Closure

She was bored. She picked a nondescript bar, she didn't want to run into anyone.

"Its you", a surprised voice said beside her. It was him. She hadn't seen him in many years.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"Work. You?"

"The same."

And they drank. It was almost as before.

The next morning, she woke up with a smile on her face. She hadn't done so in a really long while. It was just like it was before.

"So what now?" he asked.

"Nothing. I love my husband, and I am sure you love your wife. In a few years you will have kids, and you will name your first born after me" She smiled. "I can't do that. The doctor said we will never have kids."

"You can go back to pretending like this never happened?"he asked. "I thought only men could do that!"

"Thats where you are wrong love, don't ever underestimate me"

"I have never done that, you know"

"I know." She said, packing up her purse. "Think of this as closure" and she shut the door behind her.

***
Two months later his friend called him up. "She asked for your number"

He got a call the next day.

"I'm pregnant"

How do you say GoodBye?

Nisha sat staring out of a window.

"I feel so numb', she thought, rubbing her hands on her arms, in an effort to keep warm. She didn't know how she managed to get through the funeral. There were people around her, friends and family, but she couldn't remember who was there with her. All she knew was that her sister was dead. Not coming back.

She still felt detached, unable to believe it. Whenever the door opened, she turned eagerly, half expecting Tania to walk in. And then there would be the gut-wrenching realization that that would never happen. She didn't know if she had come to terms with Tania's death. It felt so unreal. She had watched, as everyone cried around her, as though caught in a limbo, and seeing things in slow motion.

"This can't be happening", she kept telling herself. She tried to remember her last conversation with Tania. Nothing came to mind.

"I could'nt even say Good-Bye"


She stopped believing in God. And yet, only visiting the temple everyday brought her some solace. She had returned to her flat.

Vishal visited everyday, bringing her food. If he hadn't forced her to eat, she wouldn't have survived for so long, she thought furiously. She didn't know who had called him, maybe it was Tina. She hadn't bothered to ask.

Nothing mattered anymore. Her sister was no more.

Nothing mattered anymore.

By Your Side

It was an ordinary day. Vishal was getting ready to leave for work. His phone rang. It was Tina.

Nisha's world had just about fallen apart. Her sister was killed in an accident. While crossing the street.

She sat, numb, disbelieving, at the house she grew up in. Running around with her sister so many years ago. Her constant companion. Confidante. Friend. Mother. A sister can fill all those roles.

Thank god for Tina. She was a rock from the moment she found out. She never thought she would keep in touch with her college friends. But remain friends they did.

You expect the world to stop because something terrible happened to you. But it doesn't. You don't understand why. The earth doesn't come to a standstill. Time goes on. You have to go through the motions. You cannot curl up and expect things to go back to the way they were.

Hey Nuttie.

Nisha turned around at the familiar nickname. It was Vishal. She crumpled into his arms.

I'm sorry.

I can't believe she's gone. I expect her to walk through the door and say 'April Fool' anytime now.

I know, I know, says Vishal. What do I know? he thinks to himself. I don't have a brother or a sister. But he did have cousins. They weren't all that close though.

I feel so lonely! Its like losing a sister and a best friend and my whole world.

I am sorry Nisha. Sorry is so..inadequate. I will always be here for you. As will Tina. He added that so it didn't seem inappropriate. She knew it too.

From being the most important person in the world to the other, to go to a point where meaningless words must be said, felt like such a farce.

But now was not the time to think of all that. It was the time to be supportive. To be by her side.

The Bulls Vs The Bears

The rival college from across town had come to play the Finals of the Grover Trophy, a soccer fest for the college goers.

The Bulls and The Bears, quite ironically, might not have foreseen that they would in fact meet at the final. Leading to one of the best puns at college. The college magazine staff were having a field day. Even the nerds were out to find out if the Bulls or the Bears would ultimately triumph. The Mumbai Stock Exchange folks would have probably come down for a laugh if they knew. Or not, if they took their work seriously enough.

Vishal looked to the supporters before getting on to the ground. He could spot her, trademark red scarf when she wanted to stand out, quite literally, in a crowd. He blew a kiss in her direction. The coach simply glared at him.

Nisha pretended to catch the kiss, Tina looked on, exasperated. Tina knew the game quite well, after years of watching matches with two brothers she couldn't overpower. While fighting for the remote, of course.

"So when does it start?"

"Nisha, hang on till they are on the ground"

"Ok." A pause. "So what are they doing now?"

"Did you turn into the donkey in Shrek?"

"Alright, I got the hint."

Most of the game seemed to pass by in a blur. At half time, Nisha looked at the scoreboard, it said 1-0, in the Bears favour. "So Vishal's team lost huh?"

"There's still time, don't worry" Tina said.

Vishal hit a goal and the whole stadium exploded with joy. Nisha ran towards him and gave him a huge hug.

"Nisha, Nisha" the crowd chanted. Wait a minute, why would the crowd chant my name, she thought. Tina was nudging her, "Nisha! Our team hit a goal!"

She was sitting in the same place, not in Vishal's arms. Obviously. "Who hit the goal?".

"Tony did."

"Hmmm. So its over?"

"Nope, not yet."

Vishal hit a goal in the penalty kicks for the Bulls.. The Bears didn't.

"So is the game over?" Nisha shouted as the crowd erupted, this time, for real.

"Yeah, he won the match for us" Tina shouted back.

No, Nisha didn't run across the stadium to him. No one would have been surprised though, if she had.

**********************************************************
Don't ask me what this is, i cant believe i actually wrote this :( feedback plz!!

Nisha

How do I explain the mystery that is me? Vishal cannot put it in words, however hard he may try. He probably doesn't know me at all. Come to think of it, perhaps no one really does. Except for my dog, Julie, who does not judge me.

Another 5 minutes and I am going away from here. Although being at a table by myself isn't as bad as I thought. Except for the sad, curious glances coming my way. They are probably thinking, 'Oh the poor thing doesn't have a date!'. Vishal won't if he is not here soon.

Tina told me not to leave so early. 'Make a man wait', she said. Ha! What does she know! The cell phone is such a blessing, you can always pretend to be busy and pre-occupied, even when you are just deleting your messages.

'Hi there!' a voice piped up near my ear. Right ear.

I smiled at him, 'What, no kiss?'

The scandalous look on his face should have been captured. 'Here? Out in the open?'

'Are you chicken?'

'Hell, ya!'

'You think I am with you because of your charm?'

'Now we are getting somewhere. Pray tell me more'

'Well, I only wanted to have my first kiss before I turned 18, whats your excuse?'

'You are crazy'

'Just honest!' And it definitely did pay to keep a man dangling. Sweet revenge for making me wait so long. But then, what if that was the truth.

Poor Vishal.

The Aftermath

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that? .

I watched her walk away. Away from me. I fingered my pocket, and pulled out the little box. A diamond ring, set in platinum. Exactly the way she would have wanted it. I thought I always would know what she wanted. She proved me wrong. I put the ring back. Its time would never come.

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

*****

Exactly a month since she went out of my life.

Well I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I have been staring at her flat phone number for an hour. Not that I don't know it by heart.

"Hello?" Tina, her roommate answered.

'Hey Tina. Its me, Vishal.'

Awkward pause.

"Hey Vishal! How are you?"

'I am doing good. I just called to let you know that I am going to Canada for a year. Maybe more.'

"That's wonderful for you... She's not here though Vishal."

'Oh... That's ok.. You take care. Bye'

"Bye"

Tina kept the phone down slowly, and looked at a corner of the room.

I know I left too much mess

And destruction to come back again

And I caused but nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "It's over"

Then I'm sure that that makes sense

Nisha's eyes were closed, and it was too dark to see if there wre any tears.

'Thanks Tina.'

###########################################

Song has been Edited, found a better one to match the story.

A Lost Love

Lay a whisper.. on my pillow,
leave the winter.. on the ground.
I wake up lonely,
there’s air of silence.. in the bedroom
and all around...

It has been a long time since I even thought of him. But sometimes, the memories just wont go away. Like now. It's the eve of his birthday. Last year, it was one of the best times we had. I had surprised him at his house with a cake on the stroke of twelve. All our friends were there too. He wasn't expecting a party, and I was so proud of myself for keeping it a secret. A smile steals across my face now as I think of that night.

touch me now,
I close my eyes
and dream away.

I loved going on his bike, late in the evening, when there's barely any traffic, and you can zoom your heart out. The wind in my hair, him riding the bike, in the middle of the night. There was this one time when we were going by the airport, and for one timeless moment, we were parallel to a plane landing on the air strip. Exhilarating.

It must have been love
but it’s over now.
it must have been good
but I lost it somehow.
it must have been love
but it’s over now.

We fit so snugly into each other. It had always felt so.. perfect. I loved watching him try to teach me the intricacies of the stock market. How I could make my money work for me. It was pure joy watching his face creased in concentration. How animated his eyes were. And how serious he could be. He was smart, no doubt about it. Just not the right person for me.

It had started unravelling in the past few months. Insecurity, less time with each other, probably boredom too. It was not fun anymore. Just a lot of fighting, about trivialities. I knew him like the back of my palm. He probably knew me just as well. Maybe that was the trouble too.

I had to tell him, that it was over. It had been over a long time now, he probably was thinking the same by now. Mulling over it and wondering how he could help fix it. He loved fixing stuff.

I met him at the park near his house. Autumn. Leaves on the ground. Gusts of wind blowing the leaves away. I will always have a mental picture of him turning up the collar of his coat against the wind, and then smiling slowly as he spotted me. I loved the way his smile spread across his face. Unhurried. Like most of the things he did. Unimpulsive. A flash of disgust as I realised I am being unfair to him. I want to keep atleast the good memories. He deserves that. We deserve that. For a long while, he meant the world to me.

from the moment we touched
’til the time had run out.
Make-believing we’re together,
that I’m sheltered by your heart.
but in and outside
I’ve turned to water like a teardrop in your palm.
and it’s a hard winter’s day, I dream away.

'Hey babe.'

We hug. His brows creased into a frown. 'You wanted to talk to me?'

'Yeah. I don't know how to say this... But its over honey'

He was taken by surprise, probably didn't realise what I was talking about yet. His face then turns grim.

'I noticed too. Thought we could work it out.'

'I don't think that will happen. You know, better end it now before it turns ugly. Less hurt.'

He did look hurt. 'Maybe.' Disbelief.

'So.. what happens to us? Are we just friends now or what?'

'We will keep in touch. Call if anything. Keeping the other posted. Newsflashes. Not friends. We can never go back to that.'

'I know.'

I hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

And I walked away.

Without turning back.

It must have been love
but it’s over now,
it was all that I wanted,
now I’m living without.
it must have been love
but it’s over now,
it’s where the water flows,
it’s where the wind blows.