon...
June 15, 2006
End of an Era
Today's probably one of those infrequent days that mark your life that you will remember, always. For me, that is. For my friends at work.
Kiddo left today, for Ahmedabad. From there he will go on to IIM, Lucknow. The three of us, jo, dodo n me are really happy for him. But we sure are gonna miss him! We have been friends for almost two years. And dodo moved upstairs to the fourth floor, away from our cubicle. It may not seem like a big deal. But we havent been called the Laughter Club for no reason.
8 of us had joined this project on the same day. Got trained in a conference room, together. Four of us somehow made it into one cube! Of the eight, one is in the US now. Aru left too, to the US. Another's in Uruguay. Psycho's been on the fourth floor for almost 2-3 months now. Diminishing numbers. Raj will leave soon for uruguay too. And dodo's left today, albeit a change of place. But I cant roll my chair over to her desk when I want to talk to her anymore. The times when we four forget about our systems and turn towards the center of the cube and chat away may just have come to an end. It probably wont be the 'most happening ;)' place anymore. Aw, well the three of us are still there, but its not the same!
Feels a lot like the Beginning of the End. Thats the worst time. Coz after the end of something, you would have something new to look forward to. But the period thats depressing is the In-Between!
Change. A word that fills you with excitement, trepidation, exhilaration and much more, all at the same time! How boring it would be, without change. Aint it great to make new friends? But then, why do they have to leave ;-( ?
*******************************************
Sorry guys, I am just depressed today.
Kiddo left today, for Ahmedabad. From there he will go on to IIM, Lucknow. The three of us, jo, dodo n me are really happy for him. But we sure are gonna miss him! We have been friends for almost two years. And dodo moved upstairs to the fourth floor, away from our cubicle. It may not seem like a big deal. But we havent been called the Laughter Club for no reason.
8 of us had joined this project on the same day. Got trained in a conference room, together. Four of us somehow made it into one cube! Of the eight, one is in the US now. Aru left too, to the US. Another's in Uruguay. Psycho's been on the fourth floor for almost 2-3 months now. Diminishing numbers. Raj will leave soon for uruguay too. And dodo's left today, albeit a change of place. But I cant roll my chair over to her desk when I want to talk to her anymore. The times when we four forget about our systems and turn towards the center of the cube and chat away may just have come to an end. It probably wont be the 'most happening ;)' place anymore. Aw, well the three of us are still there, but its not the same!
Feels a lot like the Beginning of the End. Thats the worst time. Coz after the end of something, you would have something new to look forward to. But the period thats depressing is the In-Between!
Change. A word that fills you with excitement, trepidation, exhilaration and much more, all at the same time! How boring it would be, without change. Aint it great to make new friends? But then, why do they have to leave ;-( ?
*******************************************
Sorry guys, I am just depressed today.
June 11, 2006
A Yawn Is Upon Us!
Now this is something you can never claim to have 'not' done, unless you are some kind of freak.
When you are listening intently to a harrowing tale that happened to your friend, damn it, the yawn sneaks up on you! And you try your best to swallow it lest it offend your friend. Futile, isnt it? Not that your friend would get offended, but you feel guilty for showing a sign of boredom in the middle of her/ his interesting tale. 'I think I need some oxygen, you know yawns are a sign of oxygen-deprivation?' you mumble hoping that you will be forgiven. Till you see your friend respond back with a yawn. Of course she will, its contagious!! :) :)
You are in class, listening to a teacher drone off in his sleep-inducing voice, and you are trying your best to make sure he doesn't see you yawn. Or you know what would happen. 'Rush, answer this: blah blah blaaaah blah blah?'
You blink, did he actually ask something? 'Er...'
'Go wash your face!'
You gleefully slip out of the class. Its not a bad thing always, you know, this yawning ;)
Have you ever tried to make the yawn as small as possible? What would happen is a very unseemly stretch of the skin in the lower jaw, which you would have to hide with your palm anyways. So much for that idea.
Imagine a room full of people at an important meeting, and then someone has the temerity to let out a yawn! And don't you just love seeing it spread around the room faster than the speed of thought??
The best place to yawn is definitely at home, with your friends or family around you. You can see yawns in their magnificient glory, accompanied by a nice stretch of the tired muscles, with the comfort of knowing you dont have to cover up!
Yawn!
When you are listening intently to a harrowing tale that happened to your friend, damn it, the yawn sneaks up on you! And you try your best to swallow it lest it offend your friend. Futile, isnt it? Not that your friend would get offended, but you feel guilty for showing a sign of boredom in the middle of her/ his interesting tale. 'I think I need some oxygen, you know yawns are a sign of oxygen-deprivation?' you mumble hoping that you will be forgiven. Till you see your friend respond back with a yawn. Of course she will, its contagious!! :) :)
You are in class, listening to a teacher drone off in his sleep-inducing voice, and you are trying your best to make sure he doesn't see you yawn. Or you know what would happen. 'Rush, answer this: blah blah blaaaah blah blah?'
You blink, did he actually ask something? 'Er...'
'Go wash your face!'
You gleefully slip out of the class. Its not a bad thing always, you know, this yawning ;)
Have you ever tried to make the yawn as small as possible? What would happen is a very unseemly stretch of the skin in the lower jaw, which you would have to hide with your palm anyways. So much for that idea.
Imagine a room full of people at an important meeting, and then someone has the temerity to let out a yawn! And don't you just love seeing it spread around the room faster than the speed of thought??
The best place to yawn is definitely at home, with your friends or family around you. You can see yawns in their magnificient glory, accompanied by a nice stretch of the tired muscles, with the comfort of knowing you dont have to cover up!
Yawn!
Through Her Eyes
Ever wondered why people take comfort in mundane conversations while in the midst of an unspeakable tragedy? Ever wondered why the most important people in your life are the ones you take for granted? Ever wondered if what you have set out to do is the right thing for you? Ever wondered why when all men are created equal, some are even more so?Ever wanted to look into someone's eyes and know their story?
I wanted to die. It was an awful time. I had no money, no job and a kid to support. A hungry, screaming child, no more than a few months old. I loved him to bits, but God help me, I wish I had died along with his father. There was a mortgage on the house, bills to pay, and the insurance policy was insufficient to cover it all. After all, who would have thought he would be plucked away from us, so soon?
Even now, I shudder every time I remember that night.
I had put the baby down to bed and had dozed off in the sofa as I waited for Rahul to come home. The shrill ring of the telephone woke me with a start. It was eleven in the night. Absently I wondered why Rahul was not yet home as I picked up the phone.
"Mrs Kapoor?" said a voice in clipped tones.
"Speaking. Who is this?" I said.
"Mrs Kapoor, I am.. uh the deputy inspector at the Banashankari police station. I hope you are sitting down m'am."
I sat down with a thud on the armchair. "What happened?" I rasped.
"Your husband was in an accident m'am. Could you come down to the DG Hospital please?"
At that exact moment the kid let out a piercing wail. But I could hear two voices, blending as one. I realized I was screaming too.
The caller forgotten, I left the receiver hang as I keened in acute misery.
The rest I vaguely remember. The visit to the hospital, seeing him like that, the funeral, everything seems a blur now. I just couldn't believe that this was happening to me. My friends took care of me for a while. But then they had to go back to their lives. We had no relatives. That was one of the many things that bound us together. That had bound us together, I correct myself.
I found myself in desperate need of help. And wondering if I was specially chosen for the 'Sad Life' program or everyone else was there in the same boat.
With such thoughts running through my head I walked down to the nearby grocery stall. I had to haggle with the street vendors now, instead of buying vegetables at the Greens n Grains outlet. Brushing my thoughts away, I looked about me. Straight into the eyes of a beggar on the street. A girl about ten, she looked at me and I felt as though she could see my soul. She gave me a small smile and moved on. Without asking me for any money. I found myself wondering how her life was.
Living on the street
I saw the lady with an unmistakable aura of sadness surrounding her, enveloping her and giving her a silent dignity. God knows what had put that sorrow in her, but she should take heart in the fact that she was alive and probably had a roof on her head. 'Cause it doesn't help to dwell on the past, as the future will be worse if you don't act now. Amma had always tried to drum that into me, I remember wistfully.
We used to live in the slums. Appa worked on a construction site nearby. There was always a building being put up somewhere or the other on the stretches of the Ring Road. Amma worked as a maid in the surrounding houses. We had some semblance of a family. Then Appa got into some bad company, according to Amma and he started coming home late. And smelling filthy. We were used to the filth around the slum, but the stench would permeate our senses. Then he started taking money from Amma, and if she refused, he would beat her up.
Then the day came when my nightmare became reality. He killed her, while he was inebriated. Appa went to jail, and I was left all alone. Now I am reduced to sleeping on the streets. Depending on the charity of strangers. They say there is a mid day meal program at the government school nearby. Maybe I will go there today, I am particularly hungry.
I look back at the sad woman on the street, and want to whisper to her that things could be far worse. I see her looking at a man in a cab, a look of longing on her face. For the comfort of a man, or the AC car, I cannot tell. I wonder if the man in the cab is happy. I maybe young, but I know that everyone has problems.
An enviable life?
The cab stopped at the signal. I stretched and looked about me. There was a woman looking directly at me. I found it disconcerting. She looked incredibly sad. "No one's life is easy, is it?" I look at my colleague as I ask him.
He looks strangely at me. "What's up with you, mate?"
I shrug and look back straight ahead. It has been 26 hours since I last slept, my thoughts must be getting haywire. In this age of materialism, barely anyone talks about problems that are not his own. For me, it brings back all the things that I don't want to think about.
My life doesn't seem to have any meaning. Often I stay at office for long periods of time, like I did today. My time is not my own. ? It's the age of consumerism and customer satisfaction. I have learned to be more appreciative of the waiters in the pizza places and coffee shops, for now I know just how they would feel if a customer got too cranky.
Staring at the computer, knowingly deteriorating my health - the hunched back, failing eyesight; such problems will hit us even before we reach middle age. There's so much stress on the job, graying heads on 20 somethings is not an uncommon sight. We have to constantly upgrade our skills, what is used today will be outdated tomorrow. There are the most burnouts in our profession, by the time we are 30, most would have left the software profession entirely. They become yoga teachers, start schools or take up community service - anything that's as far apart from the 'software' tag.
The worst part is staying in a different city from your parents. It is incredibly lonely out here. Most of my friends are scattered across the country, and quite a few are abroad. During the week I bury myself in work, the weekends are hard to bear. I find myself roaming the city alone, or just staying cooped up at home. Sometimes I end up visiting office during the weekends, inviting scorn from my teammates. I am termed a geek, who has no social life. But who would like to come to office on weekends if they had better things to do?
The pay cheque is supposed to make all this seem worth it, but why do I feel I am paying the price, not the other way around? I look back at the sad lady. Her attention is elsewhere. Curious, I look around till I find where her attention is riveted. I look at a woman standing in a bus next to the cab; the bus is so crowded I feel a quiver of discomfort at the thought of the comfort of my AC cab. Life doesn't seem so bad, after all.
Living with the in laws:
I feel someone watching me. It's too crowded in the bus, as always. I look out of the window and see a lady. She has a look on her face that tells you that she is sad. Do I have the same look too? I wonder.
I remember the fight I had with my mother in law in the morning. Not an unusual occurrence, but difficult to cope with, nonetheless.
I come from a lower middle class family. And my husband's family is of the opinion that they did me a huge favour by taking me into their home. I have to listen to their abuse everyday. My husband tries, at times, to support me. But the rest of them override him. He is not a strong man, I'm afraid. My mother in law runs the household with an iron fist. I have to hand over the meager salary I earn as a teacher, to the old crone every month. And then if I need anything, I will have to grovel at her feet, literally.
She has another son. His wife is prone to illness, so the household work falls on my shoulders. I get up at five in the morning everyday, to cook for the family. Oh, I have to cook their lunch too. Also, Appaji's special dietary needs have to be catered to.
I then have to clean the house. Unfailingly. We cannot afford a maidservant, apparently. With about four incomes and Appaji's pension, I don't see the logic of that. But what is my life experience? I ask myself sarcastically. I have become so used to the sarcasm in the house, I use it on myself now.
After cleaning the house, I have to get all the kids into the bathroom, help them get dressed and feed them their breakfast. All this, while my sweet sister in law is dozing in her room. I maybe one of the few people who actually wish for ill health.
I am not allowed to own a two-wheeler. 'Oh the cost of petrol is going UP! Take the bus instead. It is cheaper' The shrill voice of Ammaji echoes in my head.
That is how I get to travel in this cramped, miserable bus. I only wish my life were easier, somehow. I look back at the lady outside; she turns away to look at an old man looking quite lost, obviously all alone in the world. At the least I have a family to speak of; I wonder how the old man copes.
A lonely life:
It takes me longer to cross the signal lights now; there is no one to lead the way. I feel curious eyes on me, sometimes I feel their pity. It takes getting used to, this unsolicited pity from strangers. I look around as I wait for the pedestrian light to turn green. My eyesight is not so good these days. I see a lady looking at me, or I think she's looking at me. She has a sad look on her face. I shuffle on my feet uncomfortably. The arthritis doesn't make things easy for me either.
My daily routine doesn't vary much. Every morning, the sun shafts in through a break in the curtains. I unwillingly open my eyes. It's really appealing to lie-in. That way I don't have to pretend that I do have something to do. There doesn't seem to be anything significant filling up my life anymore.
The mirror seems to mock me. I see my youthful face, hair flopping about. I close my eyes for a second as I remember the happiness on that face. When I open my eyes, I reel back from the face that I see. A receding hairline, tired eyes and a wrinkled face. I close my eyes with my hand, trying hard to remember the transition from one face to the other. It is a blur.
I was so busy with everything else, I didn't realize that age was catching up on me. And then suddenly a year ago that realization came. When my lovely wife died in her sleep. At fifty, death is something we never thought much about. Of course we planned for it, but never actually paid much attention to what a wrench that could be. Every night when I go to bed after an unfulfilling day, I pray fervently for death. I imagine it will be like a beam of sunlight enveloping me, caressing me with It is warmth, and cocooning me in it. But then I wake up, into the reality that is my life.
My granddaughters had visited just a few days ago. Their visits are too few and too far in between. I understand. I didn't pay constant attention to my grandparents when I was young either. My neighbour seems to get far more visits from her children and grandchildren. There is an aura of happiness in her face; I wish I could borrow some of it from her. As I ponder that, I look for the lady that set me on my train of thought. She is now looking at a train that is passing by the signal.
As you sow, so you will never reap:
This is not the first time I am coming to the city, and not the first time by train either. But the sights and sounds have changed drastically since my last visit. The pace of life seems faster now. But in comparison to my sleepy village, any city would seem so much faster.
I look out of the train as we pass by a signal and I find not many faces are turned toward the train in sheer joy or surprise. At the village, boys still run after a train, or wave excitedly. The city folks must be so used to trains and planes, every means of comfort is taken for granted here. I wonder how many people have even seen a village in their lives. As the train slows down almost to a halt, I happen to make eye contact with a lady standing by the side of the road, and her eyes seem to see into my very soul. Surprisingly, I feel the same. She seems incredibly sad, that much I can gather. That reminds me of my own reason for visiting the city.
I am a farmer. The last two years have been especially bad for us. First came the drought, and then the last year saw a surplus of rainfall. The crop of both the years was destroyed. I am seeing increasing reports of suicides by farmers.
I doubt if my family will have to resort to that, yet. But if the meeting with the agricultural bank doesn't go well this year and the government doesn't do anything to help us, it might well become an option. I till the soil, carefully sow the seeds, but more often than not, I don't reap the fruits of my labour. Nature's fury always catches us at the wrong end. And even if we did have a good harvest, it is extremely difficult to protect it from thieves or prevent it from being destroyed by pests.
We can handle that. But the middlemen bleed us like leeches. They make a hefty amount buying our produce at dirt prices and hiking it up in the market. Sometimes I feel like giving it all up and moving to the city. But this is my land, my ancestors have been the proud owners of it, and I will not have it any other way.
I hope my children too feel the same way after they grow up and finish their education. I don't want them to join fancy jobs and think they are too high and mighty for the back breaking work of the soil. I hope the meeting today goes well. My livelihood depends on it. As the train moves away, I wonder what the sad lady is thinking.
Epiphany:
"Would you like some more carrots?" a voice breaks into my consciousness. I am slightly dazed as I look at the earnest and slightly worried face of the vegetable vendor.
"Are you ok?"she asks, concerned. "You have been rooted to the same spot for the past few minutes".
"I am fine, thank you." I realize I actually mean it. It's the first time in a long while that I have felt 'fine'.
I begin the trudge back home and try to make sense of what happened in the past few minutes. It was as though I could read their souls in the few seconds that I met their eyes. It's something I have never experienced before. I doubt if I am beginning to have psychic powers. Then how did I manage to look into their eyes and read their stories?
I try to catch the eyes of everyone, anyone on the street. A couple of people meet my eyes and look away. But I don't see anything, or feel the emotions that they are feeling. What happened at the signal must be a one off occurrence then.
Slowly my heart settles on the one plausible explanation. I had been given those minutes of psychic ability to shake me up from the slump I had been in. I was wallowing in self-pity and helplessness instead of moving on.
The nameless strangers somehow helped me get on with my life. Their lives were filled with problems too, but they found courage and hope. They were looking at the silver lining, and trying to make their lives better, instead of being bitter about what life had thrown their way. They looked at each other and took comfort in the fact that their circumstances were perhaps not as bad as someone else's seemed. Maybe the man in the cab took to teaching lessons at the slum and met the little girl. Maybe the old man struck up a friendship with the lady next door. Maybe the farmer got the loan. Maybe. My three minutes of clairvoyance did not return again.
I got myself a job in a school nearby. Teaching seems to have been my vocation all along, I just needed a tragedy to find out. My son goes to the same school now. We lead a happy life. Life is for the living, and one has to let go of the dead. I miss Rahul of course, but then life has to go on. And whoever said life's fair?
May 30, 2006
Accident
Nope, not the name of a Danielle Steele book but a real life drama that my friend experienced yday. Before you ask, he's alright. What happened was that an Inspector of Police hit his bike. 'Uh Oh' To know what happens if you tangle with the corrupt, morally bankrupt police officers in our country, read on.... (In his own words)
Here it goes........When I was on my way to work today morning at about 9:45am. I was on my bike. A Bajar Pulsar 180 DTSI. And I was standing at a traffic light at the Cauvery Theatre. All of a sudden I felt my bike move. Someone from behind had hit me! I would say tapped my bike from behind. I turn around to see who it was. and find myself looking at the Jeep of the Inspector of Police!! He was trying to sqeeze through a small gap and in the process kissed my stationary bikes exhaust on the right of the bike. The Inspector himself was at the wheel. He has a small boy, maybe aged around 8 yrs old. No one else in the Jeep. Just the Inspector and this boy.
Then I requested him to be more careful and had to use sign language as he was sitting inside his jeep and I had my helmet on. But that Inspector was not ready to listen and to agree that its his fault. He argued. I could not take it anymore. The signal was still red. We had a good audience around us. I pulled the side stand of my bike, parked my bike right in the middle of the road. Basically the same place where I was hit. Got down the bike and walked up to the window of this inspectors jeep. I argued about his careless driving and told him it was his fault. But he did not agree. He showed arrogance. I took off my helmet and continued to argue and raised my voice against him. He got down from his jeep too. He used his voice to overpower me. But my tempo was too high for anyone to cool it down so I too fought. He pushed me to the side with his hands asking me to get my vehicle to the side. To be more precise he manhandled me in the middle of the road!!! I refused to move my bike from front of his jeep thinking that this person would speed away. Then there was a war of words. Yes 'good' words.
I pulled to the side. He came to the side too. I dialed the 100 Law and Order helpline. Tried it once. It did not go through. It was engaged! Tried it the second time.. It went through and the lady who picked the phone acted like she could hardly listen. I explained that I was hit from the behind by a Police Inspector. By the time I could give her more details of the spot and the name of the officer the line was dropped!!! Think about when the situation is worse and the police helpline telephone connections behave this way!!! Pathetic state of affairs!! Pity this city's police helpline. I could not get through that line again for the 10 mins that I tried.
I took down the vehicle number of the Police Inspector. KA-02 G 270. The name of the Inspector was B.S. Ashok Kumar. I understand that he is the Inspector of Police of the TilakNagar Circle.
After seeing the chaos here the two traffic policemen at the traffic signal ahead came to our rescue. The traffic policemen spoke with the Inspector first while he was sitting in his jeep. They heard his version of the story. I could not hear what the conversation between them was as I was way behind. His jeep was parked ahead of my bike. And I was busy trying to get to the police helpline(100) number. Getting more and more irritated for the fact that the line was not getting connected.
Then the traffic policemen got to me. Took down my number. I told them my version of the story. And then I understood that the Inspector was going to the nearest traffice police station to file an FIR against me. And I was told that if I wanted to file an FIR I had to go to the same Traffic Police station on New BEL Road. Which was about 2 kms away from the accident spot.
The inspectors Jeep fled from the scene. I then told the traffice police men that I would also file an FIR against him. I went to the station on New BEL road. I noticed that the Inspectors jeep was parked outside. Number plate read KA-02 G 270. I knew the culprit was getting his work done by filing the FIR against me. When I entered this small old station with slanting asbestos roof I saw the Inspector sitting on one of the chairs narrating his version of the incident to the person on a table writing down his story in kannada.
I waited, thinking I would get my turn too. After about 3 mins I asked whether my version also would be written in the same FIR. The person who was writing the FIR for the Inspector said yes. And said this is all that would be entered into his(station's) records. Then I insisted that I would file another FIR against the Inspector. I was given a blank sheet of paper and was asked to write the FIR myself. Unfortunately I didnt have a pen. And I requested for one from the constables/officers in that station. All of them refused to help me with a pen!! They instead abused me verbally and indicated that their 'pens' were all busy and they didnt have one for me. I waited. As soon as I saw one of them free up their pens I asked for it. Reluctantly, I was given the pen. Then I started to write my version of the story that had happened at the site of the incident. In about 10 mins I was ready with my FIR report.
Then I had to wait as the Inspector was getting his 'respect' from these lower ranked officers. They were not ready to listen to my part of the story and were busy 'licking the inspectors feet' by showering their respect to this person who did not have the least courtesy to behave decently at the site of the incident.
Anyways, the inspectors FIR was almost getting ready. I was proof reading my report. I noticed I had to make some correction. Well I didn't not have a pen now to make that correction and I had to ask the officer, yes the one who was not using the pen at that time, in the station to lend me one. He instead humiliated me by asking how many times I needed the pen!! And he refused to hand me a pen. I did not ask the second time. I simply walked out of the police station and borrowed a pen from a person outside who was having tea at a road side tea stall next to the police station.
I got back into station. I wanted to mention the rank of this inspector. When I asked him for his rank, he as usual, refused to let me know. Instead he humiliated me again by saying I should have known it by now and should have been smart enough. I did not want to leave the mention of this incident also in the FIR. I included this detail. Finishing my correction and addition of the new info, I was ready to submit the report. In this mean time another Inspector. Mr Nagaraj, I think that was his name, from the the Sadashivnagar police station came down to this traffic police station. The culprit, yes Mr Ashok Kumar, and Mr Nagaraj had a word. I was told that I had to accompany Mr Nagaraj to another station. Please note I hadnt yet filed my traffic police FIR. I was taken aback as to why I had to go to another police station without reporting my case. I asked Mr Nagaraj where one needs to file the traffic police FIR. I was redirected to the same Sadashivnagar traffic police station. I stayed back. I got back into the police station. Meanwhile Mr Ashok Kumar was getting ready to leave the station. He and the little kid got back into the Jeep and left the station. I could not say anything. The SI of this traffice police station was not present at this time and infact he was not around all this while.
Along with the details of the incident that happened at the accident spot my FIR also contained the misbehaviour displayed by the officers of this police station. I waited.. I waited for over 20 mins for the SI to get to the station. In the meantime I was clicking photos of events around me. Fortunately I was carrying a camera with me. But whats unfortunate is that it did not strike me that I could have capture the events at the accident spot.
Anyways, no regrets. After about 20 mins the SI arrived. Looked at the two FIRs that were lying on his desk. One from my side and the other from Mr Ashok Kumar. It was learnt that Mr Ashok Kumar has not revealed his rank in the FIR!!! There is no mention that he is an Inspector! This was bought to the notice of the person who was writing the FIR by the SI. I wasn't too surprised as I knew the inspector wanted to hide his identity. And I was advised that I leave my vehicle behind as they would require the vehicles to inspect the damage and carry out an investigation. But guess what, Mr Ashok Kumar has already fled from this place!! His jeep is not there too!! I was told that I could take my vehicle with me and I was asked to provide them with my home address, phone number, employer details etc so that they could call me, if required, to inspect the vehicle.
I was provided an acknowledgement for my FIR. After which I was told that I had to get to another police station. The Law and Order(L&O) police station of Sadashivnagar. I was accompanied by a constable from that L&O station. When I went there I was told that another FIR has been filed against me. Reason, I used foul language against the Inspector! Now as I confessed earlier we did have a heated argument and both of us used foul language. But now this is official. Its recorded against me. And I could not simply sit there. The Officer at this L&O station was to give me a notice. A notice stating that I had to get to this station sometime when I was free to speak with the Inspector. Mr Nagaraj. I smelt something fishy here. But I quickly realized that I have a report against me and I do not have counter report against the Inspector, Mr Ashok Kumar. I insisted that I would file a FIR against Mr Ashok Kumar. And so I did. I was provided an acknowledgement and also the notice to appear at this police station whenever I was free. Since I do not know how to read kannada too well, I took pictures of this FIR using my digital camera. Unfortunately I had not taken the picture of the FIR lodged at the traffice police station. The officer at this station was kind enough to explain what exactly had happened and what might happen, moving forward. He did mention something about an IPC case and stuff. But I could not get most of the details.
Then I had to leave as my job of filing another counter FIR at the L&O station was done.
I picked up my bike and headed back to where I was going at 9:45 in the morning...My Work!! End of Story.
I am sure more will unfold as the days go by. I hope to keep a record of all this.Oh yes, before I forget I am attaching some of the photos that I took all through this 'series of unfortunate events'.Please feel free to share this mail with any of your friends, who need to be made aware that one should not bend in front of such law breakers. Whoever it might be!!
The worst of all cases, as I look at it, is when the law makers themselves break the law!!
Thank you for reading through this little experience of mine right till the end. :)Have a nice day!
Cheers!
Sham
View pics
Here it goes........When I was on my way to work today morning at about 9:45am. I was on my bike. A Bajar Pulsar 180 DTSI. And I was standing at a traffic light at the Cauvery Theatre. All of a sudden I felt my bike move. Someone from behind had hit me! I would say tapped my bike from behind. I turn around to see who it was. and find myself looking at the Jeep of the Inspector of Police!! He was trying to sqeeze through a small gap and in the process kissed my stationary bikes exhaust on the right of the bike. The Inspector himself was at the wheel. He has a small boy, maybe aged around 8 yrs old. No one else in the Jeep. Just the Inspector and this boy.
Then I requested him to be more careful and had to use sign language as he was sitting inside his jeep and I had my helmet on. But that Inspector was not ready to listen and to agree that its his fault. He argued. I could not take it anymore. The signal was still red. We had a good audience around us. I pulled the side stand of my bike, parked my bike right in the middle of the road. Basically the same place where I was hit. Got down the bike and walked up to the window of this inspectors jeep. I argued about his careless driving and told him it was his fault. But he did not agree. He showed arrogance. I took off my helmet and continued to argue and raised my voice against him. He got down from his jeep too. He used his voice to overpower me. But my tempo was too high for anyone to cool it down so I too fought. He pushed me to the side with his hands asking me to get my vehicle to the side. To be more precise he manhandled me in the middle of the road!!! I refused to move my bike from front of his jeep thinking that this person would speed away. Then there was a war of words. Yes 'good' words.
I pulled to the side. He came to the side too. I dialed the 100 Law and Order helpline. Tried it once. It did not go through. It was engaged! Tried it the second time.. It went through and the lady who picked the phone acted like she could hardly listen. I explained that I was hit from the behind by a Police Inspector. By the time I could give her more details of the spot and the name of the officer the line was dropped!!! Think about when the situation is worse and the police helpline telephone connections behave this way!!! Pathetic state of affairs!! Pity this city's police helpline. I could not get through that line again for the 10 mins that I tried.
I took down the vehicle number of the Police Inspector. KA-02 G 270. The name of the Inspector was B.S. Ashok Kumar. I understand that he is the Inspector of Police of the TilakNagar Circle.
After seeing the chaos here the two traffic policemen at the traffic signal ahead came to our rescue. The traffic policemen spoke with the Inspector first while he was sitting in his jeep. They heard his version of the story. I could not hear what the conversation between them was as I was way behind. His jeep was parked ahead of my bike. And I was busy trying to get to the police helpline(100) number. Getting more and more irritated for the fact that the line was not getting connected.
Then the traffic policemen got to me. Took down my number. I told them my version of the story. And then I understood that the Inspector was going to the nearest traffice police station to file an FIR against me. And I was told that if I wanted to file an FIR I had to go to the same Traffic Police station on New BEL Road. Which was about 2 kms away from the accident spot.
The inspectors Jeep fled from the scene. I then told the traffice police men that I would also file an FIR against him. I went to the station on New BEL road. I noticed that the Inspectors jeep was parked outside. Number plate read KA-02 G 270. I knew the culprit was getting his work done by filing the FIR against me. When I entered this small old station with slanting asbestos roof I saw the Inspector sitting on one of the chairs narrating his version of the incident to the person on a table writing down his story in kannada.
I waited, thinking I would get my turn too. After about 3 mins I asked whether my version also would be written in the same FIR. The person who was writing the FIR for the Inspector said yes. And said this is all that would be entered into his(station's) records. Then I insisted that I would file another FIR against the Inspector. I was given a blank sheet of paper and was asked to write the FIR myself. Unfortunately I didnt have a pen. And I requested for one from the constables/officers in that station. All of them refused to help me with a pen!! They instead abused me verbally and indicated that their 'pens' were all busy and they didnt have one for me. I waited. As soon as I saw one of them free up their pens I asked for it. Reluctantly, I was given the pen. Then I started to write my version of the story that had happened at the site of the incident. In about 10 mins I was ready with my FIR report.
Then I had to wait as the Inspector was getting his 'respect' from these lower ranked officers. They were not ready to listen to my part of the story and were busy 'licking the inspectors feet' by showering their respect to this person who did not have the least courtesy to behave decently at the site of the incident.
Anyways, the inspectors FIR was almost getting ready. I was proof reading my report. I noticed I had to make some correction. Well I didn't not have a pen now to make that correction and I had to ask the officer, yes the one who was not using the pen at that time, in the station to lend me one. He instead humiliated me by asking how many times I needed the pen!! And he refused to hand me a pen. I did not ask the second time. I simply walked out of the police station and borrowed a pen from a person outside who was having tea at a road side tea stall next to the police station.
I got back into station. I wanted to mention the rank of this inspector. When I asked him for his rank, he as usual, refused to let me know. Instead he humiliated me again by saying I should have known it by now and should have been smart enough. I did not want to leave the mention of this incident also in the FIR. I included this detail. Finishing my correction and addition of the new info, I was ready to submit the report. In this mean time another Inspector. Mr Nagaraj, I think that was his name, from the the Sadashivnagar police station came down to this traffic police station. The culprit, yes Mr Ashok Kumar, and Mr Nagaraj had a word. I was told that I had to accompany Mr Nagaraj to another station. Please note I hadnt yet filed my traffic police FIR. I was taken aback as to why I had to go to another police station without reporting my case. I asked Mr Nagaraj where one needs to file the traffic police FIR. I was redirected to the same Sadashivnagar traffic police station. I stayed back. I got back into the police station. Meanwhile Mr Ashok Kumar was getting ready to leave the station. He and the little kid got back into the Jeep and left the station. I could not say anything. The SI of this traffice police station was not present at this time and infact he was not around all this while.
Along with the details of the incident that happened at the accident spot my FIR also contained the misbehaviour displayed by the officers of this police station. I waited.. I waited for over 20 mins for the SI to get to the station. In the meantime I was clicking photos of events around me. Fortunately I was carrying a camera with me. But whats unfortunate is that it did not strike me that I could have capture the events at the accident spot.
Anyways, no regrets. After about 20 mins the SI arrived. Looked at the two FIRs that were lying on his desk. One from my side and the other from Mr Ashok Kumar. It was learnt that Mr Ashok Kumar has not revealed his rank in the FIR!!! There is no mention that he is an Inspector! This was bought to the notice of the person who was writing the FIR by the SI. I wasn't too surprised as I knew the inspector wanted to hide his identity. And I was advised that I leave my vehicle behind as they would require the vehicles to inspect the damage and carry out an investigation. But guess what, Mr Ashok Kumar has already fled from this place!! His jeep is not there too!! I was told that I could take my vehicle with me and I was asked to provide them with my home address, phone number, employer details etc so that they could call me, if required, to inspect the vehicle.
I was provided an acknowledgement for my FIR. After which I was told that I had to get to another police station. The Law and Order(L&O) police station of Sadashivnagar. I was accompanied by a constable from that L&O station. When I went there I was told that another FIR has been filed against me. Reason, I used foul language against the Inspector! Now as I confessed earlier we did have a heated argument and both of us used foul language. But now this is official. Its recorded against me. And I could not simply sit there. The Officer at this L&O station was to give me a notice. A notice stating that I had to get to this station sometime when I was free to speak with the Inspector. Mr Nagaraj. I smelt something fishy here. But I quickly realized that I have a report against me and I do not have counter report against the Inspector, Mr Ashok Kumar. I insisted that I would file a FIR against Mr Ashok Kumar. And so I did. I was provided an acknowledgement and also the notice to appear at this police station whenever I was free. Since I do not know how to read kannada too well, I took pictures of this FIR using my digital camera. Unfortunately I had not taken the picture of the FIR lodged at the traffice police station. The officer at this station was kind enough to explain what exactly had happened and what might happen, moving forward. He did mention something about an IPC case and stuff. But I could not get most of the details.
Then I had to leave as my job of filing another counter FIR at the L&O station was done.
I picked up my bike and headed back to where I was going at 9:45 in the morning...My Work!! End of Story.
I am sure more will unfold as the days go by. I hope to keep a record of all this.Oh yes, before I forget I am attaching some of the photos that I took all through this 'series of unfortunate events'.Please feel free to share this mail with any of your friends, who need to be made aware that one should not bend in front of such law breakers. Whoever it might be!!
The worst of all cases, as I look at it, is when the law makers themselves break the law!!
Thank you for reading through this little experience of mine right till the end. :)Have a nice day!
Cheers!
Sham
View pics
May 22, 2006
News!
hey folks!
I got a medal for my dance performance in the Summer Funk 06 of Shiamak's SDIPA Institute, yesterday. And I got a mail today informing me that a story I had written 'End of Tunnel' (in this blog) has been given a special mention in a contest. Yippeeeeee!!
Ciao,
rush
I got a medal for my dance performance in the Summer Funk 06 of Shiamak's SDIPA Institute, yesterday. And I got a mail today informing me that a story I had written 'End of Tunnel' (in this blog) has been given a special mention in a contest. Yippeeeeee!!
Ciao,
rush
May 10, 2006
Journal
This trip had been in the planning stage for oh-so-long. And finally we were on our way. Diminished in number, and in stature. The AC Tempo traveller became a non AC one due to sudden unavailability of the one we had booked. There were supposed to be twelve of us, and that became nine. But dodo sure wasnt complaining, esp since she bagged the last seat and was probably the only one who slept comfortably.
As we settled into our rooms, srinath entered ours and sneezed. A huge ball of mucus fell down on the bed. Wait a minute, it was lavender in color. Sure wasnt mucus. But definitely icky. Su, the proud owner of the slime, hung on to it the rest of the trip. Throwing it at people. But of course, the cover of the slime-thingy said 'Suitable for: Five Years and above.' He qualified.
After lunch, our guide/ owner of the guest house was briefing us about the rafting. Do not wear rings. Wear sports shoes. Pratima kept insisting that the windows of the guest house should be kept locked at night, to avoid snakes. So someone asked the guide if there were any snakes. 'Sure' he pointed in the direction of the fields behind the guest house, 'you will find plenty of King Cobras there.' We were truly in the midst of the jungle. No network (mobile). No landline connection.
'Elephants?'
'Once in a while.' He came back to the rafting trip. I ventured, 'Crocodiles?' in jest.
'A few.'
Shocked stares. 'You mean they allow us to raft in crocodile infected waters?'
'No m'am, they aren't found in the place where the rafting takes place.'
Big consolation.
We left for the Jungle Lodges, from where a jeep would take the nine of us to the rafting starting point. It was an open air jeep. An unexpected bonus. We stood most of the one hour ride, quite forgetting the crocodiles part. Finally, we reached the starting point.
John, with a British accent, took over, made us form groups, told us that we were to travel in 6 rafts. There were 40 of us, all set to do our bit of adventure sports. Jo( separated from Su), Shashi, Nitesh, Raful and me were in one raft, headed by John and another chap, white male caucasian, was with us. His name was Manu. We will come back to him in a mo. Dodo, Su, Parts and Srinath were in Bobo's raft, along with a couple. Bobo was from Sweden. And was just three days old in River Kali.
Life jacket, helmet and the oar adorned, we set off. Not so fast. The safety instructions. Forward paddle, Backward paddle, Hold on, Get down and Hold on, Over right, Over left. As if that weren't enough, we were told how to swim if we were approaching a rock, how to pull someone from the water onto the raft, what to do if a raft overturns, et al. I was having visions of the raft overturning and me forgetting all the instructions. Jo apparently, was thinking the same thing of herself.
Then came the customary dips in the water. It was really cold, and the river bed was not within reach of our legs. John took Manu's glares before his dip, and commented on how expensive looking they were. Not a moment too soon, for one eye piece popped out in his hand as he said it. Manu had bought it at a two dollar store. No wonder!
Su was more worried about his pants slipping off, than anything else while taking his dip. Thank god the procedure to pull someone back into the boat was to pull the lifejacket, not the hands, else he would have been hanging on to his pants, instead of the savior's hands.
John went around telling each raft their position, and we were the last, and Bobo's just before us. The first rapid was upon us before we knew it. John told us it was the biggest rapid in the entire rafting section. We were feeling quite brave after that, till he added that there were difficult ones up ahead.
Forward paddle, backward paddle.. Get down and hold on! was all we heard. In the lull of conversation, Jo and I tried making conversation with Manu. He was sooooooooo cute!!! When he got a leaf stuck near his eye, both of us pointed it out to him. Like he couldnt see it! ;)
Bobo, as I mentioned, was very new, and almost lost his way a couple of times, besides getting stuck on a rock, and teaching his rafters a Swedish war chant. He asked the Dodo, Parts, Srinath and Su if they were couples. They shook their heads in denial, and quite forgot what they were. Finally one of them said ' Just Friends', to Bobo's disbelieving grin.
I asked Manu, 'how did you get that name?' you know, him being a caucasian and all. 'Long story' he said, too bad we didnt get to hear it :(
John is married to an Indian, and stays in Bangalore, and holds a PIO card. The only difference between him and us, he said, was the skin colour, and swimming abilities - his being better, of course !
Too soon, the rafting trip was done. One and a half hours went by in a flash. And we were soaking wet. Parts whispered to Jo about Su's pants getting loose in the water. And made a claim to the colour of his chaddis.. Su was within hearing distance, and proudly pulled down his pants to give them both a closer look. Not all the way down, thankfully. Black Jockey, if you were wondering (not that I looked)!
John and Manu hitched a ride in our jeep. No complaints from me n jo. :) All of us talked about Bangalore's traffic, and Manu was complaining about how he takes one minute to get to work, in Dandeli! grrrrrrrr.
On our way back to the guesthouse, Jo's singaporean hat was used as a lampshade, pirate cap, and also as a face-cover for those who wanted to sleep. We had a campfire outside the guesthouse, and each one was made to dance, except for Raful. Su started off with a Nagin dance, Dodo did a lovely imitation of 'Kya bolti tu' and Pratima rocked with her hop-skip and jump to the tune of 'Mummy...' around Su !
We were all determined to stay awake, so a few ghost stories/ encounters made the rounds. Which left Jo quite scared of walking back to the guest house alone ;)
There were two bedrooms and a huge hall in the guest house. Jo n Prat persuaded the guys to sleep in the hall( on the mattresses, silly!) and they went to the room, quite pleased with themselves on having bagged it. Till they saw the undies displayed on the window railings. In all shapes, sizes and colours. They tried speculating on the owner's, apparently. We shall let it rest right there!
Srinath woke up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep coz of the pain in his rowing arm. He went to Jo's room to ask for a tablet, and was quite scandalised on seeing them both sleeping, ah well, quite next to each other; and almost retreated from the room. Then he realised that both Jo n Prat had been given just one pillow between them, and went back to the room to get a painkiller from Jo.
After many flip flops on the plan for Sunday, it was finally decided that we go to Yana, along with stopovers at a waterfall and a religious place. The waterfall was quite a disappointment, as we couldnt get into the water and we could only take pics of it from a cliff. The religious place we went to was much the same, with shivalingas that apparently are formed all by themselves, which looked quite improbable. Su went to a guru and performed a pooja, probably keeping his progeny in mind, and came back with the story that a king was asked to build all these shivalingas so he could have a kid.
We set off for Yana, thinking that the most fun apart from the rafting trip had actually been the travelling, in part due to the scorching sun. Lunch and icecreams at Sirasi, with Su purpotedly trying to kill Jo by giving her one that was well past its expiry date - the icecream, i mean. But we know otherwise! :-P
We had to trek 3 kms to reach Yana, all of it through the jungle, with Srinath and Shashi prodding us on, sometimes with sticks, saying that we had to walk faster as we had to leave the place before sunset. With Su and Rahul making mating calls (probably to each other) hoping for a peek at wildlife, and a gal(who shall not be named here) wanting to take a leak, we somehow made the three kms, and then from just behind a rock, when we were quite tired of all the walking, pops out the mountain. Yana. So beautiful, definitely worth the while. (if thats an expression)
There was a temple set in the mountain, and the poojary told us that many people had tried researching about the mountain, as to how it came about (looking as it does) and no one had a satisfactory answer. According to lore, Shiva kills the demon brothers( i forget their names) and Shiva and Parvati and their followers, took up the mountain forms. There are 63 such rock/ mountain formations in Yana. During the british rule, many uttar kannada followers would make a journey to the temple. When asked by the britishers, they would say 'naavu yaana ge hogthaidhiri'(obviously not d exact words - meaning 'we are on a yatra') and the britishers thought that yaana was the name of the place and named it on the map as such. Thats how the name came to be.
The poojary also showed us the outline of a watery shivalinga that is formed by a steady flow of water, you can actually make out the snake, the moon and the ganges, all in that watery outline. The water flow is constant, that is it never increases at the time of flood or decreases during drought. :) There is a pathway around these rocks which actually is a pradakshina around the temple, which took us through a series of cave like rock formations.
The only problem about the place was its, well, basic amenities with regards to the loos. It was uh well, quite inaccessible by foot, even with raful trying to clear a path, and looked quite disused sitting about ten feet higher than ground level. We shall not reveal how the problem was solved :-P
Then started the trudge back to the tempo traveller. And the exhausting journey back. Dinner at shimoga. Oh I left out the wonderful music collection we had. Himesh reshammaiya and no one else the whole of the first day. CD courtesy: Su. rather, su's bro. Jaggu uncle (driver) had a vcd, of shaadi se pehle. We watched probably 40 mins of it. Not worth a watch. As for the music, we would like never to hear himesh reshammaiya again ;) Thankfully, there were a few songs of Rang De Basanti too. Raful had a collection of old hindi songs and their originals in english! Quite disappointing to know that most of the songs we love, are all lifted tunes. :(
We reached Bangalore! at around 4.30 in the morning, and delivered right outside our homes. Lovely trip, and i hope prat will upload all the snaps before the year ends!
April 28, 2006
Bad Day
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh.. Holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the brink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
***************************************************
Could someone mail me this song please????
it comes on American Idol a lot, whenver someone leaves d show, i mean...
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh.. Holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the brink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
***************************************************
Could someone mail me this song please????
it comes on American Idol a lot, whenver someone leaves d show, i mean...
I Hope You Dance!
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
- [ Lee Ann Womack ]
*******************************************
Isnt this a lovely song?
I hope you dance too, I know I will.
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
- [ Lee Ann Womack ]
*******************************************
Isnt this a lovely song?
I hope you dance too, I know I will.
April 27, 2006
A Lost Love
Lay a whisper.. on my pillow,
leave the winter.. on the ground.
I wake up lonely,
there’s air of silence.. in the bedroom
and all around...
It has been a long time since I even thought of him. But sometimes, the memories just wont go away. Like now. It's the eve of his birthday. Last year, it was one of the best times we had. I had surprised him at his house with a cake on the stroke of twelve. All our friends were there too. He wasn't expecting a party, and I was so proud of myself for keeping it a secret. A smile steals across my face now as I think of that night.
touch me now,
I close my eyes
and dream away.
I loved going on his bike, late in the evening, when there's barely any traffic, and you can zoom your heart out. The wind in my hair, him riding the bike, in the middle of the night. There was this one time when we were going by the airport, and for one timeless moment, we were parallel to a plane landing on the air strip. Exhilarating.
It must have been love
but it’s over now.
it must have been good
but I lost it somehow.
it must have been love
but it’s over now.
We fit so snugly into each other. It had always felt so.. perfect. I loved watching him try to teach me the intricacies of the stock market. How I could make my money work for me. It was pure joy watching his face creased in concentration. How animated his eyes were. And how serious he could be. He was smart, no doubt about it. Just not the right person for me.
It had started unravelling in the past few months. Insecurity, less time with each other, probably boredom too. It was not fun anymore. Just a lot of fighting, about trivialities. I knew him like the back of my palm. He probably knew me just as well. Maybe that was the trouble too.
I had to tell him, that it was over. It had been over a long time now, he probably was thinking the same by now. Mulling over it and wondering how he could help fix it. He loved fixing stuff.
I met him at the park near his house. Autumn. Leaves on the ground. Gusts of wind blowing the leaves away. I will always have a mental picture of him turning up the collar of his coat against the wind, and then smiling slowly as he spotted me. I loved the way his smile spread across his face. Unhurried. Like most of the things he did. Unimpulsive. A flash of disgust as I realised I am being unfair to him. I want to keep atleast the good memories. He deserves that. We deserve that. For a long while, he meant the world to me.
from the moment we touched
’til the time had run out.
Make-believing we’re together,
that I’m sheltered by your heart.
but in and outside
I’ve turned to water like a teardrop in your palm.
and it’s a hard winter’s day, I dream away.
'Hey babe.'
We hug. His brows creased into a frown. 'You wanted to talk to me?'
'Yeah. I don't know how to say this... But its over honey'
He was taken by surprise, probably didn't realise what I was talking about yet. His face then turns grim.
'I noticed too. Thought we could work it out.'
'I don't think that will happen. You know, better end it now before it turns ugly. Less hurt.'
He did look hurt. 'Maybe.' Disbelief.
'So.. what happens to us? Are we just friends now or what?'
'We will keep in touch. Call if anything. Keeping the other posted. Newsflashes. Not friends. We can never go back to that.'
'I know.'
I hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
And I walked away.
Without turning back.
It must have been love
but it’s over now,
it was all that I wanted,
now I’m living without.
it must have been love
but it’s over now,
it’s where the water flows,
it’s where the wind blows.
leave the winter.. on the ground.
I wake up lonely,
there’s air of silence.. in the bedroom
and all around...
It has been a long time since I even thought of him. But sometimes, the memories just wont go away. Like now. It's the eve of his birthday. Last year, it was one of the best times we had. I had surprised him at his house with a cake on the stroke of twelve. All our friends were there too. He wasn't expecting a party, and I was so proud of myself for keeping it a secret. A smile steals across my face now as I think of that night.
touch me now,
I close my eyes
and dream away.
I loved going on his bike, late in the evening, when there's barely any traffic, and you can zoom your heart out. The wind in my hair, him riding the bike, in the middle of the night. There was this one time when we were going by the airport, and for one timeless moment, we were parallel to a plane landing on the air strip. Exhilarating.
It must have been love
but it’s over now.
it must have been good
but I lost it somehow.
it must have been love
but it’s over now.
We fit so snugly into each other. It had always felt so.. perfect. I loved watching him try to teach me the intricacies of the stock market. How I could make my money work for me. It was pure joy watching his face creased in concentration. How animated his eyes were. And how serious he could be. He was smart, no doubt about it. Just not the right person for me.
It had started unravelling in the past few months. Insecurity, less time with each other, probably boredom too. It was not fun anymore. Just a lot of fighting, about trivialities. I knew him like the back of my palm. He probably knew me just as well. Maybe that was the trouble too.
I had to tell him, that it was over. It had been over a long time now, he probably was thinking the same by now. Mulling over it and wondering how he could help fix it. He loved fixing stuff.
I met him at the park near his house. Autumn. Leaves on the ground. Gusts of wind blowing the leaves away. I will always have a mental picture of him turning up the collar of his coat against the wind, and then smiling slowly as he spotted me. I loved the way his smile spread across his face. Unhurried. Like most of the things he did. Unimpulsive. A flash of disgust as I realised I am being unfair to him. I want to keep atleast the good memories. He deserves that. We deserve that. For a long while, he meant the world to me.
from the moment we touched
’til the time had run out.
Make-believing we’re together,
that I’m sheltered by your heart.
but in and outside
I’ve turned to water like a teardrop in your palm.
and it’s a hard winter’s day, I dream away.
'Hey babe.'
We hug. His brows creased into a frown. 'You wanted to talk to me?'
'Yeah. I don't know how to say this... But its over honey'
He was taken by surprise, probably didn't realise what I was talking about yet. His face then turns grim.
'I noticed too. Thought we could work it out.'
'I don't think that will happen. You know, better end it now before it turns ugly. Less hurt.'
He did look hurt. 'Maybe.' Disbelief.
'So.. what happens to us? Are we just friends now or what?'
'We will keep in touch. Call if anything. Keeping the other posted. Newsflashes. Not friends. We can never go back to that.'
'I know.'
I hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
And I walked away.
Without turning back.
It must have been love
but it’s over now,
it was all that I wanted,
now I’m living without.
it must have been love
but it’s over now,
it’s where the water flows,
it’s where the wind blows.
April 19, 2006
Being Thin
I have not always relished food. (But I do now)
As my parents love to tell me, I supposedly used to spit out any morsel of food kept in my mouth, placed there with much difficulty, and they had to come up with unique ways to distract my attention every time I had to be fed. All the uncles and aunties who have seen my stuggles against food greet me, even now, with a 'Looks like you still don't eat!'
My mistake, completely, I know. Bound to happen if you are very thin. Olive Oyl, my college mates called me. Not because there was a Popeye and a Bruno fighting over me, you would have guessed the reason by now.
When I was trusted to eat a meal all by myself, it was a painful ordeal that would last an hour. Everyone else would have finished eating and the dishes would have been done by the time I finished. Whatever I could, I mean. Mom would kill me if I didnt finish off the plate, so I discovered a very ingenious way not to eat. For every morsel I put in my mouth, I would put one outside the plate. Not in a lump, mind you, cause that would be very obvious. I would scatter the food around the plate, so it would look like I was a very messy eater. I got away with it for a very long time, although I suspect mom was onto me.
With dance and music classes almost everyday, I had to start eating... enough for sustenance, as always. I think a lot of people looked forward to me putting on weight after I finished learning Bharatnatya. Every one would say knowingly, 'After you leave dance, you will put on weight.'
Needless to say, they were disappointed.
A true love of food started with hostel life, with me looking forward to going home every fortnight. Looking forward to eating mom's chicken fry with great relish!
Atleast then I had an excuse to tell people asking 'oh you are soooo thin'. 'I stay in hostel aunty/ uncle/ stranger who I was supposed to remember from eons ago. '
'Ah, the food is very bad in the hostel?'
'Ya' I shrug hesitantly, knowing that my hostel was comparitively much better than any of my friends'.
It helps that my cousins Sush and Shru are thin/ thinner than me.
'Its in the family' is what I tell people now.
'Oh you are lucky then', comes the envious reply.
Until I got back home sometime back, and Mom who recently started gymming, said,' Sush is going to the gym now, to put on weight...'
'Great!' I say cautiously.
'Why don't you start gymming too?'
Can't say I didn't know that was coming.
As my parents love to tell me, I supposedly used to spit out any morsel of food kept in my mouth, placed there with much difficulty, and they had to come up with unique ways to distract my attention every time I had to be fed. All the uncles and aunties who have seen my stuggles against food greet me, even now, with a 'Looks like you still don't eat!'
My mistake, completely, I know. Bound to happen if you are very thin. Olive Oyl, my college mates called me. Not because there was a Popeye and a Bruno fighting over me, you would have guessed the reason by now.
When I was trusted to eat a meal all by myself, it was a painful ordeal that would last an hour. Everyone else would have finished eating and the dishes would have been done by the time I finished. Whatever I could, I mean. Mom would kill me if I didnt finish off the plate, so I discovered a very ingenious way not to eat. For every morsel I put in my mouth, I would put one outside the plate. Not in a lump, mind you, cause that would be very obvious. I would scatter the food around the plate, so it would look like I was a very messy eater. I got away with it for a very long time, although I suspect mom was onto me.
With dance and music classes almost everyday, I had to start eating... enough for sustenance, as always. I think a lot of people looked forward to me putting on weight after I finished learning Bharatnatya. Every one would say knowingly, 'After you leave dance, you will put on weight.'
Needless to say, they were disappointed.
A true love of food started with hostel life, with me looking forward to going home every fortnight. Looking forward to eating mom's chicken fry with great relish!
Atleast then I had an excuse to tell people asking 'oh you are soooo thin'. 'I stay in hostel aunty/ uncle/ stranger who I was supposed to remember from eons ago. '
'Ah, the food is very bad in the hostel?'
'Ya' I shrug hesitantly, knowing that my hostel was comparitively much better than any of my friends'.
It helps that my cousins Sush and Shru are thin/ thinner than me.
'Its in the family' is what I tell people now.
'Oh you are lucky then', comes the envious reply.
Until I got back home sometime back, and Mom who recently started gymming, said,' Sush is going to the gym now, to put on weight...'
'Great!' I say cautiously.
'Why don't you start gymming too?'
Can't say I didn't know that was coming.
Amphigory
she was followed by a dog,
guess wat was his name?
he always did hog,
and say robbie's my name!!
ran barking thru the fog
saying thats my claim to fame!!
so anu ran and ran
and robbie did too...
she turned around and saw
a fairy saying 'ur love is true'
the dog had become a two wheeler
and attu shed buckets of tears!
there ends d story
of anu and her robbie ! *********************************
dedicated to anu and the love of her life ;)
guess wat was his name?
he always did hog,
and say robbie's my name!!
ran barking thru the fog
saying thats my claim to fame!!
so anu ran and ran
and robbie did too...
she turned around and saw
a fairy saying 'ur love is true'
the dog had become a two wheeler
and attu shed buckets of tears!
there ends d story
of anu and her robbie ! *********************************
dedicated to anu and the love of her life ;)
April 12, 2006
In Memoriam
I was shocked, to say the least, when a junior walked in and told us that Dr Rajkumar passed away. I remember that I had a frozen smile on my face, assuming it was some sort of a joke, but then I went to Srini's desk to confirm. I guess the smile was replaced by a gape then. I quickly walked to a telephone to check if mom knew. I could see many others walking around receiving or making calls. Yes, my workplace has a sizeable kannada population, or atleast many who understand the significance of what Annavaru's death holds.
An ignorant bystander asks, whats all the fuss about, wasnt he just an actor?
Nope, we try to explain. He won the Dada Saheb Phalke award, didnt you know?
A shake of the head.
Ignorant was the right choice of word here. I still try to commit names and places to memory. G.K, you know. Seems lost on some.
He's an icon here. Hmm someone on the scale of the Big B.
Unfair comparison, I know. But there is no one else that they can relate to. Kannadigas wouldnt have dreamed of forgetting all about him if his production company had failed, like ABCL did. Many people would have willingly given up their little kitty of cash, if there was even a hint of financial trouble in Dr Raj's life.
And he has never dabbled in the one profession everyone loves to hate, Politics. He was loved even more for that very fact.
I havent watched a kannada movie in a theatre in a long while. Come to think of it, it was Akasmika that I did watch on the big screen. A Rajkumar movie, needless to say. I was in school then.
I must have seen so many movies of his. Him and Dwarkeesh were a delight to watch as a child. He could play a Bond kind of suave role, and that of a mere villager, with so much ease and panache as if he were born to it. He gave up non vegetarian food, for he was playing a role that required him to be a devout person who did not consume meat. I cannot imagine doing the same thing, for any reason!
Srinivas, gave the vocals for Rajkumar's movies, till he realised that he could sing too. Make no mistake, it is no half hearted effort of any other actor who dabbles in singing, and we shut our ears and listen. He actually sang well, and received a National Award for playback singing(nadamaya..ee lokavella). He received a Padma Bhushan too, if I am not wrong.
For all his success, he did not let it go to his head. Ever so humble, he was really, a very nice guy. Even after the kidnapping by Veerappan, he still had a few good words to say about the vile creature that had imprisoned him. I know many in the current generation who refuse to believe that anyone can be nice, or so good. It is fashionable now not to watch kannada movies, but then again, not many of them are good. Everyone says, if only his sons were as good as him. But no one will ever be.
One of Rajkumar's passions was the language itself. He was one of the people who actually tried to make people understand the significance of their own language. I guess that would be a little difficult for any outsider to understand. I mean, who would not love their own language. Ah, welcome to Karnataka. We are rarely passionate about anything. You come and occupy our land, we do not demand that you learn our language. Ever seen someone not knowing Hindi in the North; or seen a Chennaiite help you in English, even if he knew the language? Oh no, here even the rickshaw drivers take immense pride in speaking to you in the language that you talk to them in.
But the one person that can drive people to display any kind of emotion is, well you guessed it, Dr Rajkumar. The riots are a despicable way of coming to deal with the grief, I am sure most of the rioters have not seen a single movie of his. For grief, it is. I know of many people who have cried today. Bawled their hearts out over ISD/ STD lines, at the death of the one person they love unconditionally.
As I watched the CNN IBN special, Jo and I have tears in our eyes at the end. (we were messaging each other)
Maybe its also the realisation that now, there is nothing or no one else to be passionate about, for all of us. Its truly, the death of an Icon.
The End, of an Era.
An ignorant bystander asks, whats all the fuss about, wasnt he just an actor?
Nope, we try to explain. He won the Dada Saheb Phalke award, didnt you know?
A shake of the head.
Ignorant was the right choice of word here. I still try to commit names and places to memory. G.K, you know. Seems lost on some.
He's an icon here. Hmm someone on the scale of the Big B.
Unfair comparison, I know. But there is no one else that they can relate to. Kannadigas wouldnt have dreamed of forgetting all about him if his production company had failed, like ABCL did. Many people would have willingly given up their little kitty of cash, if there was even a hint of financial trouble in Dr Raj's life.
And he has never dabbled in the one profession everyone loves to hate, Politics. He was loved even more for that very fact.
I havent watched a kannada movie in a theatre in a long while. Come to think of it, it was Akasmika that I did watch on the big screen. A Rajkumar movie, needless to say. I was in school then.
I must have seen so many movies of his. Him and Dwarkeesh were a delight to watch as a child. He could play a Bond kind of suave role, and that of a mere villager, with so much ease and panache as if he were born to it. He gave up non vegetarian food, for he was playing a role that required him to be a devout person who did not consume meat. I cannot imagine doing the same thing, for any reason!
Srinivas, gave the vocals for Rajkumar's movies, till he realised that he could sing too. Make no mistake, it is no half hearted effort of any other actor who dabbles in singing, and we shut our ears and listen. He actually sang well, and received a National Award for playback singing(nadamaya..ee lokavella). He received a Padma Bhushan too, if I am not wrong.
For all his success, he did not let it go to his head. Ever so humble, he was really, a very nice guy. Even after the kidnapping by Veerappan, he still had a few good words to say about the vile creature that had imprisoned him. I know many in the current generation who refuse to believe that anyone can be nice, or so good. It is fashionable now not to watch kannada movies, but then again, not many of them are good. Everyone says, if only his sons were as good as him. But no one will ever be.
One of Rajkumar's passions was the language itself. He was one of the people who actually tried to make people understand the significance of their own language. I guess that would be a little difficult for any outsider to understand. I mean, who would not love their own language. Ah, welcome to Karnataka. We are rarely passionate about anything. You come and occupy our land, we do not demand that you learn our language. Ever seen someone not knowing Hindi in the North; or seen a Chennaiite help you in English, even if he knew the language? Oh no, here even the rickshaw drivers take immense pride in speaking to you in the language that you talk to them in.
But the one person that can drive people to display any kind of emotion is, well you guessed it, Dr Rajkumar. The riots are a despicable way of coming to deal with the grief, I am sure most of the rioters have not seen a single movie of his. For grief, it is. I know of many people who have cried today. Bawled their hearts out over ISD/ STD lines, at the death of the one person they love unconditionally.
As I watched the CNN IBN special, Jo and I have tears in our eyes at the end. (we were messaging each other)
Maybe its also the realisation that now, there is nothing or no one else to be passionate about, for all of us. Its truly, the death of an Icon.
The End, of an Era.
This one is for...
For no reason no rhyme,
for she looks so divine,
her age months nine,
no sound of a whine,
always a beautiful smile,
tryin to walk in a straight line,
oh this lovely child of mine!!
**********************************
Mathi, I know this one is a little futuristic,
I know your kid will bring you loads of joy..
- Rush
ps: if its a boy, will change the 'she' to 'he' :-P
for she looks so divine,
her age months nine,
no sound of a whine,
always a beautiful smile,
tryin to walk in a straight line,
oh this lovely child of mine!!
**********************************
Mathi, I know this one is a little futuristic,
I know your kid will bring you loads of joy..
- Rush
ps: if its a boy, will change the 'she' to 'he' :-P
April 08, 2006
Kiss & Lick
I am cooped up inside the house, hoping to be sheltered from the humidity. It's unbearably hot. Summer always makes me feel lethargic, and I am not used to sitting around twiddling my thumbs. I stand up with a sense of purpose and know that I have to get out of the house. Out in the sun? A voice asks. Well, yes, I need to get out. And its almost evening, the weather can only get better. Not that I have to defend myself to myself. I smile, aware of how ridiculous that sounds.
The heat envelops me in a dizzying embrace. I want no part of it. The ground seems to radiate waves of hot air. I will make it to the park and catch my breath there, I tell myself. I feel like a gladiator as I finally make my way through the gates of the park. I sit on the bench and take a deep breath. This place is pure heaven, I realise that is the reason I wanted to get out so badly. The edges of the park are surrounded by a short hedge. A cement pathway surrounds the perimeter of the park, for joggers. Inside that, there is a violent splashing of plants and flowers of all colours. Green grass for people to sit on, steps right across the middle as the park is set on a slope. Its blissfully cool in here.
I smell it first. And I lift my face expectantly. The first drop of rain on my lips. Much more gratifying than a lover's kiss. Some of the joggers hurry home. Many kids play, unmindful of the rain. I sit there, still as stone, enjoying the downpour. Joyous yelps break into my reverie. A golden-brown pup is running around madly, chasing after his tail. I crouch down next to him slowly, not wanting to scare him. 'Hi', I offer. He looks up from his tail, probably wondering if I was worth the bother. 'Who do you belong to?', I ask, noticing that there is no collar proclaiming his owner. He licks my face. I laugh out aloud. He jumps into my arms.
What is that? A neighbour calls out, as I walk back home.
My new friend, I answer.
***********************************
Were you expecting something else??? :-P
The heat envelops me in a dizzying embrace. I want no part of it. The ground seems to radiate waves of hot air. I will make it to the park and catch my breath there, I tell myself. I feel like a gladiator as I finally make my way through the gates of the park. I sit on the bench and take a deep breath. This place is pure heaven, I realise that is the reason I wanted to get out so badly. The edges of the park are surrounded by a short hedge. A cement pathway surrounds the perimeter of the park, for joggers. Inside that, there is a violent splashing of plants and flowers of all colours. Green grass for people to sit on, steps right across the middle as the park is set on a slope. Its blissfully cool in here.
I smell it first. And I lift my face expectantly. The first drop of rain on my lips. Much more gratifying than a lover's kiss. Some of the joggers hurry home. Many kids play, unmindful of the rain. I sit there, still as stone, enjoying the downpour. Joyous yelps break into my reverie. A golden-brown pup is running around madly, chasing after his tail. I crouch down next to him slowly, not wanting to scare him. 'Hi', I offer. He looks up from his tail, probably wondering if I was worth the bother. 'Who do you belong to?', I ask, noticing that there is no collar proclaiming his owner. He licks my face. I laugh out aloud. He jumps into my arms.
What is that? A neighbour calls out, as I walk back home.
My new friend, I answer.
***********************************
April 05, 2006
messin around :)
wrote this one to tease a friend.. do not judge me!!
alone i sat
silent as a rat
looking at her
twitchin my whiskers
i wait for a morsel
of food from her parcel
i wish she would hurry
and leave a l'il curry
i have left it incomplete coz i gotta catch my bus now !
alone i sat
silent as a rat
looking at her
twitchin my whiskers
i wait for a morsel
of food from her parcel
i wish she would hurry
and leave a l'il curry
i have left it incomplete coz i gotta catch my bus now !
April 03, 2006
Slaughter of the Innocent
the slaughter of the innocent,
passes by the ignorant
no one knows, no one listens,
faint murmurs of the wind begins
a new life is wrought,
but nothing can be taught
for when there is no innocence,
there cant be any penchance
for learning, or for knowing,
i look upon the change,
and know that no one can gauge
the depths of such an event
for it is but the slaughter of an innocent!
passes by the ignorant
no one knows, no one listens,
faint murmurs of the wind begins
a new life is wrought,
but nothing can be taught
for when there is no innocence,
there cant be any penchance
for learning, or for knowing,
i look upon the change,
and know that no one can gauge
the depths of such an event
for it is but the slaughter of an innocent!
April 02, 2006
The Benefactor
I tell a tale.
I was three years old. An age where everything is new. Sights. Sounds. People.
It was late in the evening. Its surprising how I still remember the minor details. People tell me they barely remember anything from when they were really small. ‘I do’, I scream out, albeit silently. Within the confines of my brain. So no one can hear. Or understand.
Mom was carrying me back home. I lifted my cheek and received her kiss. I still feel the implant when I concentrate really hard. It’s like a tangible presence. Instantly reassuring.
And then a shriek as a car rams into her. A feeling of weightlessness as I fall to the ground. A lot of blood. The image of the scared man at the wheel in the car, forever implanted in my memory. The car speeding away.
The sight of my fallen mother on the road. Immobile. A crowd forming around us.
‘It’s a miracle the kid is unhurt’
‘The lady is dead!’
The siren of an ambulance. Strong arms lifting me away.
My earliest memory.
I tell a tale. A tale that began with my earliest memory.
*****************
I started writing this, and somehow couldnt continue :-(
I was three years old. An age where everything is new. Sights. Sounds. People.
It was late in the evening. Its surprising how I still remember the minor details. People tell me they barely remember anything from when they were really small. ‘I do’, I scream out, albeit silently. Within the confines of my brain. So no one can hear. Or understand.
Mom was carrying me back home. I lifted my cheek and received her kiss. I still feel the implant when I concentrate really hard. It’s like a tangible presence. Instantly reassuring.
And then a shriek as a car rams into her. A feeling of weightlessness as I fall to the ground. A lot of blood. The image of the scared man at the wheel in the car, forever implanted in my memory. The car speeding away.
The sight of my fallen mother on the road. Immobile. A crowd forming around us.
‘It’s a miracle the kid is unhurt’
‘The lady is dead!’
The siren of an ambulance. Strong arms lifting me away.
My earliest memory.
I tell a tale. A tale that began with my earliest memory.
*****************
I started writing this, and somehow couldnt continue :-(
March 31, 2006
Notice
I am sorry for pulling my previous two posts off cyberspace almost immediately after posting them, I have had my reasons. Looking forward to your continued patronage (i love this line!)
Thanks,
Rush
Thanks,
Rush
March 24, 2006
End of the Tunnel
The dog wags his tail at me and bounds towards the car as I drive into the garage. 'Hi Charlie', I say wearily, as I get out of the car. He whines, recognising that I am not in the mood to cuddle him. I bend down and give him a quick pat and I walk inside. Although I would rather not step in.
Charlie sniffs around the packages in my hand and then gazes at me imploringly when there isn't even a faint whiff of his favourite biscuit. A pang of guilt. 'Oh Shit, I am sorry Charlie, I will get them tomorrow. I promise. Good dog' I add, as he seems to understand. I seem to be forgetting a lot these days. The strain is taking its toll on me. I can barely get through anything that is 'normal'.
There is nothing normal around here. How can it be? My eldest son is in Intensive Care, in a coma. And we have to make a pretense of normalcy for the sake of our sanity, and for the other children. God knows, we have been through enough without each of us now quietly falling apart by ourselves.
Nikhil and Nisha wouldn’t have come home yet. My mother takes picks them up from our gate after the school bus leaves and takes them to her house. An advantage of having family stay in the same town is that they can always hop over. I don’t dare remember the many times I had cursed the very same fact. The memories come unbidden.
Sanjay, Nikhil and Nisha as very young children, playing around in our garden with their cousins. Both the brothers always doted on Nisha as she was the youngest. She was in the first grade now. Understanding very little of what was happening to Sanjay, she was withdrawing into her own private hell. All of us are in our own private hell.
Rahul looks up at me when I enter. I didn't know he had left work this early. He had started taking refuge in it, unable to come home and face...everything else.
'Hi' I venture.
'I spoke to the doctor'My heart skips a beat. No matter how you much you steeled yourself in preparation of bad news, the raw fear always grips your heart. I gulp.'What did he say?' My voice comes out as a rasp.
He looks down. 'They want us to consider...'
'Pulling the plug' I complete, harshly. He meets my eyes 'if nothing works out...' He looks away. 'God, I hope he pulls through.'
I feel a tear forming. 'So do I.. ' I whisper. 'I wish all of this would somehow go away. That I wake up from this nightmare. But I never do.'
Rahul looks hurt. 'I wish I had found him a little earlier'
'It was not your fault.' I answer, after a brief pause.
The silence is filled with questions. It rises up in the air pointing an accusing finger at both of us. Each feels the accusation of the other, probably not just imaginary.
I am his mother. I should have stayed at home instead of working and letting Rahul take care of the kids. There is no saying that would have helped, but maybe Rahul felt I should have been the 'conventional' parent.
I sighed. This was definitely not a moment where I cherish the fact that I am anything but conventional. A life of your kid is not the price you pay for leading a busy working life. And you definitely can't blame your husband for something he didn't have any control on.
Like not noticing that Sanjay seemed a little more subdued than usual. Well, he did notice that, I amend. Sanjay brushed it off to the accident he had been in that day. We wouldn't normally call it an accident. It was just two cycles ramming into each other. Who would have guessed his liver would bleed internally and he would slip into a coma. I wouldn't have done any better. I guess. I wouldn't know for sure. If I had not been out of town, maybe I would have looked in on him. Perhaps I would have noticed his pale face.
'Stop blaming yourself!' I scream. Silently.
But Rahul seems lost in his own thoughts. Why doesnt he notice my turmoil? Can't he see that I need his support?
Crisis brings a family together. Well, it certainly didn't seem to be happening here. We were drawing further apart everyday. It is exactly 29 days from the day of the accident.
I turn my back to him and go and stand next to the window. I can see Meena's kids playing in their yard. I close my eyes. I cannot bear to see kids running around right now.
Strong arms envelop me. 'Don't look, it doesn't help us to look at them now.'
I lean back against his chest. He feels solid. My grip on sanity when everything else is falling apart.
'We will pull through this Rakhi, but we have to do that together.'
'I have missed you.'
'So have I. We will do our best with Sanjay.. The rest is upto the force above us.'
I feel the comfort of his strength and a rising conviction that we would be alright. There was light at the end of the tunnel, after all.
Charlie sniffs around the packages in my hand and then gazes at me imploringly when there isn't even a faint whiff of his favourite biscuit. A pang of guilt. 'Oh Shit, I am sorry Charlie, I will get them tomorrow. I promise. Good dog' I add, as he seems to understand. I seem to be forgetting a lot these days. The strain is taking its toll on me. I can barely get through anything that is 'normal'.
There is nothing normal around here. How can it be? My eldest son is in Intensive Care, in a coma. And we have to make a pretense of normalcy for the sake of our sanity, and for the other children. God knows, we have been through enough without each of us now quietly falling apart by ourselves.
Nikhil and Nisha wouldn’t have come home yet. My mother takes picks them up from our gate after the school bus leaves and takes them to her house. An advantage of having family stay in the same town is that they can always hop over. I don’t dare remember the many times I had cursed the very same fact. The memories come unbidden.
Sanjay, Nikhil and Nisha as very young children, playing around in our garden with their cousins. Both the brothers always doted on Nisha as she was the youngest. She was in the first grade now. Understanding very little of what was happening to Sanjay, she was withdrawing into her own private hell. All of us are in our own private hell.
Rahul looks up at me when I enter. I didn't know he had left work this early. He had started taking refuge in it, unable to come home and face...everything else.
'Hi' I venture.
'I spoke to the doctor'My heart skips a beat. No matter how you much you steeled yourself in preparation of bad news, the raw fear always grips your heart. I gulp.'What did he say?' My voice comes out as a rasp.
He looks down. 'They want us to consider...'
'Pulling the plug' I complete, harshly. He meets my eyes 'if nothing works out...' He looks away. 'God, I hope he pulls through.'
I feel a tear forming. 'So do I.. ' I whisper. 'I wish all of this would somehow go away. That I wake up from this nightmare. But I never do.'
Rahul looks hurt. 'I wish I had found him a little earlier'
'It was not your fault.' I answer, after a brief pause.
The silence is filled with questions. It rises up in the air pointing an accusing finger at both of us. Each feels the accusation of the other, probably not just imaginary.
I am his mother. I should have stayed at home instead of working and letting Rahul take care of the kids. There is no saying that would have helped, but maybe Rahul felt I should have been the 'conventional' parent.
I sighed. This was definitely not a moment where I cherish the fact that I am anything but conventional. A life of your kid is not the price you pay for leading a busy working life. And you definitely can't blame your husband for something he didn't have any control on.
Like not noticing that Sanjay seemed a little more subdued than usual. Well, he did notice that, I amend. Sanjay brushed it off to the accident he had been in that day. We wouldn't normally call it an accident. It was just two cycles ramming into each other. Who would have guessed his liver would bleed internally and he would slip into a coma. I wouldn't have done any better. I guess. I wouldn't know for sure. If I had not been out of town, maybe I would have looked in on him. Perhaps I would have noticed his pale face.
'Stop blaming yourself!' I scream. Silently.
But Rahul seems lost in his own thoughts. Why doesnt he notice my turmoil? Can't he see that I need his support?
Crisis brings a family together. Well, it certainly didn't seem to be happening here. We were drawing further apart everyday. It is exactly 29 days from the day of the accident.
I turn my back to him and go and stand next to the window. I can see Meena's kids playing in their yard. I close my eyes. I cannot bear to see kids running around right now.
Strong arms envelop me. 'Don't look, it doesn't help us to look at them now.'
I lean back against his chest. He feels solid. My grip on sanity when everything else is falling apart.
'We will pull through this Rakhi, but we have to do that together.'
'I have missed you.'
'So have I. We will do our best with Sanjay.. The rest is upto the force above us.'
I feel the comfort of his strength and a rising conviction that we would be alright. There was light at the end of the tunnel, after all.
March 09, 2006
Lost In You
as a fly flutters by
i see the wonder in your eye
faint strains of a lullaby
reach our ears carried by
the wind that seems to caress
your lovely face
the scene so serene
the moment sublime
there is no line
that can describe this feeling
as i fervently pray
that you be mine
i see the wonder in your eye
faint strains of a lullaby
reach our ears carried by
the wind that seems to caress
your lovely face
the scene so serene
the moment sublime
there is no line
that can describe this feeling
as i fervently pray
that you be mine
February 10, 2006
A Lonely Life
The sun shafts in through a break in the curtains. I unwillingly open my eyes. Its really appealing to lie-in. That way I dont have to pretend that I do have something to do. There doesnt seem to be anything significant filling up my life anymore.
The mirror seems to mock me. I see my youthful face, hair flopping about. I close my eyes for a second as I remember the happiness on that face. When I open my eyes, I reel back from the face that I see. A receding hairline, tired eyes, and a wrinkled face. I close my eyes with my hand, trying hard to remember the transition from one face to the other. It is a blur.
I was so busy with everything else, I didnt realise that age was catching up on me. And then suddenly a year ago that realisation came. When my lovely wife died in her sleep. At fifty, death is something we never thought much about. Of course we planned for it, but never actually paid much attention to what a wrench that would be.
Every night when I go to bed after an unfulfilling day, I pray fervently for death. I imagine it will be like a beam of sunlight enveloping me, caressing me with its warmth, and cocooning me in it. But then I wake up, into the reality that is my life.
The doorbell peals. I wonder who would be visiting so early in the morning. My granddaughters had visited just a few days ago. Their visits are too few and too far in between. I understand. I didnt pay constant attention to my grandparents when I was young either.
I walk to the door and open it. A beam of sunlight envelops me and caresses my face. There is a lady standing at the door. Cats whiskers around her eyes, and prominent laugh lines. She seems ageless. And then her face breaks into a radiant smile, 'Hi there'. Is this a new beginning or is it the end?
The mirror seems to mock me. I see my youthful face, hair flopping about. I close my eyes for a second as I remember the happiness on that face. When I open my eyes, I reel back from the face that I see. A receding hairline, tired eyes, and a wrinkled face. I close my eyes with my hand, trying hard to remember the transition from one face to the other. It is a blur.
I was so busy with everything else, I didnt realise that age was catching up on me. And then suddenly a year ago that realisation came. When my lovely wife died in her sleep. At fifty, death is something we never thought much about. Of course we planned for it, but never actually paid much attention to what a wrench that would be.
Every night when I go to bed after an unfulfilling day, I pray fervently for death. I imagine it will be like a beam of sunlight enveloping me, caressing me with its warmth, and cocooning me in it. But then I wake up, into the reality that is my life.
The doorbell peals. I wonder who would be visiting so early in the morning. My granddaughters had visited just a few days ago. Their visits are too few and too far in between. I understand. I didnt pay constant attention to my grandparents when I was young either.
I walk to the door and open it. A beam of sunlight envelops me and caresses my face. There is a lady standing at the door. Cats whiskers around her eyes, and prominent laugh lines. She seems ageless. And then her face breaks into a radiant smile, 'Hi there'. Is this a new beginning or is it the end?
February 07, 2006
Said or Imagined?
I sit in the coffee shop, head bent over a book.
'I thought you loved me', an accusing voice says somewhere at the edge of my consciousness.
I stop reading and search for the voice from the corner of my eye. A couple sitting at the next table seem to be having a heated discussion.
'Go back to your book'. Ah, that must be the good angel sitting on my right shoulder, wearing white.
'And why should you do that?' A small little figurine in red, on my left shoulder, owner of a pointed tail.
'The Imp, I presume?' says the angel haughtily.
'The pleasure is mine. But Rashmi, dont listen to our chatter. What do you think that couple is fighting about?'
I suspect I don't have to bother with answering that.
'Rashmi, you shouldn't eavesdrop on a private conversation.' I had suspected right.
'If its so private, why are they discussing it in public?' Good point, Imp.
'They have a right to their privacy!'
'Oh ya? Only within the four walls of their home, they do. Or maybe they are not married.. To each other, I mean.' Imp chuckles at his own joke.
'You are a disgrace!!'
'And I m lovin it'
'Rashmi, look how selfish he is! I only want whats best for you'. The saintly orb around Angel's head glows brighter.
'Bull crap!', Imp retorts. 'Lets have fun' he says to me. 'And all this eavesdropping is for a cause too'.
'A Cause?' Angel is getting scandalised by the minute.
'Oh yes, a cause. This would make good material for her next book.'
'Eavesdropping and writing about it too? Oh God, Rashmi where are your morals?'
'Whats morals got to do with it?' Imp says with a genuinely uncomprehending look.
'Beat it, you guys. That couple left!'
The Imp and Angel look up from their animated conversation - if it could be called that.
'Oh. Until next time then', they say and disappear in a flash.
'The waiter looks strangely at me as he passes by. 'Crazy lady'. Was that said or imagined?
Shaking my head, I go back to my book.
'I thought you loved me', an accusing voice says somewhere at the edge of my consciousness.
I stop reading and search for the voice from the corner of my eye. A couple sitting at the next table seem to be having a heated discussion.
'Go back to your book'. Ah, that must be the good angel sitting on my right shoulder, wearing white.
'And why should you do that?' A small little figurine in red, on my left shoulder, owner of a pointed tail.
'The Imp, I presume?' says the angel haughtily.
'The pleasure is mine. But Rashmi, dont listen to our chatter. What do you think that couple is fighting about?'
I suspect I don't have to bother with answering that.
'Rashmi, you shouldn't eavesdrop on a private conversation.' I had suspected right.
'If its so private, why are they discussing it in public?' Good point, Imp.
'They have a right to their privacy!'
'Oh ya? Only within the four walls of their home, they do. Or maybe they are not married.. To each other, I mean.' Imp chuckles at his own joke.
'You are a disgrace!!'
'And I m lovin it'
'Rashmi, look how selfish he is! I only want whats best for you'. The saintly orb around Angel's head glows brighter.
'Bull crap!', Imp retorts. 'Lets have fun' he says to me. 'And all this eavesdropping is for a cause too'.
'A Cause?' Angel is getting scandalised by the minute.
'Oh yes, a cause. This would make good material for her next book.'
'Eavesdropping and writing about it too? Oh God, Rashmi where are your morals?'
'Whats morals got to do with it?' Imp says with a genuinely uncomprehending look.
'Beat it, you guys. That couple left!'
The Imp and Angel look up from their animated conversation - if it could be called that.
'Oh. Until next time then', they say and disappear in a flash.
'The waiter looks strangely at me as he passes by. 'Crazy lady'. Was that said or imagined?
Shaking my head, I go back to my book.
February 04, 2006
Ever Wondered?
Ever wondered why the sight of dew drops in the morning can give you a feeling of peace? Ever wondered why your biggest problems seem insignificant when you stand on a beach watching the sun rise? Ever wondered why you make the most mistakes when you are most careful? Ever wondered why there's always room for dessert? Ever wondered why people take comfort in mundane conversations while in the midst of an unspeakable tragedy.
Ever wondered why the most important people in your life are the ones you take for granted? Ever wondered why it is so important that India always win the cricket series against Pakistan (well, dont answer that, its rhetorical). Ever wondered why certain insignificant people can annoy you so much? Ever wondered why your computer hangs just as you have finished writing something terribly important, but unsaved. Ever wondered if what you have set out to do is the right thing for you? Ever wondered why when all men are created equal, some are more so?
Ever wondered why the most important people in your life are the ones you take for granted? Ever wondered why it is so important that India always win the cricket series against Pakistan (well, dont answer that, its rhetorical). Ever wondered why certain insignificant people can annoy you so much? Ever wondered why your computer hangs just as you have finished writing something terribly important, but unsaved. Ever wondered if what you have set out to do is the right thing for you? Ever wondered why when all men are created equal, some are more so?
January 25, 2006
Blinded By Eyesight
Ya well, if you have ever been subjected to the ignomy of Refraction Eye Drops, you would know too! I know, that is one of the hesternal methods of finding out the exact vision correction that needs to be provided by external means.(One heck of a long sentence eh ;)). By external means, I meant lens/ spectacles, of course.
I made the mistake of going to get my eyes checked while wearing the lens. And supposedly lens reduces the power(is that rite or just colloquial usage?) in the eyes for sometime after wearing the lens. So I have to go back again, and to be doubly sure they are gonna use the Refractive drops this time, instead of the quick fix, the computer determination. Bah!
Do you know what that means? I will have to be escorted from the hospital to home, cause everything I see will be blurred. Refraction. R-e-f-r-a-c-t-i-o-n. I thought I liked Physics at school. Am not so sure now. ;)
Hmmm. Lemme cross out all the stuff I cant do the following two days, after the drops are administered, that is.
Reading, my first love - Nope!
Shit my dance class - I will go and try to gauge out what the instructor is doing!
Shopping - well, no use buying something you can barely see.
Watch TV - other than listening to the sound, nothing much I can do there.
Messaging(SMS) - Oh Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!! my cell is gonna go beep beep and not be answered :(
Surfing the net - was that a question?
Go to office - surely, you jest!
Nothing I can do except sleep, right? You don't have to answer that, that was rhetorical.
So I await that day, not with bated breath, however. You probably will learn just how bad (or good! ) that was soon.
Ciao till then!
I made the mistake of going to get my eyes checked while wearing the lens. And supposedly lens reduces the power(is that rite or just colloquial usage?) in the eyes for sometime after wearing the lens. So I have to go back again, and to be doubly sure they are gonna use the Refractive drops this time, instead of the quick fix, the computer determination. Bah!
Do you know what that means? I will have to be escorted from the hospital to home, cause everything I see will be blurred. Refraction. R-e-f-r-a-c-t-i-o-n. I thought I liked Physics at school. Am not so sure now. ;)
Hmmm. Lemme cross out all the stuff I cant do the following two days, after the drops are administered, that is.
Reading, my first love - Nope!
Shit my dance class - I will go and try to gauge out what the instructor is doing!
Shopping - well, no use buying something you can barely see.
Watch TV - other than listening to the sound, nothing much I can do there.
Messaging(SMS) - Oh Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!! my cell is gonna go beep beep and not be answered :(
Surfing the net - was that a question?
Go to office - surely, you jest!
Nothing I can do except sleep, right? You don't have to answer that, that was rhetorical.
So I await that day, not with bated breath, however. You probably will learn just how bad (or good! ) that was soon.
Ciao till then!
January 18, 2006
The book that inspires me most
That was the Title of an essay competition held today, and this is what I wrote:
I have to make that a question, because out of the thousands (that’s right –thousands) of books I have read, it is very difficult to locate one that has inspired me. I don’t read books for inspiration. I wish I could not be honest and go ahead and say that I loved ‘Who moved my cheese?’ which happens to be the only book I have read in the ‘improve self’ genre. But where books are concerned, I don’t lie. So why am I writing this then? Because I was hooked by the time I read the second word in your essay topic. So bear with me while I lead you through my journey into the world of books, because I simply can’t point to one and say ‘this is my favorite’.
Let me not make it a journey, I might just try your patience. Instead I shall pick a few books and tell you what I liked most about them.
Harry Potter – The series that mesmerized millions around the world. It’s a fascinating journey into a world of make believe, and you do get sucked into the world inhabited by a gifted orphan. The classic case of the fight between Good and Evil, but what a setting! All the characters are so finely etched, all the sequences perfectly logical, all of it the figment of one person’s imagination – J K Rowling’s. This book does inspire me, to use my imagination and maybe come up with a book of my own someday; amateur writer that I am. Who knows, I just might wield a wand and say ‘Bookwritiomus’ and the book will get written. Such is the power of this book, to make you believe in make believe.
If Tomorrow Comes – This is definitely one of Sidney Sheldon’s best. As is the norm in Sheldon’s books, it has a central female character. Tracy Whitney is sent to jail for a crime she did not commit, and when she does get out of living hell, she is not given a job. So she ends up living on her wits – literally. One man offers her remuneration, if she manages to rob a particular safe in a house that was left empty for the weekend – but this ‘benefactor’ sends someone else to rob Tracy after she has committed the act. But she manages to outwit the other robber, and goes on to pull off some daring heists. This book perhaps does not inspire people in the right direction; it shows that being bad is not necessarily bad for you, and that sometimes you might just be prodded onto the path of Evil, however unwilling a participant you may be.
Erich Segal – I write the author’s name and not just one book. Love Story – A beautiful book on the wonderful love the protagonists (Oliver Barett and Jennifer Cavilleri) share and how they cope with the imminent death of Jennifer. The most memorable thing about the book is the constant banter between the characters that might just have you rolling on the floor or touching a tissue to your eye.
Acts of Faith – This book is about three friends, two of them Jewish and the other, Roman Catholic. Deborah and Daniel are siblings, and their father is a prominent rabbi. But Daniel does not want to become a rabbi and Deborah decides to become one, breaking the rules of Orthodox Judaism which expressly forbids that a woman become a rabbi. It is a story of family ties under strain, pariahs not welcome in their home, even more so when Tim, the Roman Catholic and Deborah fall in love with each other. It inspires you to find the thing that you want most, even if it’s not allowed or inaccessible, because when you try hard enough, you will find it.
I can go on and on, but I will be exceeding my brief. So here is the list of books and I hope to have answered the question, the book(s) that inspired me the most?
I have to make that a question, because out of the thousands (that’s right –thousands) of books I have read, it is very difficult to locate one that has inspired me. I don’t read books for inspiration. I wish I could not be honest and go ahead and say that I loved ‘Who moved my cheese?’ which happens to be the only book I have read in the ‘improve self’ genre. But where books are concerned, I don’t lie. So why am I writing this then? Because I was hooked by the time I read the second word in your essay topic. So bear with me while I lead you through my journey into the world of books, because I simply can’t point to one and say ‘this is my favorite’.
Let me not make it a journey, I might just try your patience. Instead I shall pick a few books and tell you what I liked most about them.
Harry Potter – The series that mesmerized millions around the world. It’s a fascinating journey into a world of make believe, and you do get sucked into the world inhabited by a gifted orphan. The classic case of the fight between Good and Evil, but what a setting! All the characters are so finely etched, all the sequences perfectly logical, all of it the figment of one person’s imagination – J K Rowling’s. This book does inspire me, to use my imagination and maybe come up with a book of my own someday; amateur writer that I am. Who knows, I just might wield a wand and say ‘Bookwritiomus’ and the book will get written. Such is the power of this book, to make you believe in make believe.
If Tomorrow Comes – This is definitely one of Sidney Sheldon’s best. As is the norm in Sheldon’s books, it has a central female character. Tracy Whitney is sent to jail for a crime she did not commit, and when she does get out of living hell, she is not given a job. So she ends up living on her wits – literally. One man offers her remuneration, if she manages to rob a particular safe in a house that was left empty for the weekend – but this ‘benefactor’ sends someone else to rob Tracy after she has committed the act. But she manages to outwit the other robber, and goes on to pull off some daring heists. This book perhaps does not inspire people in the right direction; it shows that being bad is not necessarily bad for you, and that sometimes you might just be prodded onto the path of Evil, however unwilling a participant you may be.
Erich Segal – I write the author’s name and not just one book. Love Story – A beautiful book on the wonderful love the protagonists (Oliver Barett and Jennifer Cavilleri) share and how they cope with the imminent death of Jennifer. The most memorable thing about the book is the constant banter between the characters that might just have you rolling on the floor or touching a tissue to your eye.
Acts of Faith – This book is about three friends, two of them Jewish and the other, Roman Catholic. Deborah and Daniel are siblings, and their father is a prominent rabbi. But Daniel does not want to become a rabbi and Deborah decides to become one, breaking the rules of Orthodox Judaism which expressly forbids that a woman become a rabbi. It is a story of family ties under strain, pariahs not welcome in their home, even more so when Tim, the Roman Catholic and Deborah fall in love with each other. It inspires you to find the thing that you want most, even if it’s not allowed or inaccessible, because when you try hard enough, you will find it.
I can go on and on, but I will be exceeding my brief. So here is the list of books and I hope to have answered the question, the book(s) that inspired me the most?
January 15, 2006
When Terror Visited
28th Dec, 2005.
It was a cold evening in the month of December. I would have added, in the sleepy town of Bangalore. But that would have been referring to a bygone era. One of the safest havens in India, and i must admit, Rajiv Gandhi's assasins thought the same. It has always been a safe city.
A myth shattered by recent events. In the run up to it, we must consider the role IT has played in the transformation. The Silicon Valley of the East, the base of numerous software companies. One of the primary reasons Bangalore is now a cosmopolitan city with people from all over the country, and all over the world.
There have been events that indicated a terror strike was imminent. Terrorists apprehended in Delhi and elsewhere were found to be in possession of lists with Bangalore's premier institutions on the so called 'hit list'. Obviously, Bangalore's success as an IT hub has not gone unnoticed in other parts of the world. That includes the terrorist networks, whose primary focus in India had so far been concentrated on Jammu and Kashmir. Well, Not Anymore.
We are not prepared for any attack, I'm afraid. There was this case where a Bomb threat had been received at ITPL, and all the employees were evacuated out of the buildings. But after we were sent out of the buildings, there was no coordination. There were some who lingered on the adjoining lawns, looking up at the buildings. True, a terrorist attack does not come with any warnings, their intent is to kill innocents, not let them escape in time.
Coming to the shootout at IISc, the official reaction to the incident took many by surprise. The CM, safely esconsced in his bungalow leisured scheduled a meeting with the Chief of Police - at 11 AM the NEXT morning. By which time, the terrorists had plenty of time to make a clean getaway. Contrast this with the US/UK, where the the President/Prime Minister would have immediately scheduled status meetings; often running into the night with hourly reports being prepared on the progress in pursuing the guilty.
India has a long way to go where safety and security is concerned. A nation where human life is cheap, where reports of people dying is but an ordinary occurence. There are so many things we are imbibing from the west, but clearly, the value of human life is not one of them. The US would hunt down the killers of any US citizen. We can't and don't expect such a thing from our government. Its time for change. I wonder if anyone is listening.
It was a cold evening in the month of December. I would have added, in the sleepy town of Bangalore. But that would have been referring to a bygone era. One of the safest havens in India, and i must admit, Rajiv Gandhi's assasins thought the same. It has always been a safe city.
A myth shattered by recent events. In the run up to it, we must consider the role IT has played in the transformation. The Silicon Valley of the East, the base of numerous software companies. One of the primary reasons Bangalore is now a cosmopolitan city with people from all over the country, and all over the world.
There have been events that indicated a terror strike was imminent. Terrorists apprehended in Delhi and elsewhere were found to be in possession of lists with Bangalore's premier institutions on the so called 'hit list'. Obviously, Bangalore's success as an IT hub has not gone unnoticed in other parts of the world. That includes the terrorist networks, whose primary focus in India had so far been concentrated on Jammu and Kashmir. Well, Not Anymore.
We are not prepared for any attack, I'm afraid. There was this case where a Bomb threat had been received at ITPL, and all the employees were evacuated out of the buildings. But after we were sent out of the buildings, there was no coordination. There were some who lingered on the adjoining lawns, looking up at the buildings. True, a terrorist attack does not come with any warnings, their intent is to kill innocents, not let them escape in time.
Coming to the shootout at IISc, the official reaction to the incident took many by surprise. The CM, safely esconsced in his bungalow leisured scheduled a meeting with the Chief of Police - at 11 AM the NEXT morning. By which time, the terrorists had plenty of time to make a clean getaway. Contrast this with the US/UK, where the the President/Prime Minister would have immediately scheduled status meetings; often running into the night with hourly reports being prepared on the progress in pursuing the guilty.
India has a long way to go where safety and security is concerned. A nation where human life is cheap, where reports of people dying is but an ordinary occurence. There are so many things we are imbibing from the west, but clearly, the value of human life is not one of them. The US would hunt down the killers of any US citizen. We can't and don't expect such a thing from our government. Its time for change. I wonder if anyone is listening.
January 13, 2006
On the Bus - Do I see a silver lining?
Well, I DO spend quite a lot of time on the bus travelling to and from office, so please bear with me while I write another one about my time on the bus. This time, I am determined not to crib! :)
Lets take a look at the advantages of spending about three hours on the bus. Only the advantages, mind you!
Well, for starters, those who don't have time to contemplate on their lives have plenty of it - Time, I mean. We all lead such fast paced lives, and are constantly in a hurry. But on the bus, you have plenty of time to think about yourself, your day, where your life is going, the works. It gives you time to catch up on your life, coz as the cliche goes - Life is what happens when you are busy doing other things.
You get to make phone calls to all the people you dont wanna lose touch with. School friends. College friends. Ones you made in training. Sure, the person snoring next to you on the bus might not appreciate it. But what the heck, someone else is glad that you called him/her.
You can make new friends of the people who travel with you on the same route everyday. Or your friends might be taking the same route as you. It is a lot of fun, trust me, to re-discover the art of conversation that does not involve a mobile phone. Sure, everyone on the bus is gonna get disturbed when you and your friends are in the midst of a giggling fit. They might give you dirty - 'why are you making so much noise' looks. But you dont really care, do you?
When you are not talking on the bus, you get time to catch up on your reading. An avid book enthusiast like me, would love to have all that time where no one is gonna tell ya 'Could you please run to the grocery shop and get me some stuff'. Sure, your eyesight is gonna get worse with the bus driver driving like a maniac, but hey, your eyesight's not getting any better even if don't read!
Speeding on the Outer Ring Road, you look out your window and wonder 'Wow! No Traffic!'. Quickly you thank your lucky stars. Thats when you notice the stars in the sky. Its just past sunset, when you can see stars and there are hues of the bright sunset sky still left. And a lake reflects the city lights and it simply takes your breath away. It makes you wonder if the hassles filled journey is worth just this one moment of breathtaking beauty. You think, Maybe, just maybe, it IS!
Lets take a look at the advantages of spending about three hours on the bus. Only the advantages, mind you!
Well, for starters, those who don't have time to contemplate on their lives have plenty of it - Time, I mean. We all lead such fast paced lives, and are constantly in a hurry. But on the bus, you have plenty of time to think about yourself, your day, where your life is going, the works. It gives you time to catch up on your life, coz as the cliche goes - Life is what happens when you are busy doing other things.
You get to make phone calls to all the people you dont wanna lose touch with. School friends. College friends. Ones you made in training. Sure, the person snoring next to you on the bus might not appreciate it. But what the heck, someone else is glad that you called him/her.
You can make new friends of the people who travel with you on the same route everyday. Or your friends might be taking the same route as you. It is a lot of fun, trust me, to re-discover the art of conversation that does not involve a mobile phone. Sure, everyone on the bus is gonna get disturbed when you and your friends are in the midst of a giggling fit. They might give you dirty - 'why are you making so much noise' looks. But you dont really care, do you?
When you are not talking on the bus, you get time to catch up on your reading. An avid book enthusiast like me, would love to have all that time where no one is gonna tell ya 'Could you please run to the grocery shop and get me some stuff'. Sure, your eyesight is gonna get worse with the bus driver driving like a maniac, but hey, your eyesight's not getting any better even if don't read!
Speeding on the Outer Ring Road, you look out your window and wonder 'Wow! No Traffic!'. Quickly you thank your lucky stars. Thats when you notice the stars in the sky. Its just past sunset, when you can see stars and there are hues of the bright sunset sky still left. And a lake reflects the city lights and it simply takes your breath away. It makes you wonder if the hassles filled journey is worth just this one moment of breathtaking beauty. You think, Maybe, just maybe, it IS!
January 10, 2006
Mallu Land Ahead!!
Dips' class is planning a trip. To kerala, also known as Mallu Land.. and since we both share a passion, rather the lack of it, for the tongue numbing cuisine served there, i came up with the below:
mallu land!!
here she comes,
take out ur drums..
herald her arrival..
she wil be fighting for survival..
so please appease her taste buds..
or ur reputation wil be shot to the mud!!
To the residents of mallu land - pl don take it dil pe ;)
mallu land!!
here she comes,
take out ur drums..
herald her arrival..
she wil be fighting for survival..
so please appease her taste buds..
or ur reputation wil be shot to the mud!!
To the residents of mallu land - pl don take it dil pe ;)
January 09, 2006
In Desperation
He stared down at the list of monies owed
a long list of debts accrued down the road
a future unfathomable,
the journey interminable.
Life is a bed of roses, or so it had seemed
until the day to the lawyer he had been
(to see) coz he had called and said
'I'm afraid u are in trouble my friend'
'There is no more cash
since ur last birthday bash
now u will have to spend frugally
and start investing prudently'
Said the wise old man
who had been his dad's avid fan
Appointed to manage his Trust Fund
He had tried all he could to warn the young 'un.
But to his words the man paid no heed
and he continued to fulfill his every need
till the day the money ran out
and the debts started to mount
To the present he came back
how he wished he had changed tracks
Now the future looked so bleak
He berated himself 'why am i so weak?'
The empty walls would not answer
his problem was like a cancer
that had spiralled without control
now leading to a future untold
All his family treasures were put on the block
All his possessions were under lock
And now he would have to sell
the Mansion in which his family had dwelled
The bottle of poison beckoned to him
To end his life, easy it seemed
He could feel the ghosts of his ancestors
clucking at him for not facing his fears
But this was the right thing to do
this was the answer that rang true
and so he put down the bottle on the floor
Head held High, he walked out the door.
a long list of debts accrued down the road
a future unfathomable,
the journey interminable.
Life is a bed of roses, or so it had seemed
until the day to the lawyer he had been
(to see) coz he had called and said
'I'm afraid u are in trouble my friend'
'There is no more cash
since ur last birthday bash
now u will have to spend frugally
and start investing prudently'
Said the wise old man
who had been his dad's avid fan
Appointed to manage his Trust Fund
He had tried all he could to warn the young 'un.
But to his words the man paid no heed
and he continued to fulfill his every need
till the day the money ran out
and the debts started to mount
To the present he came back
how he wished he had changed tracks
Now the future looked so bleak
He berated himself 'why am i so weak?'
The empty walls would not answer
his problem was like a cancer
that had spiralled without control
now leading to a future untold
All his family treasures were put on the block
All his possessions were under lock
And now he would have to sell
the Mansion in which his family had dwelled
The bottle of poison beckoned to him
To end his life, easy it seemed
He could feel the ghosts of his ancestors
clucking at him for not facing his fears
But this was the right thing to do
this was the answer that rang true
and so he put down the bottle on the floor
Head held High, he walked out the door.
January 07, 2006
Did you like Dumbledore??
While you were watching Goblet of Fire, the movie, did you think at any point during it.. "Thats not how Dumbledore is!!" ? Outside the theatre, I met my cousin's best bud, and this is what she had to say about Dumbledore 'I am not watching the next one if he's still playing Dumbledore!' The first movie had the best Dumbledore ever. But he had to go and die!! (in real life)
When you read the book, Dumbledore, lets call him D for short, shall we? D is supposed to be this awe-inspiring person. In the movie, he's nothing but a clown. Where D in the book can shake up an audience into silence by clearing his throat, D in the movie has to jump up animatedly and scream 'Silence!' to achieve the same. Pretty pathetic, for a headmaster who is the only wizard You-Know-Who feared.
Am sure if you agree with me, you will definitely agree to the part where D puts both his hands on Harry in an exaggerated movement, and says "Harry Potter!" scaring the wits outta poor Daniel Radcliffe. Ah well, if you don't remember, just watch the movie! I met dips, a good friend of mine.. and when we started talkin about the movie, the first thing we did was imitate this scene. We thought of it at the same moment! Coz this is one of the profoundly meaningful scenes tossed into a pitiable mediocrity, thanks to none other than Mr.D!!
Hoping that they have a dignified, awe-inspiring Dumbledore atleast on the next movie,
Rush
When you read the book, Dumbledore, lets call him D for short, shall we? D is supposed to be this awe-inspiring person. In the movie, he's nothing but a clown. Where D in the book can shake up an audience into silence by clearing his throat, D in the movie has to jump up animatedly and scream 'Silence!' to achieve the same. Pretty pathetic, for a headmaster who is the only wizard You-Know-Who feared.
Am sure if you agree with me, you will definitely agree to the part where D puts both his hands on Harry in an exaggerated movement, and says "Harry Potter!" scaring the wits outta poor Daniel Radcliffe. Ah well, if you don't remember, just watch the movie! I met dips, a good friend of mine.. and when we started talkin about the movie, the first thing we did was imitate this scene. We thought of it at the same moment! Coz this is one of the profoundly meaningful scenes tossed into a pitiable mediocrity, thanks to none other than Mr.D!!
Hoping that they have a dignified, awe-inspiring Dumbledore atleast on the next movie,
Rush
January 01, 2006
Happy New Year!!
Its that time of the year,
to reach out to those near and dear,
to spread around the cheer,
and wish everyone a Happy New Year!!
Have a great time ppl!
to reach out to those near and dear,
to spread around the cheer,
and wish everyone a Happy New Year!!
Have a great time ppl!
December 09, 2005
Clash of the Titans
It was a battle, from the start. Two giants in contention for the prize, only one could win. Most of the girls flocked to Sham's team. Spying began in right earnest. Some overtly, some covertly. The desire to have fun reigned supreme.
All of us turned professional actors overnight. The first scene taken from director Binu's cam did not need any retakes. Deva, as a pickpocket was so convincing, he will never need to worry if TCS goes bankrupt.
Jo declared, 'I want a glamorous role!'. And glamour was what she got. A romantic dinner at Civet, which ended with Prasad (Kanvinde) proposing to her. Every girl's dream, except, this one was just for the camera. The romance continued, with Nithya and Sushant Paul Jr., growing old together.
Srini was unrecognisable as an astrologer. Another person who needn't look too far for an alternative career. Parag was a natural. Giving impromptu one liners in the scene, with us onlookers trying hard not to laugh, and Srini taking them in his stride and not getting flustered with the change in dialogues!
Dodo, as the Call centre rep was extremely professional. So much so that she attended Prasad Rao's call with a "Hi, This is American Express, Cathy speaking. How may I help you?!" leaving him very confused indeed. He has every reason to be, what with people being so good at their roles on camera, they might just take it up professionally!
There were too many hilarious moments, to list them all out, one that stands out is Dodo answering Parag's call with a "Hi, This is American Express. How may I help you?!"
and him saying "Hi Cathy, This is Parag here."
Realisation strikes! "Arre, usne Cathy nahin bola yaar!"
Retake!
Tring Tring. No answer from Dodo. Parag turns around, "6661 right?". (Vijay's extension!)
Retake!
Srini had a double role, as the father of two spoilt kids, Sumen and the great Rush :) Animol played his wife, and Srini could not stop flirting with poor Ani! Called her 'Neighbour's envy!' when Binu was supposed to play the dad.
We rounded it off with a song written especially for the occasion, to the tune of 'If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands'.
All of us were clapping our hands, and singing along, and this is our song:
"We are SSP and we give you the best" Clap clap clap
"We are SSP and we give you the best" Clap clap clap
So just pick up the phone and give us a call,
And we'll service you at our very best! Clap clap clap
"We are SSP and we give you the best" Clap clap clap
"We are SSP and we give you the best" Clap clap clap
So spend without fear, coz your card's always near,
And we'll service you at our very best! Clap clap clap
All of us turned professional actors overnight. The first scene taken from director Binu's cam did not need any retakes. Deva, as a pickpocket was so convincing, he will never need to worry if TCS goes bankrupt.
Jo declared, 'I want a glamorous role!'. And glamour was what she got. A romantic dinner at Civet, which ended with Prasad (Kanvinde) proposing to her. Every girl's dream, except, this one was just for the camera. The romance continued, with Nithya and Sushant Paul Jr., growing old together.
Srini was unrecognisable as an astrologer. Another person who needn't look too far for an alternative career. Parag was a natural. Giving impromptu one liners in the scene, with us onlookers trying hard not to laugh, and Srini taking them in his stride and not getting flustered with the change in dialogues!
Dodo, as the Call centre rep was extremely professional. So much so that she attended Prasad Rao's call with a "Hi, This is American Express, Cathy speaking. How may I help you?!" leaving him very confused indeed. He has every reason to be, what with people being so good at their roles on camera, they might just take it up professionally!
There were too many hilarious moments, to list them all out, one that stands out is Dodo answering Parag's call with a "Hi, This is American Express. How may I help you?!"
and him saying "Hi Cathy, This is Parag here."
Realisation strikes! "Arre, usne Cathy nahin bola yaar!"
Retake!
Tring Tring. No answer from Dodo. Parag turns around, "6661 right?". (Vijay's extension!)
Retake!
Srini had a double role, as the father of two spoilt kids, Sumen and the great Rush :) Animol played his wife, and Srini could not stop flirting with poor Ani! Called her 'Neighbour's envy!' when Binu was supposed to play the dad.
We rounded it off with a song written especially for the occasion, to the tune of 'If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands'.
All of us were clapping our hands, and singing along, and this is our song:
"We are SSP and we give you the best" Clap clap clap
"We are SSP and we give you the best" Clap clap clap
So just pick up the phone and give us a call,
And we'll service you at our very best! Clap clap clap
"We are SSP and we give you the best" Clap clap clap
"We are SSP and we give you the best" Clap clap clap
So spend without fear, coz your card's always near,
And we'll service you at our very best! Clap clap clap
November 13, 2005
Droppings
Shirley the crow, let out a fart,
and there was a resounding pop!
Burns standing below touched his mop
of hair and felt the drop.
'Oh no, not now , of all days!' he said
If only Time did listen to us, we would all be glad!
'I have a very important date,
and she might be my perfect mate!'
'Well then, why do you mind?
I wouldn't if I were you, what with that behind!'
cackled wise old Shirley,
she knew what she was talking about,didnt she?
and there was a resounding pop!
Burns standing below touched his mop
of hair and felt the drop.
'Oh no, not now , of all days!' he said
If only Time did listen to us, we would all be glad!
'I have a very important date,
and she might be my perfect mate!'
'Well then, why do you mind?
I wouldn't if I were you, what with that behind!'
cackled wise old Shirley,
she knew what she was talking about,didnt she?
November 01, 2005
Agony
I stare out of the window
with unseeing eyes.
I see huge dark clouds
that aren't even there.
Its a bright sunny day
But my day, or should I say my Life
Is not Picture perfect.
No one's life is,
Mine, even more so.
with unseeing eyes.
I see huge dark clouds
that aren't even there.
Its a bright sunny day
But my day, or should I say my Life
Is not Picture perfect.
No one's life is,
Mine, even more so.
October 31, 2005
Happy Diwali!
Wrote this for my 'Calvin and Hobbes' mail recipients :) ( Let me know if you want to receive them everyday!)
Its that time of the year,
when u grin from ear to ear,
at strangers and those familiar,
And say 'DIWALI's here!!!'
Happy Diwali!!
Let the day dawn nice and bright,
and the evenings be full of light,
make merry with those near and dear,
and cherish the beginning of another year,
that is all I have to say to you,
Happy Diwali and God Bless You!
Its that time of the year,
when u grin from ear to ear,
at strangers and those familiar,
And say 'DIWALI's here!!!'
Happy Diwali!!
Let the day dawn nice and bright,
and the evenings be full of light,
make merry with those near and dear,
and cherish the beginning of another year,
that is all I have to say to you,
Happy Diwali and God Bless You!
October 29, 2005
Who was Joanne?
The arrival of the letter,
threw the inmates in a flutter,
and it begged the question,
of the identity of the person.
Who was Joanne?
With a gleam in her eye,
old Judy said 'aye,
It must be the slut,
Miss Annie Nuttlebut'.
Who was Joanne?
'Hush Judy, exercise caution'
Opined Martha, in charge of the action,
'It is not our place to accuse,
this behaviour cannot be excused'.
Who was Joanne?
Sheila loved gossip and scandal,
oh what stories she told of heroes and vandals,
'I think its a code name'
said the very same dame.
Who was Joanne?
'Who could it be' they asked,
around Sheila, they flocked.
Read us the letter,
Loudly, don't just mutter!
Who was Joanne?
'My Dear Darling Joanne,
Meet me after nine,
At the usual place,
Am dying to see your lovely face'
Who was Joanne?
'Let's all watch at nine,
and we will see who meets the swine,
who had the temerity,
to flout authority.'
'Why, its this stupid bag'
Jenny she was known as,
now they knew it was all a farce.
the usual place being the brook,
The lodgers of 'The Drinkleys'
Had fun over their little mystery.
Who was Joanne?
threw the inmates in a flutter,
and it begged the question,
of the identity of the person.
Who was Joanne?
With a gleam in her eye,
old Judy said 'aye,
It must be the slut,
Miss Annie Nuttlebut'.
Who was Joanne?
'Hush Judy, exercise caution'
Opined Martha, in charge of the action,
'It is not our place to accuse,
this behaviour cannot be excused'.
Who was Joanne?
Sheila loved gossip and scandal,
oh what stories she told of heroes and vandals,
'I think its a code name'
said the very same dame.
Who was Joanne?
'Who could it be' they asked,
around Sheila, they flocked.
Read us the letter,
Loudly, don't just mutter!
Who was Joanne?
'My Dear Darling Joanne,
Meet me after nine,
At the usual place,
Am dying to see your lovely face'
Who was Joanne?
'Let's all watch at nine,
and we will see who meets the swine,
who had the temerity,
to flout authority.'
Who was Joanne?
They saw the wizened old hag,
'Why, its this stupid bag'
Jenny she was known as,
now they knew it was all a farce.
Who was Joanne?
She met up with the cook,the usual place being the brook,
The lodgers of 'The Drinkleys'
Had fun over their little mystery.
Who was Joanne?
October 26, 2005
Dont Sit Next to Me
I travel by the bus. I don't have a choice. No say in the matter. And why would I, when my office is 30 kms from my house? It is economical and safe. I have to keep reiterating that, to myself most of all. And it supposedly is the stress - free way to travel. You guessed it, I live in Bangalore.
I like sitting by myself. In a three seater, if that would be alright with you. But No, you discover its not. Not alright. Why cant they just let me be? I used to sit at the beginning of the bus, hoping the people who hop on will think there will be more seats at the back and head there. That didnt work. So I shifted to a seat at the middle of the bus. Neither here nor there. Neither at the front nor at the back.
Did that help, you ask. Well it didnt. So what did I do? Shifted my place right to the back of the bus. Yippeee! Joy at last! You would think.
Oh no! That didn't work either! There is a breed of people who head valiantly to the end of the bus, fighting off the efforts of the driver to throw any standing person off his rockers. Its a battle, quite like David against Goliath. Some lesser mortals do lose the battle. And by mortals, I do not mean the guys alone. The guys I have observed, will not sit next to a female if they can avoid it. Works for me, I don't want people crowding me. Of any gender.
Its a little difficult to ward off the females though. The ones who do aspire to make it to the back of the bus and succeed, are the persistant lot.
"No eye contact, no eye contact" I remind myself. Some are put away by the deliberate evasion of the most effective tool in communication. But No, there are some who do manage to cross all the above obstacles and do manage to plant themselves beside me.
"Oh she's a thin one, I will have plenty of space" must be the triumphant thought in their minds as they sit down. And then spend a few minutes occupying the maximum space in minimum amount of time. I try to list down ten advantages of being thin in my head.
In the three seater, it is absolutely no problem when another person plonks herself beside me. Its the school of fish mentality that I am worried about. Coz the next female boarding the bus will see two females sitting in the same seat, and make a beeline for it. Even if it is in the back. And then we are back to the cramped seat situation, where I, as the thinnest, get pushed the most. Back to Square One.
And so the journey continues. The interminably long, cramped journey, all the way to hell and back.
I like sitting by myself. In a three seater, if that would be alright with you. But No, you discover its not. Not alright. Why cant they just let me be? I used to sit at the beginning of the bus, hoping the people who hop on will think there will be more seats at the back and head there. That didnt work. So I shifted to a seat at the middle of the bus. Neither here nor there. Neither at the front nor at the back.
Did that help, you ask. Well it didnt. So what did I do? Shifted my place right to the back of the bus. Yippeee! Joy at last! You would think.
Oh no! That didn't work either! There is a breed of people who head valiantly to the end of the bus, fighting off the efforts of the driver to throw any standing person off his rockers. Its a battle, quite like David against Goliath. Some lesser mortals do lose the battle. And by mortals, I do not mean the guys alone. The guys I have observed, will not sit next to a female if they can avoid it. Works for me, I don't want people crowding me. Of any gender.
Its a little difficult to ward off the females though. The ones who do aspire to make it to the back of the bus and succeed, are the persistant lot.
"No eye contact, no eye contact" I remind myself. Some are put away by the deliberate evasion of the most effective tool in communication. But No, there are some who do manage to cross all the above obstacles and do manage to plant themselves beside me.
"Oh she's a thin one, I will have plenty of space" must be the triumphant thought in their minds as they sit down. And then spend a few minutes occupying the maximum space in minimum amount of time. I try to list down ten advantages of being thin in my head.
In the three seater, it is absolutely no problem when another person plonks herself beside me. Its the school of fish mentality that I am worried about. Coz the next female boarding the bus will see two females sitting in the same seat, and make a beeline for it. Even if it is in the back. And then we are back to the cramped seat situation, where I, as the thinnest, get pushed the most. Back to Square One.
And so the journey continues. The interminably long, cramped journey, all the way to hell and back.
October 22, 2005
When Love Is In The Air
when love is in the air,
life seems rosy and fair.
there's always a smile on your lips,
and that one person you always miss.
each song seems to hold a special meaning
and you find that you are always dreaming
there’s a spring in your step
and that name in every breath
you wait for the phone to ring
for the happiness that would bring
coz when love is in the air,
life seems rosy and fair.
life seems rosy and fair.
there's always a smile on your lips,
and that one person you always miss.
each song seems to hold a special meaning
and you find that you are always dreaming
there’s a spring in your step
and that name in every breath
you wait for the phone to ring
for the happiness that would bring
coz when love is in the air,
life seems rosy and fair.
A Rainy Day
i was walkin down the street
drummin my fingers to my ipod's beats
the rain came pouring in sheets
oh god will it stop raining please?
i rushed into a mall,
which screamed 'come in ye all'
had to meet a pal
still cant believe he had the gall
in the middle of the night he gives me a call
to say - lets meet up tomorrow and have a ball!
in answer i gave a snarl,
but here i am, standing not quite so tall
ready to scream and yell
why are you angry,do tell
pitter patter the rain drops fell
amazing,the earth did smell
the rain's not so bad after all,
i thought, as my anger took a fall.
i smiled as i went further into the mall,
which screamed 'come in ye all'.
drummin my fingers to my ipod's beats
the rain came pouring in sheets
oh god will it stop raining please?
i rushed into a mall,
which screamed 'come in ye all'
had to meet a pal
still cant believe he had the gall
in the middle of the night he gives me a call
to say - lets meet up tomorrow and have a ball!
in answer i gave a snarl,
but here i am, standing not quite so tall
ready to scream and yell
why are you angry,do tell
pitter patter the rain drops fell
amazing,the earth did smell
the rain's not so bad after all,
i thought, as my anger took a fall.
i smiled as i went further into the mall,
which screamed 'come in ye all'.
October 09, 2005
Cake
The sweet smell assailed my nostrils,
anticipation spread from my tongue to my tonsils.
The smell was that of vanilla,
quite different from the pines of manila.
I wondered what lay cooking in the oven,
the dangers of opening it amidst, were but proven.
As I debated what my mom had just made,
she called out to me saying she had baked a cake!
After it was done, on it we did gorge,
without saving a morsel for dear sweet george.
And no this is not the george of the bush clan,
who I really think should be doing time in the slam.
george is the neighbour's dog,who simply loves to hog.
Thus ends the story of the cake,
which vanished seconds after it was baked.
anticipation spread from my tongue to my tonsils.
The smell was that of vanilla,
quite different from the pines of manila.
I wondered what lay cooking in the oven,
the dangers of opening it amidst, were but proven.
As I debated what my mom had just made,
she called out to me saying she had baked a cake!
After it was done, on it we did gorge,
without saving a morsel for dear sweet george.
And no this is not the george of the bush clan,
who I really think should be doing time in the slam.
george is the neighbour's dog,who simply loves to hog.
Thus ends the story of the cake,
which vanished seconds after it was baked.
October 04, 2005
The Truth about Charlie
There was a fire alarm. Supposedly a demo, but nobody knows if that was the real reason.
Well, I will tell you the real reason. Charlie was angry. Angry with his angels, with his team and
with the world in general. Coz they didnt give him enough time. Time to hang out with Tiny.
He really tried hard to spend time with her. He even started working. Till ten in the night. Now
you know why! He would spend all of that time at her desk. He wouldnt speak to us, his
angels, he didnt want to make Tiny jealous.
But all his efforts were of no avail. There were just too many people around! So he became
desperate. Tried to forget her by calling in sick, complaining of tooth ache, while he was
actually suffering from Heart-ache.
He just could not forget about her. So he did the unthinkable. He smoked so much, he set off
the fire alarms in the building. When people rushed out of the building, he stayed back. And
cooked up the pretext of a call, to get Tiny along. Nobody noticed their absence.
Until lunch time. We were all settling down to lunch, with Psycho reserving a space for Charlie.
Little did he know what Charlie was upto. Suddenly one of the angels piped up with 'Where's
Charlie?... and Tiny ?'. A mischevious gleam came into our eyes. Charlie was caught!
One of his rivals for Tiny's affections, was mysteriously sent abroad. So all you guys out there..
Beware of Charlie!
Sincerely,
One of the Angels
Well, I will tell you the real reason. Charlie was angry. Angry with his angels, with his team and
with the world in general. Coz they didnt give him enough time. Time to hang out with Tiny.
He really tried hard to spend time with her. He even started working. Till ten in the night. Now
you know why! He would spend all of that time at her desk. He wouldnt speak to us, his
angels, he didnt want to make Tiny jealous.
But all his efforts were of no avail. There were just too many people around! So he became
desperate. Tried to forget her by calling in sick, complaining of tooth ache, while he was
actually suffering from Heart-ache.
He just could not forget about her. So he did the unthinkable. He smoked so much, he set off
the fire alarms in the building. When people rushed out of the building, he stayed back. And
cooked up the pretext of a call, to get Tiny along. Nobody noticed their absence.
Until lunch time. We were all settling down to lunch, with Psycho reserving a space for Charlie.
Little did he know what Charlie was upto. Suddenly one of the angels piped up with 'Where's
Charlie?... and Tiny ?'. A mischevious gleam came into our eyes. Charlie was caught!
One of his rivals for Tiny's affections, was mysteriously sent abroad. So all you guys out there..
Beware of Charlie!
Sincerely,
One of the Angels
August 24, 2005
My Rules
1 - not everyone on this planet is dumb
2- money doesnt grow on trees,how muchever you want it to
3 - earth is not flat.. our perceptions are
4 - if u let ppl talk,they can go on and on and on and on
5 - whatever Rush says is the truth and the absolute truth
6 - its never too late to send me some money!!
2- money doesnt grow on trees,how muchever you want it to
3 - earth is not flat.. our perceptions are
4 - if u let ppl talk,they can go on and on and on and on
5 - whatever Rush says is the truth and the absolute truth
6 - its never too late to send me some money!!
August 14, 2005
The day we made Soap
It was a long time ago. We were about 12 yrs old. Learning about how soaps were made. Along with a little bit of Shakespeare, amongst other things. We decided to make soap, on our own. “Out of Natural stuff” said Pratiti. “Of course!” replied Sapna.
They are my best friends. Four of us, till we were about 15, then Anu joined us. And we have been best friends always. Long standing friends, we will always be. Janani’s house was chosen as the ‘factory’, so to speak. For making the soap. Jolly jelly janani, we have always called her. Mainly cause she had jelly knees and would fall down at the drop of a hat. I say this, despite being one of the clumsiest people I know.
Janani’s house was chosen as the spot cause it had a beautiful garden, and loads of space in the backyard. The garden became our evening hang out. We would pick leaves from the garden, from whichever plant was proclaimed good. We needed a fireplace. Obviously the soap would have to be distilled! So we set about making a fireplace, large enough to hold a pot of our ‘soap’ solution. The fireplace somehow looked like the Indian commode by the time we were done ‘building’ it.
Our soap solution, was quite green - brown in colour. It had an assortment of leaves in it, which to our credit, we had crushed and boiled. Burning the solution, however, attracted attention. Lakshmi, a girl who played in the park nearby, and who happened to be our classmate, came to see what it was. We didn’t want any intruders claiming credit for any glory that was reserved for us. Janani drove her away, with a characteristic story about us boiling roaches and eating them. She loved scaring away people with stories like that. How people actually believed her, I know not, for she is a staunch vegetarian. Well, if there is one thing we have learned, it is that people can be gullible.
Anyway, between driving away inquisitive people and boiling the soap stuff, a month passed. But the solution refused to solidify. We had thought of suitable bakras who would try out our soap for us, but we didn’t think they would fall for a green liquid. We thought a little time would help solidify the stuff. But we needed a place where it would remain undisturbed. Janani came up with a brain wave.
“The servants’ quarters is unused, we can use that!”
It seemed a perfect idea. We walked stealthily to that section of her house, placed the bowl out of sight, and walked back with self-satisfied smiles on our faces. And promptly forgot about it.
That is, till about two months later, when my mom greeted me with ‘What the hell were you girls thinking?!’ The cat was out of the bag. Janani’s mom was just checking up on the servants quarters, when she thought she smelled something dreadful. Well, you know what it was!
They are my best friends. Four of us, till we were about 15, then Anu joined us. And we have been best friends always. Long standing friends, we will always be. Janani’s house was chosen as the ‘factory’, so to speak. For making the soap. Jolly jelly janani, we have always called her. Mainly cause she had jelly knees and would fall down at the drop of a hat. I say this, despite being one of the clumsiest people I know.
Janani’s house was chosen as the spot cause it had a beautiful garden, and loads of space in the backyard. The garden became our evening hang out. We would pick leaves from the garden, from whichever plant was proclaimed good. We needed a fireplace. Obviously the soap would have to be distilled! So we set about making a fireplace, large enough to hold a pot of our ‘soap’ solution. The fireplace somehow looked like the Indian commode by the time we were done ‘building’ it.
Our soap solution, was quite green - brown in colour. It had an assortment of leaves in it, which to our credit, we had crushed and boiled. Burning the solution, however, attracted attention. Lakshmi, a girl who played in the park nearby, and who happened to be our classmate, came to see what it was. We didn’t want any intruders claiming credit for any glory that was reserved for us. Janani drove her away, with a characteristic story about us boiling roaches and eating them. She loved scaring away people with stories like that. How people actually believed her, I know not, for she is a staunch vegetarian. Well, if there is one thing we have learned, it is that people can be gullible.
Anyway, between driving away inquisitive people and boiling the soap stuff, a month passed. But the solution refused to solidify. We had thought of suitable bakras who would try out our soap for us, but we didn’t think they would fall for a green liquid. We thought a little time would help solidify the stuff. But we needed a place where it would remain undisturbed. Janani came up with a brain wave.
“The servants’ quarters is unused, we can use that!”
It seemed a perfect idea. We walked stealthily to that section of her house, placed the bowl out of sight, and walked back with self-satisfied smiles on our faces. And promptly forgot about it.
That is, till about two months later, when my mom greeted me with ‘What the hell were you girls thinking?!’ The cat was out of the bag. Janani’s mom was just checking up on the servants quarters, when she thought she smelled something dreadful. Well, you know what it was!
July 26, 2005
Obituary of 2004!
Take 1
Place: Office!!
Occasion: Xmas Eve!
Mission: Have fun!
Status: Mission Accomplished!
The celebrations heralding Xmas Eve reached a high crescendo
competing with that of the joyous carol singers. Smitha and Tresa
really did us proud, along with Pratyush who joined along in their
rendition of 'Jingle Bells'.
The task of decorating the office was taken up like any other project
– with determination and enthusiasm. We had people competing with each
other for white space on the ceiling, or rather, for ANY space!! The
computer monitors weren't spared either… as Sumen's showed.
Everyone had their hands full, quite literally.. with cello tape!
Venkat showed his hidden talent – as a master tape-cutter(if that is
the word), cutting tape for up to 10 people per minute, definitely a
world record; using scissors stolen from me, I must add( that I had
flicked it from Sanjay is of no consequence).
Pavan emerged to be quite the interior decorator, doing his bit for
almost everyone! The Prod Support corner looked bright and
cheerful (no, I am not talking about Shuchita's presence there), with
electric stars lighting up the place. The .net team outdid themselves
by leaving a New Year message right on the wall, which actually is
made out to look like a face, albeit on closer inspection.
The cubicles decoration part of the festivities really brought out
talents that aren't usually put on show, be it Raghav's intricate
match-work or Nidhi's resourcefulness in putting up the ITPL Park on
her desk at the last minute. As did the Collage, in bringing out the
creativity and oratory skills of everyone. Liyon could have an
alternative career as a politician!
The best part of the day being Murthy's and Satish's visit. Their
appreciation of the SDP Team went down very well with the audience, as
did the delicious cakes!
Take 2
Place: ITPL Grounds
Occasion: New Year's Eve!
Mission: Have fun!
Status: Mission Accomplished!
After a team lunch at Food 4 Thought, all of us headed for the ITPL
grounds with nothing but Fun to look forward to. Venky kick started
the games with his 'Treasure Hunt', and everyone rushed to find
Brahma, after Nidhi unwittingly announced the answer to the first
clue. The next game to be announced was the 'King/Queen of Hearts',
after which every conversation became suspect, with people being
conned into giving up their 'hearts'. As everyone found out to their
dismay, 'All's fair in love and war and….King/Queen of hearts'!
One can imagine the look on unsuspecting Karan's face( who wasn't
present at the time of the announcement of the game), when Shuchita
asked him to give her his heart! The Races, held under Raman's
supervision, saw Ravi emerge as the champion of sprint and
the guy who loves his motherland.(for those who dunno, he fell three
times!)
Dumb Charades saw unexpected talents emerging – Tanuja's lung power,
as Team C found out, and Jo's Kathak dancing, which Maqsood imitated
really well! The Family Game got over really soon, with Dog family and
Cockroach family sharing the same platform as the Bush family and the
Laloo Family!
Tambola was the game everyone had been waiting for, a chance to make
money hand over fist. This game saw seasoned pros like Vikram and
Venkat losing for the first time in their Tambola careers. And the
unexpected twist came in the form of Maqsood, the organizer, winning
'first house'. Any suggestion/indication of foul play is currently
under investigation, with his promise of treating everyone at 'Civet'
expected to be fulfilled anytime soon. Over to Maqsood.
All this would certainly have not been possible if not for Raghav and
Rajiv, from their immense budgeting skills(Chidambarams in the
making!) to their organizational skills and people skills, to name a
few. The enthusiasm and sportsmanship of everyone, goes without
saying, to show that we are, indeed, some of the best in the world!
Wishin u all a very happy New Year and hoping we get that treat from Maqsood,
Rush
Cricket Fever
It looked like the match would be abandoned due to rain, or rather, drizzle. But the Invincibles and the Vincibles were undaunted in their quest to be the winning team.
The Vincibles went in to bat in the first match. Wickets fell rapidly, Raman’s caught and bowled being a highlight. Prasad was like a maestro, coming in only to bat. Karan’s batting was very much in the all or none style..hitting only fours or taking no runs. That probably had something to do with the fact that Jo was at the other end. Jo stuck to her captain’s advice to NOT do anything…till she felt a little adventurous and lifted the bat, and connected with the ball. Sumen, her dearest friend, caught it and sincerely apologized to her for doing so.
The Invincibles won the first match and lost the second. Vineet and Venkat bowled really well…..hmmm, the ‘V’ factor? Sahana surprised herself and everybody by fielding like a pro. Raghav, who missed a couple of catches, fielded pretty well for the opposition!!
Guru, or should I say Ambareesh, turned into Inzamam-ul-Haq while batting, and Nayan Mongia while keeping wickets. When a slight mist settled on the ground, we had no difficulty spotting Raman, whose orange shirt was like a lighthouse beacon guiding ships to safety in the dark. Liyon was so tired after batting that he settled into the Shavasana posture of yoga, but we couldn’t find a camera phone in time to capture that image for posterity (as Rajiv would put it). Sarma was regaling us with his account of how he fainted while learning how to whistle. A very good reason for getting Sick Leave, one must add.
Rajiv’s knees were knocking together while he batted, he was shivering so much. Whether at the thought of losing money in treating me at Civette (I was next batsman, so I threatened that he’ll have to treat me if he lost his wicket), or in fear of losing his job if he didn’t do well(jus kiddin’), I don’t know!
Tusshar turned into a ferocious Shoaib Akhtar during the match, hairstyle et al, scaring the hell out of some people.. Jo, for instance, when she dropped a catch. Sumen played the role of waterboy; ice-cream boy, more specifically, bringing us some delicious ice cream. There was this person ( debojeet, I think) who used to dive(die?) everytime the ball came his way and had a helluva time getting back on his feet.
Venkat’s antique video cam didn’t provide much help to the third umpire, but was useful to catch the after-match camaraderie on video.
Coming to the part I played, or didn’t play in the match…. I missed atleast two catches, as far as I noticed. The ball zoomed past me like the golden snitch in a game of quidditch (remember Harry Potter?)
Hoping I’ll be allowed to improve upon my performance,(or non-performance) in future matches and that a tie breaker match be held to decide the real "INVINCIBLES",
The Vincibles went in to bat in the first match. Wickets fell rapidly, Raman’s caught and bowled being a highlight. Prasad was like a maestro, coming in only to bat. Karan’s batting was very much in the all or none style..hitting only fours or taking no runs. That probably had something to do with the fact that Jo was at the other end. Jo stuck to her captain’s advice to NOT do anything…till she felt a little adventurous and lifted the bat, and connected with the ball. Sumen, her dearest friend, caught it and sincerely apologized to her for doing so.
The Invincibles won the first match and lost the second. Vineet and Venkat bowled really well…..hmmm, the ‘V’ factor? Sahana surprised herself and everybody by fielding like a pro. Raghav, who missed a couple of catches, fielded pretty well for the opposition!!
Guru, or should I say Ambareesh, turned into Inzamam-ul-Haq while batting, and Nayan Mongia while keeping wickets. When a slight mist settled on the ground, we had no difficulty spotting Raman, whose orange shirt was like a lighthouse beacon guiding ships to safety in the dark. Liyon was so tired after batting that he settled into the Shavasana posture of yoga, but we couldn’t find a camera phone in time to capture that image for posterity (as Rajiv would put it). Sarma was regaling us with his account of how he fainted while learning how to whistle. A very good reason for getting Sick Leave, one must add.
Rajiv’s knees were knocking together while he batted, he was shivering so much. Whether at the thought of losing money in treating me at Civette (I was next batsman, so I threatened that he’ll have to treat me if he lost his wicket), or in fear of losing his job if he didn’t do well(jus kiddin’), I don’t know!
Tusshar turned into a ferocious Shoaib Akhtar during the match, hairstyle et al, scaring the hell out of some people.. Jo, for instance, when she dropped a catch. Sumen played the role of waterboy; ice-cream boy, more specifically, bringing us some delicious ice cream. There was this person ( debojeet, I think) who used to dive(die?) everytime the ball came his way and had a helluva time getting back on his feet.
Venkat’s antique video cam didn’t provide much help to the third umpire, but was useful to catch the after-match camaraderie on video.
Coming to the part I played, or didn’t play in the match…. I missed atleast two catches, as far as I noticed. The ball zoomed past me like the golden snitch in a game of quidditch (remember Harry Potter?)
Hoping I’ll be allowed to improve upon my performance,(or non-performance) in future matches and that a tie breaker match be held to decide the real "INVINCIBLES",
July 25, 2005
Crush!
A loopy grin on your face,
you drift off into space
To that wonderful place,
and you see your crush's face
The sun stares mouth agape,
while clouds rush to give chase
Birds twitter and your heart flutters
Your crush utters your name,
your cheeks are set aflame.
Up your neck sneaks a blush,
and you wonder - Is this just a CRUSH?
you drift off into space
To that wonderful place,
and you see your crush's face
The sun stares mouth agape,
while clouds rush to give chase
Birds twitter and your heart flutters
Your crush utters your name,
your cheeks are set aflame.
Up your neck sneaks a blush,
and you wonder - Is this just a CRUSH?
July 19, 2005
Potter - mania
"Ruuuush...." I heard a faint voice calling out. I peered out, feeling much like Harry when he comes out of the Pensieve. From one world to the other, both seemingly real. The magic of J.K.Rowling; and here I am not referring to the actual practice of magic, but the literary use of that word. As I was saying, the magic of this particular author resides in her ability to seize the reader's mind and pull him into her world, as though he were being Apparated, from one world to the other.
To look up from the book would be like coming out in a fireplace after using some Floo powder. A sense of haziness, and a little time to take in your surroundings. Fact remains, you wont know for atleast a few seconds, as to what the hell you are doing in a Bank, surrounded by strangers. That is, until your dad looks at you with an exasperated expression on his face, "I said, shall we leave? My work here is done." Your dumbfoundedness disappears. "Er, dad, am sorry, I was reading...".
Atleast your dad understands. Your boss most certainly wouldnt! And thankfully, my cousin did understand when I sent someone else to pick her up from the station. I just had a few pages to go, the fact that she wouldnt recognise my friend, didnt know the local language, or that she was new in town all melted away, like an ill formed Patronus.
To those who dont read Harry Potter - You wouldnt understand, any more than the MudBloods can! I apologise sincerely for using filthy language. But I would suggest one thing - Try! It might work like one of the love potions, and you will fall hard, mind you. Although unlike the potion, this one will never find its effects wearing off.
To look up from the book would be like coming out in a fireplace after using some Floo powder. A sense of haziness, and a little time to take in your surroundings. Fact remains, you wont know for atleast a few seconds, as to what the hell you are doing in a Bank, surrounded by strangers. That is, until your dad looks at you with an exasperated expression on his face, "I said, shall we leave? My work here is done." Your dumbfoundedness disappears. "Er, dad, am sorry, I was reading...".
Atleast your dad understands. Your boss most certainly wouldnt! And thankfully, my cousin did understand when I sent someone else to pick her up from the station. I just had a few pages to go, the fact that she wouldnt recognise my friend, didnt know the local language, or that she was new in town all melted away, like an ill formed Patronus.
To those who dont read Harry Potter - You wouldnt understand, any more than the MudBloods can! I apologise sincerely for using filthy language. But I would suggest one thing - Try! It might work like one of the love potions, and you will fall hard, mind you. Although unlike the potion, this one will never find its effects wearing off.
July 07, 2005
Pome(s)!!!
3:
well I am back,
with a little self pat,
coz if I dont do that,
pray who will do that,
now you will get a whack
or maybe a smack
if you go on and on
abt my self prais-athon!!
2:
since the dawn of time,
its been a fashion to mime,
and i opine
since u whine,
that imitation is the best line
of compliment to my rhyme.
now go sip and dine
coz its almost lunch time!!
1:
the end of the week is near,
its the best season of the year,
call those near and dear,
make merry in your party gear!!!
well I am back,
with a little self pat,
coz if I dont do that,
pray who will do that,
now you will get a whack
or maybe a smack
if you go on and on
abt my self prais-athon!!
2:
since the dawn of time,
its been a fashion to mime,
and i opine
since u whine,
that imitation is the best line
of compliment to my rhyme.
now go sip and dine
coz its almost lunch time!!
1:
the end of the week is near,
its the best season of the year,
call those near and dear,
make merry in your party gear!!!
June 26, 2005
Smile
I walked out of my dance class with my muscles screaming. The next batch was waiting to be called in. A bunch of six year olds. And they were all smiling. At me. Then they said “Hi!”. I was surprised, very pleasantly surprised. You don’t get to smile and say Hi to strangers when you are an adult. Or even when you are entering your teens.
Now why is that, I wonder. Fear of rejection? What if the other person does not smile back? Or worse, smirks and makes a nasty comment?
Imagine you are in your office, with more than a hundred people on your floor. And you don’t know any of them, save a select few. Then a really funny thing happens when you are around. Maybe one person lands on her rocker one day, and she smiles at you and laughs at herself. You exchange names, start talking. And become good friends. Then you may wonder, why didn’t I meet her before? What if she had not fallen off, we still would pass by each other with stony faces!!
How easy it is to meet people when you are young. To throw all your cares into the wind and just smile at the other person because you are comfortable in your skin, and because its great to be alive. We must borrow from the enthusiasm of the tots. And make sure that they don’t lose it as they grow up. Smile at someone, and mean it. Not a distracted smile. A “its great to meet you” kind of Hi. Live in the moment. Cause as they say, you don’t know who’s falling in love with your smile!
So I greet everyone in my class with a loud “Hi” and force them to remember my name by asking them that at every class. Maybe a little on the pestering side, but hey, it works! So go out there, and smile at the people you meet, just like the tots who greeted me after my class.
The world awaits.
Now why is that, I wonder. Fear of rejection? What if the other person does not smile back? Or worse, smirks and makes a nasty comment?
Imagine you are in your office, with more than a hundred people on your floor. And you don’t know any of them, save a select few. Then a really funny thing happens when you are around. Maybe one person lands on her rocker one day, and she smiles at you and laughs at herself. You exchange names, start talking. And become good friends. Then you may wonder, why didn’t I meet her before? What if she had not fallen off, we still would pass by each other with stony faces!!
How easy it is to meet people when you are young. To throw all your cares into the wind and just smile at the other person because you are comfortable in your skin, and because its great to be alive. We must borrow from the enthusiasm of the tots. And make sure that they don’t lose it as they grow up. Smile at someone, and mean it. Not a distracted smile. A “its great to meet you” kind of Hi. Live in the moment. Cause as they say, you don’t know who’s falling in love with your smile!
So I greet everyone in my class with a loud “Hi” and force them to remember my name by asking them that at every class. Maybe a little on the pestering side, but hey, it works! So go out there, and smile at the people you meet, just like the tots who greeted me after my class.
The world awaits.
May 01, 2005
Window to my World
The professor had not arrived yet. Nandita looked out of the window. She saw the cutest guy she had ever seen in her life walk across the lawn. She saw herself walking towards him. He in black, she in blue. Aqua Blue.
Now. The lawn seemed different. The window was different. The guy was the cutest ever, also in black, but different. The girl was prettier, again, in aqua blue. They always say History repeats itself. She knew why. Both of them were walking towards the house.
The girl burst into the room. Nandita turned to look at her.
“Hi Mom!” said Arpita, her only child. “I met the greatest guy today.”
‘He’ll break your heart’, Nandita thought.
“What did you just say, mom?”
“Nothing, darling”, said Nandita, “tell me what happened.”
“You look strange”
“Don’t we all?”
Arpita wore a puzzled frown. “Anyways, he is Preethi’s cousin. He has come down for the hols.”
Nandita tried to overcome her sense of deja – vu. Rahul had been her best friend’s cousin too.
Arpita continued with “He just broke my heart!”
“That was bound to happen” Nandita smiled.
“Oh mom, not like that! Don’t be so cynical. Not everyone is like dad”
“So what did you mean?”
“Nikhil’s GRE scores are higher than mine, that’s what I was trying to say.”
“Higher than yours? That’s impressive!”
“Yeah. And don’t worry, he has a girlfriend”
“Can’t say I am relieved” Nandita said with a twinkle.
“Oh puhlease!”
They enjoyed their bantering.
Nandita looked out of the window again. She was transported twenty years back. It had not been easy after he left. He, Rahul, Arpita’s father. But she was a strong person. Nandita took to writing to support herself and her daughter. Today she was a household name. Wish she could see Rahul’s face now. Ha!
She could see someone walking up to the house. Nikhil, that boy Arpita was talking about.
“Mom, I am going out.”
“I assumed as much”
“Are you psychic or what?”
“I am blessed with the miracle of sight, darling”. She added with a mischievous smile, “Been there, done that.”
“Not again! Ma, my life is different”
“So you say.” She hoped ardently that it really was different.
“I can take care of myself, don’t worry.”
“I know that”. I did it, so can my daughter.
“Thanks Ma. Bye!”
Nandita looked out of the window.
Some things never change.
Now. The lawn seemed different. The window was different. The guy was the cutest ever, also in black, but different. The girl was prettier, again, in aqua blue. They always say History repeats itself. She knew why. Both of them were walking towards the house.
The girl burst into the room. Nandita turned to look at her.
“Hi Mom!” said Arpita, her only child. “I met the greatest guy today.”
‘He’ll break your heart’, Nandita thought.
“What did you just say, mom?”
“Nothing, darling”, said Nandita, “tell me what happened.”
“You look strange”
“Don’t we all?”
Arpita wore a puzzled frown. “Anyways, he is Preethi’s cousin. He has come down for the hols.”
Nandita tried to overcome her sense of deja – vu. Rahul had been her best friend’s cousin too.
Arpita continued with “He just broke my heart!”
“That was bound to happen” Nandita smiled.
“Oh mom, not like that! Don’t be so cynical. Not everyone is like dad”
“So what did you mean?”
“Nikhil’s GRE scores are higher than mine, that’s what I was trying to say.”
“Higher than yours? That’s impressive!”
“Yeah. And don’t worry, he has a girlfriend”
“Can’t say I am relieved” Nandita said with a twinkle.
“Oh puhlease!”
They enjoyed their bantering.
Nandita looked out of the window again. She was transported twenty years back. It had not been easy after he left. He, Rahul, Arpita’s father. But she was a strong person. Nandita took to writing to support herself and her daughter. Today she was a household name. Wish she could see Rahul’s face now. Ha!
She could see someone walking up to the house. Nikhil, that boy Arpita was talking about.
“Mom, I am going out.”
“I assumed as much”
“Are you psychic or what?”
“I am blessed with the miracle of sight, darling”. She added with a mischievous smile, “Been there, done that.”
“Not again! Ma, my life is different”
“So you say.” She hoped ardently that it really was different.
“I can take care of myself, don’t worry.”
“I know that”. I did it, so can my daughter.
“Thanks Ma. Bye!”
Nandita looked out of the window.
Some things never change.
A Flying Leap
Mary looked out of the window. The world seemed such a busy place outside. Noisy. She had never ventured out of this house. The house where she was born, and her ancestors before her. She was not much of the adventurous kind, one could gather.
She loved this place, with its quaint mustiness, cobwebs and all. Her best friend Rosy, always wanted to go out of this place. She had lived here since she was born too.
They loved scurrying about the house. It was a huge house. People who lived outside thought it was haunted. There were stories abound, about monsters rushing in, in the dead of the night. “How stupid can they get?”, she mused now. She knew better.
Her mom called across to her, to come and have food. She and Rosy scampered along, laughing throughout the way. They were a content lot. The room was lit only by the lights in the street below. They didn’t care much for the absence of light.
Suddenly the light was cut off. A huge creature stood on the window ledge. Everybody rushed for cover. So this was the monster that everyone talked about! The creature came at them, claws in the air, teeth bared and tail ramrod straight. As it made a move towards the dinner table, Mary jumped to the window. The ledge from which she could see the world. The world she had never been in.
The creature turned to her, coming after her. Mary knew what she had to do. She jumped out of the window, to the world she had never seen, to escape this monstrous creature.
There she hung, two years later, on a silver cobweb her mother would have been proud to see. Mary, the spider, had learnt her lesson well. The cat that had wandered into their home, never showed up after that night. Mary’s family had scattered. She could have moved. But she had her own family right here now. Just over the ledge.
She was not of the adventurous kind.
She loved this place, with its quaint mustiness, cobwebs and all. Her best friend Rosy, always wanted to go out of this place. She had lived here since she was born too.
They loved scurrying about the house. It was a huge house. People who lived outside thought it was haunted. There were stories abound, about monsters rushing in, in the dead of the night. “How stupid can they get?”, she mused now. She knew better.
Her mom called across to her, to come and have food. She and Rosy scampered along, laughing throughout the way. They were a content lot. The room was lit only by the lights in the street below. They didn’t care much for the absence of light.
Suddenly the light was cut off. A huge creature stood on the window ledge. Everybody rushed for cover. So this was the monster that everyone talked about! The creature came at them, claws in the air, teeth bared and tail ramrod straight. As it made a move towards the dinner table, Mary jumped to the window. The ledge from which she could see the world. The world she had never been in.
The creature turned to her, coming after her. Mary knew what she had to do. She jumped out of the window, to the world she had never seen, to escape this monstrous creature.
There she hung, two years later, on a silver cobweb her mother would have been proud to see. Mary, the spider, had learnt her lesson well. The cat that had wandered into their home, never showed up after that night. Mary’s family had scattered. She could have moved. But she had her own family right here now. Just over the ledge.
She was not of the adventurous kind.
April 22, 2005
Incorrect Imagination
A friend was asking about Incorrect Imagination,if such a term exists.. and this is what i had to say.. Don blame me,i was bored.
What is Imagination?
The act of thinking about something that is either probable, improbable or impossible.
What is probable, is possible.. in this case,our imagination proves to be a "correct" one.But also in the case of the improbable,the mind is able to delude itself into believing,atleast for a short while,that the powers of the mind are infinite.
This may either be correct or incorrect depending on the perspective. As we all know,there is always a thin line between right and wrong.. what is correct for one person may be horrendously wrong for the other.The impossible,however defies imagination. It is all well to say that the mind has great powers and that anything can happen if you apply your mind enough. But no one actually has succeeded in jumping off a cliff and flying just by sheer concentration. If anyone had,they would have survived to tell the tale.
But even the jumping off the cliff scenario - even if it seems impossible.. can be turned into an improbable one.. by thinking of the inventions made over the past two centuries.. the leaps and bounds in the aviation sector..
If you had suggested to our ancestors that we could one day fly.. they would have laughed it off saying its impossible OR wisecracked that u r not Hanuman. But,if the same had been done during the time of the Wright brothers.. they probably wud shrug and say.. its improbable.. but after the Wright brothers,we all know that not only is it probable,it is also possible..
So it is difficult to define the correctness of imagination.
Because,if u try hard enough,u can actually make it come true.. maybe not in the original form as in your imagination(coz v were thinking of flying without any techno paraphernalia) but it does happen.
albeit a little different from what u originally thought of(am sure no one wants to travel with a thousand different passengers on a plane,given a choice)
What is Imagination?
The act of thinking about something that is either probable, improbable or impossible.
What is probable, is possible.. in this case,our imagination proves to be a "correct" one.But also in the case of the improbable,the mind is able to delude itself into believing,atleast for a short while,that the powers of the mind are infinite.
This may either be correct or incorrect depending on the perspective. As we all know,there is always a thin line between right and wrong.. what is correct for one person may be horrendously wrong for the other.The impossible,however defies imagination. It is all well to say that the mind has great powers and that anything can happen if you apply your mind enough. But no one actually has succeeded in jumping off a cliff and flying just by sheer concentration. If anyone had,they would have survived to tell the tale.
But even the jumping off the cliff scenario - even if it seems impossible.. can be turned into an improbable one.. by thinking of the inventions made over the past two centuries.. the leaps and bounds in the aviation sector..
If you had suggested to our ancestors that we could one day fly.. they would have laughed it off saying its impossible OR wisecracked that u r not Hanuman. But,if the same had been done during the time of the Wright brothers.. they probably wud shrug and say.. its improbable.. but after the Wright brothers,we all know that not only is it probable,it is also possible..
So it is difficult to define the correctness of imagination.
Because,if u try hard enough,u can actually make it come true.. maybe not in the original form as in your imagination(coz v were thinking of flying without any techno paraphernalia) but it does happen.
albeit a little different from what u originally thought of(am sure no one wants to travel with a thousand different passengers on a plane,given a choice)
April 18, 2005
Beauty and the Sleeping Beast
Looks are deceptive.Who would have guessed that Anish and Alpa are crazy about eachother?That is the sole reason Alpa asks doubts in class.So that Anish will wake up atleaston hearing her voice. Anish even asked Alpa out on a date,to which she accepted.
But alas,these Jabalpurguys never gives them privacy.To this date,the date between Alpa and Anish has notmaterialised. The chemistry between them both is such that Alpa's phone has gone to sleep eversince Anish touched it.(d phone's dead)
Anish started calling Alpa's Technical Group as Labour Class,in thehopes that atleast then they will leave her alone!But no,they didnt understand.So he started acting as the Resource Investigator of his group,so he can get an excuse to spy onAlpa's group and stay with her.
One day,Anish logged into Alpa's id and saw many msgs from many guys and he was very disappointed.He started sleeping even more in class.Alpa hastened to reassure him that she is true to him.I am not sure if Anish believes her or not,as he has not reduced his habit of sleeping in class.
Anish has been downcast ever since MATC announced the postings.Anish is trying for a transfer to Mumbai. Not many people know that Anish and Alpa were talking in the terrace on monday night(2-8-04).
Appealing to the Jabalpur guys to give Anish and Alpa some privacy and to let themgo out on their date..
---Rush
But alas,these Jabalpurguys never gives them privacy.To this date,the date between Alpa and Anish has notmaterialised. The chemistry between them both is such that Alpa's phone has gone to sleep eversince Anish touched it.(d phone's dead)
Anish started calling Alpa's Technical Group as Labour Class,in thehopes that atleast then they will leave her alone!But no,they didnt understand.So he started acting as the Resource Investigator of his group,so he can get an excuse to spy onAlpa's group and stay with her.
One day,Anish logged into Alpa's id and saw many msgs from many guys and he was very disappointed.He started sleeping even more in class.Alpa hastened to reassure him that she is true to him.I am not sure if Anish believes her or not,as he has not reduced his habit of sleeping in class.
Anish has been downcast ever since MATC announced the postings.Anish is trying for a transfer to Mumbai. Not many people know that Anish and Alpa were talking in the terrace on monday night(2-8-04).
Appealing to the Jabalpur guys to give Anish and Alpa some privacy and to let themgo out on their date..
---Rush
The Brother Maker
Let me introduce u to Padmasri,the brother maker of our batch.she has broken so manyhearts by making brothers out of all the guys in the batch.
Whenever she asks a doubt,everyone asks her to keep quiet,because their broken hearts meltat the sound of her 'koyal' like voice.(trust me,its anything but!)
When she whistles,all the guys come rushing out of their rooms,with expectant faces andlooks of disbelief,that she is calling them.But when they realise that the whistles were notmeant for them,their hopes and dreams come crashing down.
She's the only one with a 25 yr old son,Basavaraj.Basav asks his 'amma' for a chocolateeveryday.But she's so used to breaking hearts that she refuses to get him a chocolate.
Hoping Basav gets his chocolate by the end of ILP and that the brother-making processis confined to T-15,..
--Rush
Whenever she asks a doubt,everyone asks her to keep quiet,because their broken hearts meltat the sound of her 'koyal' like voice.(trust me,its anything but!)
When she whistles,all the guys come rushing out of their rooms,with expectant faces andlooks of disbelief,that she is calling them.But when they realise that the whistles were notmeant for them,their hopes and dreams come crashing down.
She's the only one with a 25 yr old son,Basavaraj.Basav asks his 'amma' for a chocolateeveryday.But she's so used to breaking hearts that she refuses to get him a chocolate.
Hoping Basav gets his chocolate by the end of ILP and that the brother-making processis confined to T-15,..
--Rush
Episode 1
The THA club takes immense pleasure in introducing its Founder , Vipin. The membership of Kondy is still in doubt.This as you all know is Niyathi's fault.
Vipin proposed to Kondy and gave him a week's time to accept the proposal. But kondy is not very sure whether the love in his heart is meant for Vipin or Niyathi. Both his master's degree and the Artificial Intelligence had not prepared him for such a situation.
Whenever Kondy speaks to Niyathi,we all sense a burning smell coming from Vipin. Whether it is out of jealousy or the cigarettes he consumes or both is yet to be determined.
Vipin has gone to such extends to declare his love for Kondy, that he learnt the most romantic language, French and proposed to him in front of everyone.
If you go to Vipin's room, you will see the 'nishana'of his love. All the chairs Kondy has sat on, all the tea cups he has used, will be found. That is why we have a shortage of chairs and cups in the training centre.
Hoping Kondy will reciprocate Vipin's love.
Rush and d Whole of T-15.
Vipin proposed to Kondy and gave him a week's time to accept the proposal. But kondy is not very sure whether the love in his heart is meant for Vipin or Niyathi. Both his master's degree and the Artificial Intelligence had not prepared him for such a situation.
Whenever Kondy speaks to Niyathi,we all sense a burning smell coming from Vipin. Whether it is out of jealousy or the cigarettes he consumes or both is yet to be determined.
Vipin has gone to such extends to declare his love for Kondy, that he learnt the most romantic language, French and proposed to him in front of everyone.
If you go to Vipin's room, you will see the 'nishana'of his love. All the chairs Kondy has sat on, all the tea cups he has used, will be found. That is why we have a shortage of chairs and cups in the training centre.
Hoping Kondy will reciprocate Vipin's love.
Rush and d Whole of T-15.
A Story of Doubt
Once upon a time in TCS,Technopark,entered a batch called T 15. the batch was renamed D 1. 'D' for the 'doubts' category and '1' representing the idiom,'one soul and two bodies'.
Yes, we are talkin abt Niyathi and koundy. this is a romance that began with doubt. or rather,doubts. Many,oh,so many DOUBTS.
when niyathi asks a doubt,koundy would explain it to her. they would pounce with glee, on the unsuspecting teacher,who had no idea what kind of a shock treatment,sorry, doubt treatment,that was in store.
The corridor in the third floor of B G Continental,our hotel,paved the way for the continuance of the romance,with or without doubts.
Doubtless,the romance continued thru the breaks,over tea and lunch.it left the rest of T 15,in doubt,about the nature of the doubts that were shared by Niyathi and koundy. Niathi,would always sing "kuch tho hua hai",from kal ho na ho...
This romance continued right under the noses of people in T 15. but they didnt notice coz they were all sleeping in class,without having any doubt about the romance with doubts.
Doubtfully yours,
Rush
Yes, we are talkin abt Niyathi and koundy. this is a romance that began with doubt. or rather,doubts. Many,oh,so many DOUBTS.
when niyathi asks a doubt,koundy would explain it to her. they would pounce with glee, on the unsuspecting teacher,who had no idea what kind of a shock treatment,sorry, doubt treatment,that was in store.
The corridor in the third floor of B G Continental,our hotel,paved the way for the continuance of the romance,with or without doubts.
Doubtless,the romance continued thru the breaks,over tea and lunch.it left the rest of T 15,in doubt,about the nature of the doubts that were shared by Niyathi and koundy. Niathi,would always sing "kuch tho hua hai",from kal ho na ho...
This romance continued right under the noses of people in T 15. but they didnt notice coz they were all sleeping in class,without having any doubt about the romance with doubts.
Doubtfully yours,
Rush
A Love Story
Akila got a jolt. Santhosh was sitting right in front of her. Her heartbeat increased to 100 beats per second. Her hair fell out. her eyeballs dilated to the size of dinosaur eggs. she started jumping up and down.
THEN santhosh turned to look at her. The air became charged with electicity. A thunderbolt leapt out of the sky. it rained cats and dogs.Mahendran,santhanam(her ex-es) were all washed away by the floods that ensued.
Clnl put Akila in a confinement room,hoping the floods would abate.but alas,it worsened. the next day,santhosh was found in the room.......... All the ppl at TCS,Technopark,ran out,scurrying for cover.The ILP team,thought hard abt the solution to this problem.
It was suggested by the Batch T 15 that everyone in T 15 should get posting of their choice and that akila and santhosh be put in the same place. everyone was very happy when this was implemented,as the floods finally stopped. So were all the residents of chennai, as the floods caused by the arrival of akila and santhosh, ensured not only enough water for them,but also for many generations to come. And everybody lived happily ever after!!
THE END..
--Rush
THEN santhosh turned to look at her. The air became charged with electicity. A thunderbolt leapt out of the sky. it rained cats and dogs.Mahendran,santhanam(her ex-es) were all washed away by the floods that ensued.
Clnl put Akila in a confinement room,hoping the floods would abate.but alas,it worsened. the next day,santhosh was found in the room.......... All the ppl at TCS,Technopark,ran out,scurrying for cover.The ILP team,thought hard abt the solution to this problem.
It was suggested by the Batch T 15 that everyone in T 15 should get posting of their choice and that akila and santhosh be put in the same place. everyone was very happy when this was implemented,as the floods finally stopped. So were all the residents of chennai, as the floods caused by the arrival of akila and santhosh, ensured not only enough water for them,but also for many generations to come. And everybody lived happily ever after!!
THE END..
--Rush
April 03, 2005
Seriously Funny
Being funny is not trying to make people laugh but helping them see the humour in their lives….some people have a wacky sense of humour. The kind that is outrageous, meant to be funny of course, but ends up offending instead(sometimes,atleast!).
Now u may wonder, why on earth am I serious about something that is to be taken lightly. You are not wondering in vain. I am just trying to be serious, for once in my life..Of course I was serious once before, when I had an operation…but that kind of seriousness was of my body and not my mind…well if I had known it was serious, I guess I would have been serious too. I am sure you are seriously wondering if you have to continue reading this article (?!).
You would most seriously, sorry, most definitely prefer the latest Harry Potter… which if you can lay your hands on, would you seriously (not again!) consider lending it to me? Which happens to be seriously expensive. But seriously, do you know that an Australian school has banned the book because it “promoted” witchcraft. I mean how serious can it get? May the minds of the enlightened folks dwell on other serious matters. While we seriously debate the morals issue, would you please excuse me while I seriously request all my friends out there to get me the newest Harry Potter book, at least to avoid reading such serious articles by me in the future.
Seriously yours,
Rush
Now u may wonder, why on earth am I serious about something that is to be taken lightly. You are not wondering in vain. I am just trying to be serious, for once in my life..Of course I was serious once before, when I had an operation…but that kind of seriousness was of my body and not my mind…well if I had known it was serious, I guess I would have been serious too. I am sure you are seriously wondering if you have to continue reading this article (?!).
You would most seriously, sorry, most definitely prefer the latest Harry Potter… which if you can lay your hands on, would you seriously (not again!) consider lending it to me? Which happens to be seriously expensive. But seriously, do you know that an Australian school has banned the book because it “promoted” witchcraft. I mean how serious can it get? May the minds of the enlightened folks dwell on other serious matters. While we seriously debate the morals issue, would you please excuse me while I seriously request all my friends out there to get me the newest Harry Potter book, at least to avoid reading such serious articles by me in the future.
Seriously yours,
Rush
Did you know?
Did you know that every time you hiccup, someone is thinking of you? Did you know that whenever Pinocchio lied, not only his nose, but also his ears used to grow longer? Do you know that as you are reading this, there are two horns growing on your head, one blue and the other red?
Did you know that Micheal Jackson, King (or is it queen) of Pop, has three children, one black, one white and the other blue (he was hung from a balcony-don’t worry, he didn’t die). Did you know that the Government of India spends millions sending VIPs abroad for medical treatment(there are no good doctors in India, dummy),while millions die due to lack of medical help.
Did you know that Rekha, the ageless beauty, spends more than 10 hours everyday for her beauty treatment (or whatever that upkeep is called). Did you know that if you have a squint, you are supposed to be lucky (ask granny).
Did you know that an Anaconda (remember the movie?) female, mates around 30 to 40 male Anacondas AT THE SAME TIME! Did you know that when you were a baby, your head was ¼ th of body length (height), and now its 1/8 th .
Did you know that our country made it to the Top 10 Nations of the world- for Corruption (of course!). Did you know that “Apple falling on Newton’s head led him to think about Law of Gravity”-is a fake story?
Did you know that if you have moles on your palm or fingers, you have a good handwriting? Did you know that Aamir Khan divorced his wife Reema, after being married for 15 years?
Did you know that if you hadn’t read this, you would have grown a tail?
You ain’t seen nothing yet.
Did you know that Micheal Jackson, King (or is it queen) of Pop, has three children, one black, one white and the other blue (he was hung from a balcony-don’t worry, he didn’t die). Did you know that the Government of India spends millions sending VIPs abroad for medical treatment(there are no good doctors in India, dummy),while millions die due to lack of medical help.
Did you know that Rekha, the ageless beauty, spends more than 10 hours everyday for her beauty treatment (or whatever that upkeep is called). Did you know that if you have a squint, you are supposed to be lucky (ask granny).
Did you know that an Anaconda (remember the movie?) female, mates around 30 to 40 male Anacondas AT THE SAME TIME! Did you know that when you were a baby, your head was ¼ th of body length (height), and now its 1/8 th .
Did you know that our country made it to the Top 10 Nations of the world- for Corruption (of course!). Did you know that “Apple falling on Newton’s head led him to think about Law of Gravity”-is a fake story?
Did you know that if you have moles on your palm or fingers, you have a good handwriting? Did you know that Aamir Khan divorced his wife Reema, after being married for 15 years?
Did you know that if you hadn’t read this, you would have grown a tail?
You ain’t seen nothing yet.
In the classroom
Date:11-02-03 Time:08:45 A.M Location:C-204 Class:P.C
Hunger. Not my fav topic, but right now I am thinking about it because I am very hungry. I got up when it was ten minutes to seven, put on the immersion heater, washed my hair, brushed my teeth…blah blah. I slept at 1:30 A.M. Studying? Well, for sometime. After I finished prep for DB2 exam, I should have gone to bed right?
Well, I didn’t. So it happens that I am sleepy as well as hungry. Bad combination. Why aren’t you asking me what I was doing? I was reading a book, ”Temple”, by Matthew Reilly. A very un-put-downable book. His books are always like that. ”Area 7” was great. Racy thrillers, set in the U.S or about a U.S defence team against a terrorist/govt group. Classic Good Vs Evil, but as I said before, Unputdownable.
Well that was what I was doing. Talking about the book didn’t make my hunger go away. I am still hungry. VERY hungry. My stomach is burning(gosh, I hope my acidity problem does not come back).It was Idly(I deeply love you) in the mess today. Oh shit! why did I ask? I want to eat something. Don’t think of something yummy rashmi, or you will be more hungry, if that were possible.
Wish P.C sir would leave the class. Am stifling a yawn. Why is it that whenever you look at the teacher(and the teacher looks at you),that the yawn tries to make its presence felt? Well, sir didn’t actually see me yawn(I stifled it in time),but he wouldn’t have let that deter him from his noble pursuit of educating my dumb(!!) classmates in the finer intricacies of the lingua franca anglais(English, you dummy).
As he goes ahead in his noble quest, my classmates are not listening,(Tch..how sad),they are playing games(rosy and sorna)
or talking or preparing for placements. Think I will disturb one(sheeba) of the few listening by giving her this to read.
Happy Reading!!
Hunger. Not my fav topic, but right now I am thinking about it because I am very hungry. I got up when it was ten minutes to seven, put on the immersion heater, washed my hair, brushed my teeth…blah blah. I slept at 1:30 A.M. Studying? Well, for sometime. After I finished prep for DB2 exam, I should have gone to bed right?
Well, I didn’t. So it happens that I am sleepy as well as hungry. Bad combination. Why aren’t you asking me what I was doing? I was reading a book, ”Temple”, by Matthew Reilly. A very un-put-downable book. His books are always like that. ”Area 7” was great. Racy thrillers, set in the U.S or about a U.S defence team against a terrorist/govt group. Classic Good Vs Evil, but as I said before, Unputdownable.
Well that was what I was doing. Talking about the book didn’t make my hunger go away. I am still hungry. VERY hungry. My stomach is burning(gosh, I hope my acidity problem does not come back).It was Idly(I deeply love you) in the mess today. Oh shit! why did I ask? I want to eat something. Don’t think of something yummy rashmi, or you will be more hungry, if that were possible.
Wish P.C sir would leave the class. Am stifling a yawn. Why is it that whenever you look at the teacher(and the teacher looks at you),that the yawn tries to make its presence felt? Well, sir didn’t actually see me yawn(I stifled it in time),but he wouldn’t have let that deter him from his noble pursuit of educating my dumb(!!) classmates in the finer intricacies of the lingua franca anglais(English, you dummy).
As he goes ahead in his noble quest, my classmates are not listening,(Tch..how sad),they are playing games(rosy and sorna)
or talking or preparing for placements. Think I will disturb one(sheeba) of the few listening by giving her this to read.
Happy Reading!!
March 29, 2005
The unending quest for a phone
--the author would like to note that any resemblance to actual persons(living or dead)
or circumstances, is purely (un)intentional.
A saga spanning five months...It all started with the protagonist,divya(dodo)
deciding that it was time she bought a new phone,to replace the one that reminded her
of a simpler time.. (if that rang a bell,friends 9th season)
Her bro,offered to send her a 'kewl' phone from the states..but unfortunately,that
didnt work out..and then the search resumed in earnest in january,with inputs from all and
sundry.. from the forum in koramangala to jayanagar.. word spread amongst the mobile
-sellers,of a young lady looking for that 'perfect' phone..
Sales reps quaked in their shoes when she entered and rushed to please..hoping
that they would be the chosen ones to provide that elusive phone..but alas..
amit accompanied her many a time on visits to the mobile places in town..helped
her find a phone she really liked,only to realise that she had not made provision for such an
expensive model in her budget.. and the castles came tumbling down(somethin similar
to the jack n jill story)
all the manufacturers of mobile phones in india were in contention for that 'puhfect
one',nokia - too common,lg - bad,motorola - costly!,and so on and so forth..
life partners have been found in less time..which brings us to the question,how d hell
will dodo find her Mr.Right? no prizes for guessing why dodoes are extinct now!!
--- Rush
or circumstances, is purely (un)intentional.
A saga spanning five months...It all started with the protagonist,divya(dodo)
deciding that it was time she bought a new phone,to replace the one that reminded her
of a simpler time.. (if that rang a bell,friends 9th season)
Her bro,offered to send her a 'kewl' phone from the states..but unfortunately,that
didnt work out..and then the search resumed in earnest in january,with inputs from all and
sundry.. from the forum in koramangala to jayanagar.. word spread amongst the mobile
-sellers,of a young lady looking for that 'perfect' phone..
Sales reps quaked in their shoes when she entered and rushed to please..hoping
that they would be the chosen ones to provide that elusive phone..but alas..
amit accompanied her many a time on visits to the mobile places in town..helped
her find a phone she really liked,only to realise that she had not made provision for such an
expensive model in her budget.. and the castles came tumbling down(somethin similar
to the jack n jill story)
all the manufacturers of mobile phones in india were in contention for that 'puhfect
one',nokia - too common,lg - bad,motorola - costly!,and so on and so forth..
life partners have been found in less time..which brings us to the question,how d hell
will dodo find her Mr.Right? no prizes for guessing why dodoes are extinct now!!
--- Rush
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